Hello everyone
I was here b4 last year in july. & to my suprise i see a few ppl here 2day that were here then. But i didnt come to see who was still here, ive come because i thought i had a handle on my addiction when in fact ive totally disrespected myself & my family. No i didnt come to get sympathy, ive come to get the help i had b4, the support, care, & love, which indeed suprised me the last time i was here. When i came here i was pregnant & taking vicoden. after i had finaly weened myself from it (thaxs to this forum and fladdict) & b4 my beautiful daughter was born. After she was born my ex had come back into my life exposing me to roxies. (& yes i do blame myself to) Yes, the same routine happened between us again where i was subjected to his abuse as well as my newborn. Needless to say, i put him back in jail & because of his extensive record it put him in prison, followed by a restaining order. Im sooo exhausted of this. Seems how he was able to get off of roxies w/out a problem because he's in jail, (they now have stuff to knock U out while U w/drawl) im left in turmoil. Left w/ raising 2 kids on my own w/ no job, I tried the tappering program that fladdict had givin me b4. It didnt work. It seems that i dont have the drive i had when i was pregnant. So w/ great thought, & it was probably the wrong one, i turned to methadone. I feel like it was the bigest mistake, but there was nothing i could do, i couldnt c/t cuz there is no1 to take care of my kids, i couldnt afford to keep buying roxies, so in all weekness, i turned to methodone.
sorry this is so long but i wanted to get some input from everyone, good & especially bad on what i should do.
im starting to tapper from methadone now, but everyone is telling me that its the worst to get of off, now im scared as hell & dont know what to do. thx for takin the time to read this everyone, & hope to get some good advise.