I have posted before, some background can be sourced from previous posts. I am in a relationship, now 21 months long. I'm 40, bf is 39 this month. I have returned about a similar theme to my last post. My bf has a passion - climbing. He loves nothing more than to climb. But he is semi-injured. He has finger problems at present and his climbing has had to become more balanced with rest and other activities. So he is climbing way less.
He has a climbing partner, a female. I would say she is also his best friend. Without going too deep into that as I have posted about it before, she and him have a passion for climbing and this shapes their friendship. He knew her before we met (18 months before I knew him) and to my knowledge they did a lot together from the off.
We have had many ups and downs over her. She has very few boundaries including telling my bf about her love for d**k, s*x interests, her menstruation, you name it. I know this stuff as he has been honest with me and has told me early on when I guess he thought I didn't mind hearing it.
Our relationship improved the less he saw her and became more balanced with climbing but she remains a friend and he will seek her out if she is available to go climbing (if his fingers are up to it).
Anyway, this woman knows I don't like her (us women know this stuff) and I know she doesn't like me. I would guess that she resents me coming between her and my bf as they aren't as close now. Another reason is because I confronted her for sending a semi naked picture to my bf when she shared her holiday album with him... because she is very 'open' like that. She apologised to me but it changed things with her. We stopped being friendly.
Anyway, all through their friendship she has been in a relationship herself. Albeit her bf is always working, isn't much of a climber and she would much rather spend time climbing and having fun with my bf than him. When my bf was single, she was not. I always wondered if she were single would he have tried with her. She recently broke up with her bf and at first I felt uneasy but my bf showed it made no difference to us as we have stayed together and he hasn't grown closer to her. That actually turned out to be a good thing for us as he showed who he wanted to be with.
Like I say, we are 21 months now. I have been sensitive at times about their friendship being too intense and he is way better with me now than her. She used to be the woman in his life and I was second fiddle to them and their climbing. Over time he has fallen deeper in love with me and expresses how much he wants to be with me. She has invited him to join her tomorrow on a climbing day - I have no issue with this. They are still friendly. All I have ever wanted is stronger boundaries.
So my post - it is about new information I had from my bf when I was asking him about a past event I had heard about. My bf went skinny dipping in the dark a couple of summers back. I know my bf is open about nudity and claims it is an innocent thing for him - the naturist concept - that nudity isn't sexual and perverts are not welcome within them. I found out that she was the other skinny dipper that night and another female friend didn't undress or go in the water, but was present too. I'll admit that I asked lots of questions about this evening. I said so you have seen her naked? He said yes. That got me asking why did you look at her body? A naturist wouldn't be doing that. He said he was a single man and made a quick glance at a naked woman next to him. He said her naked body did nothing for him and he felt no attraction.
I accept this was before our relationship. The problem I have is he has always promised me he has never been interested in her in that way despite their extremely close friendship, however he did check her out that night and 'tested the waters' to see if her body was attractive and would do it for him. The fact the outcome was she didn't have that effect is less important because he did check her out. I feel frustrated that he has always justified the nudity as innocent only to sneak a peek at the opportunity to do so. He defended himself saying 'as a single man I think it is natural to glance at a naked woman.' That may be true however I also do not see that aligning with the notion this is a friend who you had no interest in, in that way, nor with the view that a naturist does not see a naked woman in a sexual way. The very defence 'as a single man' suggests to me a sexual motivation in the looking.
The final element of my post is to say that he did not tell me about this for 21 months but continued to have a close relationship with this woman. I have been unhappy in the past with the semi-nude photo, her scantily clad attire, and feel stupid that the reality is he had seen it all anyway.
I feel betrayed by the secret and him checking out this naked friend. He acknowledges he should have told me sooner but thought I wouldn't react well. I guess he also suspected that his ongoing friendship with her could be a problem for our relationship if I knew he had seen her naked.