A Theory??? Addiction Recovery and this Website

[xru11]

I have a theory.  Now hear me out and don't get me wrong.  First I wanna say that if it wasn't for this website and specifically, if it wasn't for certain members here, I don't think I would have made it to my Day (7).  Really, I woulda broke down out of sheer duty to work and family with a:

                               "I have to function, I'll just wait till a time with less stress in my life."

But No.

You folks (and one person in particular): (1) Underscored how really bad this stuff is (2) the cold sober truth that it can be done but that it sure as hek won't be easy (3) I am not alone (4) the longer I wait the harder it will be (5) life gets better

Now here's the rub.

What if obsessing over the problem by daily visits and posts here on this site well after a reasonable withdrawal period, what if co-miserating with others in similar circumstances merely reinforces a psychosomatic feedback loop and thereby exacerbates the perception of symptoms that wouldn't be there if you just stopped thinking about it so much.  If you expect to be miserable and in pain you will be.

Its been been 7 days for me, and its still not great, but hey I can't complain.  I feel Okay?!?.  The mind is a powerful tool.  It can be used for or against you.  But if every day we wake up we start here on this site, we reprogram our mind to expect pain and misery or at least the dull malaise and if every night before we go to bed we do it again (by visiting this site) aren't we merely reinforcing expectations?

What if as an experiment, we decided to convince ourselves that we are healed and healed completely.  That we are normal.  What if we swore off the site for three days.  It would be easier for me cuz except for one or two of you I haven't really bonded with anyone.

I just want your thoughts on this, I'm not asking you folks to quit corresponding with me.  Frankly I kinda look forward to hearing from you guys n gals each day but think about this.
Let me reiterate that I am so grateful for find this place on the web.  But food for thought.  Now go think happy and healthy!

[laurel453]

why jumping ? i think  it's a good post and an opinion i can agree with... :)  

[Chi_Chi_Lover]

For me personally I've had to take two different breaks from the group. First was when I was first going through W/D. I couldn't take reading other people still using and tapering and feeling like sh** so I had to leave for a few months go CT and pull myself together and then I wanted to come back. I was proud of what I had accomplished and wanted to share my knowledge and support and thank the ones that helped me.
I left again in June/July I was trying to and still am (Lizzie Lou) sort out my life now that I do not numb myself with pills. I seperated from my husband of 20 years for 3 months and had a plan for divorce and going to school. All of that got thrown out (long story) but I'm back with hubby working on marriage and taking it day by day. I'm a little bitter but a strong gal, I'll work it out.

I do believe you have to stay aware of what W/D are and the menatal stuff that comes after. You should  not obsess  over it but be aware and have a plan to  keep as busy and as active as you feel like you can be during w/d. You also have to be ready to treat the mental stuff that comes after. These  are the things you were numbing yourself from and that and can arrise as it did for me 4 months into w/d and now  1year and 8 months later. I'm STILL PILL FREE/CLEAN but with all in my life I could easliy numb myself again. So I have to be careful and be plugged into the friends I love and trust...you guys!!!

I'm still not convinced drug and alcohol addiction are a disease (please dont jump on me) from what I have gone through it was a choice I made to use and a choice I made to stop without other help. But my dad died from Alcohol so maybe he passed this down to me??? I just don't feel the same about it as cancer, HIV other disease like that. Just my opinion. Please don't yell at me.

[laurel453]

i can only agree  wih you, xru, that this place is also for healing and recovery, i know for sure i wouldn't be in the same position now without it and the people i have found here ,  have been the best help i could have found ( not only a forum to cope information  but  a forum with  "living" help  for me day by day in this time..)

i like what you said , mangee, "i know i can , i know i can " (making  suggestion  work for good...  talking about suggestions  :))  yes, now "i know i can" thanks to having found this forum and for a while i will stay here as long as i think it's still helping me...

[Mandapanda17]

whoops,  going back and reading this post, I already responded 15 days ago. lol, I pretty much said the same thing twice :)

[Mandapanda17]

I'll admit that this place scared the h3ll out of me at first. I knew about w/d's already, didn't know so much a PAWS, and I for SURE didn't know a darned thing about Xanax, and other benzos. When I was on here still addicted to painkillers, I was a panicked mess every day, to the point where my fiance didn't want me coming on here anymore. I stayed and made it through that. Now facing the Xanax taper, which has been even more miserable than the vicodin withdrawals... of course I'm sure the PAWS is kicking in with me also, being at 70 days clean from vicodin today. I'm very thankful for all the wonderful people I've met and who have helped me through this mess I've been in for so long. Heres to hoping the rest of this xanax taper can go as smoothly as possible and I'm going to for sure quit reading the benzo site that gives you an A-Z list of  'possible' w/d symptoms. I want to be healthy and I know this forum has helped me along in my mission to do so :)

[Mangee]

Whatever works for you or whatever you think might help is well worth the try. However, we are all made up differently, what works for some may not work for others. Recovery is not a walk down a straight path. It is a complexity of trial and error. Where some are able to walk ahead steadilly others may have to crawl. You may be able to jump over the first hurdle or more but as you go forward the hill you are climbing seems to grow higher and higher. Your sense of purpose, your will to succeed, your inner strength all have to take hold and you must make every use of them to propel yourself forward. If you fall or stumble, don't quit, just remember you got that far so why not another day and another and another. Ninety nine percent of the people here will give you support as much as they can. That is good but the reality is that you and you alone must make that journey and you have the final say on how far you can go. When you stumble reach out, there will always be someone here who will hear your call and will be there for you but that is all. This may sound a little trite, even childish but they are actually very big words and every addict should stand by it when they start withdrawal. The owrds come from a children's story about a little train and the words are, "I think I can, I think I can." Just change the word "Think," to the word ,"Know," and you have the words,"I know I can," and then put them to use.