Do you ever wish you could....

[PromisedLand]

have a day without a crisis or mess of some sort?  Right now in our family of 5, with 2 living elsewhere we have 4 different crisis...car problems (daughter has no money to fix) sick daughter (too cheap to buy insurance) other daughter in a crisis with a male, my sociopathic stepson in California (37) continuing to ruin my life, my exwife and my wife fighting and I'm in the middle....and I'm still trying to deal with my son's death...

There is something every single day.

Jim

[PfizerFighter]

I dislike passing judgment on others, but here, I think you are being a little harsh? You certainly deserve love in your life. It is not deserved, but felt, and we all know we cannot control feelings!!

[PfizerFighter]

I completely agree. Going back to one of my earlier posts about trying to do everything and sheltering children.... Essentially what this mean is the parent feels the child cannot handle difficulties or life problems adequately (or how we would like them to handle them). We are not intentionally doing this, but this is the underlying message. We are saying (not with words obviously), "I need to protect you, I need to make the choices for you, I am responsible to handle your consequences for the actions you chose."

The problem is, what the child (however old, 6 or 36) is receiving the message that fundamentally they are not equiped to deal with their own problems. As though there is something "wrong" with them, and why they can't seem to move away from dependence, to independence, and finally to interdependence.

So yes, handing back the responsibility of choices in relation to issues to those whom they belong is only the first step....

[PromisedLand]

Thank you for that R2R...despite all of this, I am in a positive upbeat mood today (though I'm about to do my taxes)...things could be much worse...I have a job..have worked for the same company for 32 years while people all around me have lost their jobs to outsourcing, offshoring, or layoffs..people with as many years as me, with families living from check to check like many of us..I"m blessed with a wonderful boss, though I've never met him, his response is always "no worries" and "jim I hear every day what a great job you do for our customers"..I have 2 beautiful stepdaughters who love me like their father, a stepson who at times calls me "Dad" and says I'm the only dad they've ever had...and my own surviving son of whom I"m so proud and love more than I can say..and 2 beautiful grandchildren and daughter in law...and a wife who for some reason loves me.

and no matter how bad things get, I love every minute of my life and do my best to live it that way...

R2R and others...thanks for your comments and your friendship..you all mean a great deal to me.

with love

Jim


I am blessed beyond what I deserve...I have a God who loves me, though I certainly don't deserve that...

[Jacqui805]

Wow dude, I'm so sorry for all your troubles.  I don't even know what to say to help or offer comfort....but please don't apologize for "dumping" here.  This is what this place is for, and many people care about you here.  If just talking about it with everyone here helps, then why the he!! not?  

I hope things get better for you soon Jim.


road2recovery:

What a great story to share.  It gave me pause.  :-)

[Sunnyd210]

I think you need to move to a warmer climate Jim LOL sorry I couldnt resist!!

[PromisedLand]

oh yes...car trouble...my oldest daughter (23) had her annual "skid in the snow and hit a curb" accident Sunday night and blew 2 tires, bent the rims and may have damaged the axle/transaxle...current estimate $2300..of course she doesn't have the $$.

last year it was just 2 tires and rims.

Jim