Any parents of heroin addicts here?

[freakedoutmom51]

Hello,
   I am a mother of an 18 year old daughter who is addicted to heroin.
   She, like many others, started out on oxycontin. When she became immune to the higher doses of oxy., she started snorting heroin. Of course, I had no idea she was using until I found out by accident after she had been doing it for many months. We immediately put her into inpatient rehab. We could only get a total of 18 days inpatient and a total of 4 months outpatient covered by insurance and other available services.
   We thought she was doing well, and she of course, learned to hide it very well. If I hae learned anything from this whole horrible experience, addicts are devious, amazing liars. She managed to pull the wool over not only OUR eyes, but the outpatient counselors eyes as well! We just found out the other day that she relapsed and is now shooting heroin for 3 months.
   Finding this news out is both devistating, and hurtful to me and my husband. We feel we have given her all the love and support, counseling, and treatment we could. We even started trusting her again, which I thought I would never do! How could she do this to us???!!! I understand it's the drug that is more enticing than pleasing your family, but the hurt is overwhelming.
   We put her in detox and this is only day 3 for her right now.
   I wondered if there are any other parents out there who can share their feelings, frustrations, and stories with me.
Thanks.

[mimi2661]

absolutely! rebecca (daughter) still has some issues with control being taken away from her, but we are still in infancy in our situation. believe it or not, and I know you can, she was off heroin for a year just doing suboxone once before. Then she ran into her old best friend from grade school who happened to be living with a drug dealer and had advanced to shooting up heroin as well. so sad. This girl had been in college, majoring in physical therapy and had a little boy about 3-4 years old. so they got back in touch with each other. Needless to say, rebecca got back in touch with heroin too. so when I say the arm of addiction has a long reach, I mean it can transcend a lot of time and situations. this is why addicts have to leave everything, and I mean everything about their old life behind them and carve out something new and foreign to them. Yet another battle they have to fight. I do know there are people who have accomplished this on their own, but that is the exception, not the rule.
I, for one, have been unable to embrace the 12 step programs. I have issues with some of the early steps. I do not understand them, nor do I personally believe that one of those programs is the be-all/end-all for addictions of any kind. I know they work quite well for some people, and kudos to them. whatever works for an individual is the only way to go.
I am so happy for you and your son. Suboxone certainly can and does work, but like those programs, it isn't for everybody. There will never be just one way, one answer that fits everyone. Like you, I would much rather anyone on subs than shooting heroin. or anything.
Apologies for the haphazard capitalization problem in my sentences. My shift button doesn't always produce the capital letter!
I so hope everyone fighting this fight finds a way to win. all we can do is share our individual experiences and make suggestions.
I hope all of our stories help somebody somewhere.

I hate heroin.

Mimi

[Deb179]

I'm not at all knocking suboxone...it saved my son's life !!!
I heard it too, one drug replacing another. ..blah blah blah.
That was all we had left to try and i was willing to try anything.
In my opinion I would rather have my son on subs for life than shooting heroin.
I for one believe your doing the right thing
Good luck to you

[mimi2661]

Deb,

Ha...I knew I'd hear about replacing one drug for another, but it's okay. I get that and know that suboxone can be abused just as badly as any drug. Oh, I did read your entire reply and know you weren't knocking me or the use of suboxone in general. It's been a blessing for my oldest. After that first 7-10 days with the youngest, she got more stable and even. I am seeing more and more of her sweet funny normal personality as opposed to the monster that heroin turns her into.

I hate heroin.

Thanks for writing and noticing me.

mimi

[Deb179]

Silly thing posted before I was ready :)
Anyways. ..glad you found your way here. Having others that know your life,  is great support.
Use us and GOOD LUCK to you all.
As you know this is NOT hopeless,  you've seen recovery once with your other daughter...you can see it again !!

[Deb179]

Hi mimi !!!!
Your post hit a note with me...also addicted to the needle, how true that is.
Sounds like positive direction going on in your / your daughters life.  It makes a  WORLD of difference when all family members work together !!
I'm sorry this is your second run with this. ..it's life draining.
My 3 kids each were touched by drugs at different levels. My 2 oldest found their way on their own....my youngest son, I can only describe as being touched by some un-human force as there was no way he should have survived. He is 2 1/2 years clean and the one that took me on the of my life.
Suboxone has its place,  I believe the best fit...is heroin addiction.
When were told to stay away from it...it's trading one addiction for another,  in many situations it proves to be a worse choice as I know how hard they are to wean from.
BUT...using that drug to replace heroin, is saving MANY lives as long as it's used they way its intended.
What your doing is tough...controlling every situation, it Can drain the life out of you

[mimi2661]

My youngest daughter, 26, is a heroin addict. She is also addicted not just to the drug, but to the needle. I've been telling her that for a couple of years, but she is just now kind of getting that. Addicts do get addicted to the equipment, paraphernalia and such, but the needle is particularly addicting. I don't want to get into all of that now, but just want to say that I have been the typical enabling parent. Vacillating  between tough love and giving her money. Her dad and I finally joined forces this past month. She had been able to get lump sums of money from him, but no more. We cannot give her any cash, and she is not allowed unsupervised in my house. She is taking suboxone, which does seem to help, but I hold onto it and she takes it in front of me. She is an expert at lying and stealing and conning and has successfully finagled things in the past. I do not trust her at all. She would steal my last dollar, leave me without money for food. She has done it before. It has made a huge difference having her dad on my side working with me to save her. We are very early in this team process, but I do have hope.
A lot of people don't like suboxone, but I have seen it work wonders for my other, older daughter, who uses nothing now. And I've seen it work for my 26 year old, but it has to be monitored and make sure she takes enough often enough that it doesn't wear off and allow her to use heroin. I have also seen people abuse suboxone, but in our case, it's been a useful tool.
We shall see. It requires extreme diligence, and is a rollercoaster, but I will not give up.
I wish everyone here success with your children. Never let your guard down and don't ever take the path of least resistance just because it is so exhausting. It is easy to do in a moment of feeling drained. And believe me, an addict can tell when you're tired and they will strike as soon as they sense it. Always be suspicious, even after they've been doing great for a while. The reach of opiates arm is very very long.