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investigation with child protective services
My son has been w/the current babysitter for 1.5 years and he loves her to death. She was also watching some kids next door (2 girls). well, I believe the mom next door was the one who called Child Protective services on the babysitter alleging she threw my son over her head and acorss the room, she took showers with my son, etc. My son went through the 1st interview at schoola dn they had concerns. Now he is having to go through a special 2nd interview with a forensic investigator and a detective. I find it hard to belive she has done these things. My son did deny being thrown across the room. is it possible him being six, he gets mixed up with the questioning, etc. Anyone else been thru this. Also, now we are not using the babysitter b/c of this situation, have been advised not to return him to her. It's just so much!!
I also wonder if the mom next door is angry at the babysitter and she is being vindictive, but I htink they would have to question her girls as well, right???
I also wonder if the mom next door is angry at the babysitter and she is being vindictive, but I htink they would have to question her girls as well, right???
In the interview (initial) one at the school, my son told them that he takes showers with the babysitter. Also, pictures were taken with no clothes on. She told him not to tell me things, etc. She was calling the little girls next door "evil". So as you can see I'm really confused b/c he tells me no they did not take showers togehter and then I asked him if he was afraid to tell me some things and he said that I would get mad. The sitter fervantly denies taking showers with him. I'm just so confused. My son will deny taking showers too when I ask him.
We have a 2nd interview tomorrow with a forensics investigator and a detective as well as the gentleman from CPS. with the 1st interview there was a possibility this could all be wrapped up, but that was not to be the case from my son's responses. It raised concerns and a report was filed w.the county sheriff dept.
He denied being thrown overhead.
So right now, I am in the process of looking for new babysitters as I have to make a living and I need to do something, I don't know how long all this process will take.
The police detective told me not to talk to her about the case and it's hard to talk to her w/out talking about the case. Until this is cleared, she cannot babysit.
She babysits for multiple families, will they investigate this?
Also, the CPS man said he has consistent things said from all teh children.
I would hate to think my son did not tell the truth during the interview with CPS or he was led into saying Yes to things that did not happen. But a lot of times kids will tell those people things they will not tell mom and dad and he might not even realize it is abuse. Sexual abuse is a lot different than physical abuse, which I am 100% phsyical abuse did not take place.
What happens to people who falsely report?
Do you think it is smart at this point for me to look at other babysitters? I like this babysitter even though at times she has been pushy and manipulative and has gotten angry before and stormed off a multitude of times wondering if she will sit for me again and has threatened in the past to find a new family. She has been there a lot of times for me when I really needed her. But I hate to bring new people into the picture and then throw them out again. It's all so tough to know what to do.
Thanks all for your respones it helps SOOOO much.
We have a 2nd interview tomorrow with a forensics investigator and a detective as well as the gentleman from CPS. with the 1st interview there was a possibility this could all be wrapped up, but that was not to be the case from my son's responses. It raised concerns and a report was filed w.the county sheriff dept.
He denied being thrown overhead.
So right now, I am in the process of looking for new babysitters as I have to make a living and I need to do something, I don't know how long all this process will take.
The police detective told me not to talk to her about the case and it's hard to talk to her w/out talking about the case. Until this is cleared, she cannot babysit.
She babysits for multiple families, will they investigate this?
Also, the CPS man said he has consistent things said from all teh children.
I would hate to think my son did not tell the truth during the interview with CPS or he was led into saying Yes to things that did not happen. But a lot of times kids will tell those people things they will not tell mom and dad and he might not even realize it is abuse. Sexual abuse is a lot different than physical abuse, which I am 100% phsyical abuse did not take place.
What happens to people who falsely report?
Do you think it is smart at this point for me to look at other babysitters? I like this babysitter even though at times she has been pushy and manipulative and has gotten angry before and stormed off a multitude of times wondering if she will sit for me again and has threatened in the past to find a new family. She has been there a lot of times for me when I really needed her. But I hate to bring new people into the picture and then throw them out again. It's all so tough to know what to do.
Thanks all for your respones it helps SOOOO much.
Also, these girls LOVED the babysitter as well. They seemed like they could never get enough of her and were at her house constantly, always banging on the door. The babysitter really wanted more privacy.
I can't really rush anything along, it's in the hands of the authorities. Also, the detective said it could "take some time" esp if it went to trial.
I asked him about going back to the babysitter if this was all proved to not be true and his response (the detective), "we will cross that bridge when we get there".
I asked him about going back to the babysitter if this was all proved to not be true and his response (the detective), "we will cross that bridge when we get there".
http://ritualabuse.us/research/false-allegations-of-child-sexual-abuse-by-children-are-rare/
This is an interesting study. It said children tend to minimize abuse.
The detective said most that go onto this 2nd phase of interview are indicative of abuse, he said it's rare for it not to be true.
This is an interesting study. It said children tend to minimize abuse.
The detective said most that go onto this 2nd phase of interview are indicative of abuse, he said it's rare for it not to be true.
Children do not recognize abuse unless they are being hurt physically. Taking a shower with the sitter may not cause a 6 year old to think anything is wrong with it. But if there are pics the investigaters will find them, they will check the computer if there is one, and talk to other parents who used her services in the past to check for similarities to what the current accusations are. If they are proceding to court, they must have something more than verbal accusations. This is a bad situation, and your child may think if you find out he is taking showers you will be upset, or he is feeling ashamed and doesnt want you to know. Who knows what is really going on, and I do agree that people call cps sometimes just to be vindictive, but looking at the total pic, in this day and age, I would say there is something to go on or it would not have gone as far as it has. Children need protected at any cost, and as much as I feel for the sitter, the safety of the children come first and there is not any other option. Lots of people who have abused children got away with it for a long time without getting caught. I do hope it gets resolved soon.
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You said that his initial answer to the detective was yes about taking showers with her, I would believe this. Detectives have a way of getting it out . In the latest interviews your son said he was confused I would guess that is because of all the change going on ,
his confusion comes from the thoughts of ....Did I do something wrong? Am I going to get the babysitter in trouble? Am I going to get in trouble?.....
As a mother....mother to mother you ONLY job in this world is to protect that child....you have absalutly no oblligation to this womans feelings or acountability to her actions.....you stated that she is munipulative ....when someone shows you who they are BELIVE them. Really!....you only priority right now is your son, it ***** that you have to find a new babysitter but be greatful that this happened before you got a call from the hospital that he was thrown accross the room, please let this be the warning.
Don't worry about the babysiter right now stay focused on what is important right now and that is YOUR son. I strongly recomend you take the advise of the professional, this is what they are trained in, keep taking your son and I pray that their isn't more your son hasn't told.
I know you said you felt bad, it's probably cause your a good person but again your concerns need to be for your son. Once you cut of contact with this babysitter you will be able to look at the situation from a different standpoint and will have better clarity, but please as someone (me) who was abused don't take the allegations lightly there is a reason that the girls told, there always is......I can't tell you what it would have meant to me if my own mother would have made me a priority instead she "chose" to think of my abuser and because he was a repeat offender she didn't want to go to the police becouse he would of went back to prision......um maybe that's where he belonged but no he is free to this day and able to reoffend.
I will be praying for your streanght right now as this must be a terifying ordeal. But be thankful that it isn't any worse. Please do not go back to the sitter or have contact with her you don't want to take a chance with your son, he only has one childhood and the affects of abuse last a lifetime. This happened as a blessing and take it as such and stay away from this woman for good. Just my opinion. Keep posting , and I will be praying for you and your son, you sould like good people and you don't deserve this. Bless