Hi everyone...

[vicki595]

I don't have a question but an observation I'd like to share with everyone.  

I've been noticing some posts to members that seem to be falling a little short of our objective here: addicts helping addicts. I truly believe that some of the best therapy an addict can receive is support and compassion from another addict(or someone with vast addiction experience as with a family member.)

I'm remembering when I first came to MH. Along with the turmoil I was feeling,I was now puting myself out to the world. That's an extremely vulnerable position to be in. I had no idea how this thing operated or how to navigate around. I read all the guidelines,of course, but did they "stick". No. I had a lot going on. I didn't know that it was wrong to talk about amounts of pills,how they made or didn't make me feel, what the acceptable vernacular was. Not to talk about the way I was tapering,IN DETAIL!! LOL   I guess I read all that but my mind was elswhere. I was only thinking about myself and how the hell I was going to live.

I do know that had I encountered critism,lectures,censor,sarcasm,and anything close to negativity from my fellow addicts here...I would have been looking for a rope to hang myself with instead of a life preserver...Thankfully,I didn't encounter any of that!  I remember the FIRST person who posted to me: "Norco Queen of the Universe" and my first "friend", "GottaQit". I was good with that AND their beautiful words!!

I try to remeber that when I post to folks and I know sometimes I fail at saying the best thing! For everyone, I think it's important to support our new members the best way we know how. If someone says or explains something in any questionable way, or posts 16 threads in the same day, etc...it might be better to guide them toward the manner in which the forum flows,respectfully, and let a few things slide with a little explanation to the new member on how things are done on this forum.

There are two things I try never to do (and sometimes I fail), I try not to put any guilt or fear into a thread; these threads will be here for millions to see, well into the future, and we're already guilty and fearful when we get here!

I hope my peers accept my message here in the manner in which I've written it. With love.

A huge welcome to all our NEW MEMBERS!!   (one month or less I'd say?)  

I hope everyone accepts this post in the manner in which I've written it; with love.

[ImDONENoMore]

OH come on vicki - you are WAY too smart to let any of the nonsense that may have taken place here mess with your sobriety.

You're stronger than that.  And you know it.  (and if you don't know it there are PLENTY of people here to remind you of that).

Now go do something FUN today and put this place out of your mind for a while.

[Jade59]

  ♪Dry your eyes and take your song out, it's a newborn afternoon♪  

                ♥~~*~~**~~♥~~(((((♥Vicki♥)))))~~♥~~**~~*~~♥

[Lindsay_T]

Hi Vicky,
You did nothing wrong. I remember how I felt when I first started posting. I was so angry and negative. I cussed and moaned. The best replies focused on what I needed to DO and not what I needed to post or not post!
I remember you replied to me SO many times, and it really helped! You know what's going on; you want to share your knowledge with others. That's a good thing!
Please remember: hurt people hurt people. It's not about you, what you advised, or what you posted. It's all about ME! Just kidding, but seriously, I would've freaked out if it weren't for your help and THAT should stick in your heart!
Love and hugs, LINDSAY (yes i am back) day one-half.

[dominosarah]

Come on vicki, you know that isnt the answer.  You rise above this.  We cant control what others think.  Dont give anyone else YOUR power.  You are better than that.  I know you are hurting and rightfully so.  Put on some music, grab some coffee and chill for a bit.  You know i am here for you along with many others.  I "heart" you girl~~sara

[vicki595]

When I wrote this post yesterday, my intentions were pure and I mean that. It never occurred to me that it would stir up old or new hostilities; it just didn't. Unfortunately, it has and I feel terrible...Although some of the posts here have been removed, it doesn't change the fact that I read them and felt their impact. It's hurt me; I'm sure more than it should have.  

As with some others, I've always felt that the forum was a safe and very fun place to be. It doesn't feel safe or fun anymore or at least right now...Yup!!  I'm hurting in ways that I can't even articulate and it's scaring me. I know what my past coping mechanisms have been and that mechanism is looking pretty good to me right now. I need to go assuage this pain but the only way I can think of to do that is terrifying to me...

[vicki595]

It's interesting to me that this is the first time,since you've been a member here, that you and I have ever had a one to one exchange. Here it is:

I honestly have no idea who or what you think is behind this thread. Like you, I can post or start a thread whenever I want to. Yesterday I wanted to.

How is it my fault when someone refers to me as "Sarg" (sergeant) ?  LOL

The last time I started a thread was August 28th. That was 8 days ago and in my world, it isn't a very long time...

Yes, you certainly can go to the Moderators for help and advice and I know they all welcome that!  At the same time, I know you're aware that your particular style of posting is not always acceptable; ergo last night when your posts were deleted.  But, that's really not for me to judge. I can only judge my own actions and if you feel that my posts lack support and compassion you can always send me a message or contact MH. I'm not sure what would help you reconcile your feelings, though. The fact that you don't happen to like me is your own personl issue.

I hope your posts remain here. I really do. You're entitled to your opinion,thoughts,and feelings. Of course, I don't know how helpful they are and they surely don't promote anything that could be construed as having a positive impact on the forum, but again, that's only my opinion.