Doomed to be Single Forever

[troubleinohio]

i cant find the post i did awhile ago so I have to make new one to update in case anyone was wondering. I had told you all about a guy Ive known for over 10 years, how compatible we are and that he wanted to move up here and have us get a house together.  Well, he now wants me to move down there (about 1,000 miles away)!! instead!! There's no way that is gonna happen, I am not taking my children away from all their family. We have alot of relatives here, and they see most regularly at least once a week. There is no way Im going to take them to a strange place so far away and have them not be able to see their family (plus theres many other reasons it isnt a good idea either).  Sooooo once again Im striking out. I think Im going to resign myself to the fact Im doomed to be an old spinster, lol.  Forever single! You guys will probably read about me in the paper someday...90 yr old hag found in home with 458 cats, lol  

[PfizerFighter]

Stay where you are! If he wants to be with you he'll go to you.

[10356]

Trouble.. I have also lived through some very horrendous abuses.. from a very early age. as a child of molestation and rape. one does not seek healthy relationships. Physical violence and disrespect was what I had thought was the norm.. I have photos in Oregon of my face so beat to a pulp the cops said they never have seen a women so badly beaten.. I was picked up on a mountain road by a women who took me to the hospital.. I tell you only a couple incidents in my past.. there have been many.. I had to seek therapy for the anger.. I was a very angry girl child and women for a long time.. It will eat your spirit.. I had to seek therapy for the many challenges I have faced.. I credit this for me being clean Over 10 months now.. I would be dead if I did not seek it.. even in a loving relationship. it was not enough to quell my self hatred for living it..my anger.many other emotions add guilt and these would be the most prominent.. I no longer see myself as a victim but a survivor and one that gathers strength from my experiences.. this is what I would hope also for you.. I say this with all due respect.. lesa

[jollyman069]

I find be single real nice...I do what I want when I want...no one complaining about this or that...If  I find the right person fine if not that to is also fine..I am a very Blessed person

[mo2000]

I agree with what a lot of others say on here.... the right one finds you, not the other way around!  You are beautiful, smart, and most importantly CLEAN!! You are a prize!  Don't worry about finding someone, when the time is right God will introduce you to him.  There is a reason that God wants to you be a lone for awhile, probably because he wants you to be in the best shape of your life when he presents you your king!  You are doing great, surround yourself with friends and family, and before you know it you will be with the one you love who treats you right!

[PromisedLand]

I just told my wife I'm packing up for Ohio...get those chicken and dumplins ready, honey..I'll be there in a day or 2.

Jim....seriously...good luck..you seem like the woman that many a MAN would love to have as a girl friend, friend and wife...and one of these days soon, you're going to find him...and there'll be no question..

Just look for my Gray pick up..loaded with stuff ;-)


Jim

PS..got room for Bear?

[freebird227]

I divorced my third husband in 1986 while he was serving time for 2nd degree murder (but I didn't think he was violent )26years old
I remained single but was being courted by a veeerryyy rich man for the next several years.26 to 40( as I dated other men )
Eleven years ago I met my now husband Mick, he was 10 years younger than I.
He was exactly what I needed.I was 40 and he was 29 when we met.

Great chemistry, both in a recovery program.I was in my prime and so was he LOL
We've been married 4 years( he has 22 years and I have 24)
I had a lot of baggage to work through and some are sicker than others ( that included me).

Be patient and when your ready    he will appear.....Be good to yourself

[PromisedLand]

if only I weren't married...



Jim

[troubleinohio]

well im glad to see Im in good company and there are at least a few fellow spinsters here with me, lmao!
and Lesa, you are right, I know Im not healed yet from the abuse. Far from it...god just thinking about the ex makes my BP skyrocket and I hate him so much still it consumes me some days. I cant stand that i feel that way, but he did some unspeakable things to me and Im not sure I'll ever really get over that in my lifetime. I feel like damaged goods now and nobody will want me because Im just too screwed up from all that abuse and have wayyyyy too much baggage.  

I know I could be content being single, raising my 2 boys and a few pets but it would be nice to find love again someday too. Ah well...whatever fate has in store for me i cant change..it will be whatever its meant to be..

[allaboutmary]

Count me in the Spinster's Club..........actually I think if you've been married they can't call you a spinster or an old maid. lol  Sorry about the boyfriend.

[teko]

Its a deal! Its lopsided anyways so its his! lol

[NautyOne]

Hey, trouble......I have resigned myself to becoming  a old spinster too.

If it were meant to be, then he would have kept his word.  Feel fortunate you found out now........I hate "mind changers".......:-))

Nauty..........

[10356]

Hey trouble.. I'm sorry it did not work out for you but ya know.. after all you have been through with your ex.. there is a lot of healing to do and I know the self esteem issues we have when abused.. emotionally and physically.. before my husband I was in 2 relationships that were very abusive.. for my husbands sake. I wish I would have waited longer and received therapy to help me deal with the aftermath.. I think hubby and I both would have had a much easier time.. being single is a wonderful way to gain independence and confidence in who and what you are made of.. do not rush a relationship as said above.. sometimes it adds more drama then what we are able to cope with when not healed.. You made a very wise decision and You will not be alone forever :) It happens when least expected so use this time for healing ok.. warmly lesa

[dominosarah]

Throw in the couch too!!!

[teko]

If you are happy that is all that matters. Who needs all that drama anyway right? Besides, cats give unconditional love. They do not ask us to move and sacrifice everything we know and love for them! They just want to please US! Now that is true love my friend!

You can have my hubby if you pay the shipping. He be a keeper! Cannot get him off the couch! lol

[LIZZIE LOU]

i agree maggie...lol

my husband and i are still very much married, but live 5 hours from each other...and i only see him about twice a month.

I LOVE LIVING ALONE :)

trouble...you havent been single THAT long ! ! !

[flmagi]

P.S  Sorry it didn't work out with the guy. I wouldn't move far from my family either.

[flmagi]

Don't worry so much about finding a mate. Being single(a spinster) isn't necessarily a bad thing, and I, myself prefer having 458 dogs....LOL.  But seriously, when you least expect it, the right guy will come along. In the meantime, enjoy the single life, coupldom is not all it's hyped up to be.