How helpful would counseling be vs cost

[toot7]

Im somewhat new to this website and with everything going on in my life I have found it very helpful and informative. It has also led me to think that maybe counseling in person would be extremely beneficial to me, but I do not have insurance and finances arent all that high right now so I was just trying to get some perspective of how beneficial it would REALLY be and if anyone else thought itd help or if it was just me. I have also been a very secretive/keep to myself type of person, but the past few months have played hell on me and Ive been learning to let out alot more.

Im 24 years old. My husband passed away on our anniversary in our hallway. I was trying to help him and he just collapsed pulling me down with him. When I turned him over all I remember is that blank stare...I worked on him til the ambulance arrived and they tried to revive him twice and then that was it. We were both injecting Opana. We had a major problem. Between both of us we did about 20 Opana 40s a day. We never stole or pawned anything and we didnt have any bills lingering over us other than hospital bills so it isnt necessarily like every other situation...we had prescriptions and we had extra money for it every month. We had both worked our tolerance up so high that when we used...we were basically just keeping from getting sick at that point. We were fully functioning...worked, family gatherings, outdoor activities, cooking, cleaning, we just...idk. But the day that he died was the last day that I did anything. I didnt go through rehab or anything. I just stopped. Went through the full WDs and the vivid dreams that you have when you WD, usually about the drug, I was having about my husband dying in my arms over and over. Mentally...it was easy...Physicallly it was hell. He has 2 kids that he had custody of. They called me mommy. Their mother was trying to take them back and we were going through a custody battle with her...the appointed Guardian Ad Litem had talked to the kids several times and when I contacted her after Michael passed to see if I had ANY rights to them what so ever she told me that I didnt under normal circumstances, but if I found a loophole that shes be willing to testify on my behalf...that the kids were well taken care of and that we were mommy and daddy in their eyes and she feels/felt that the kids would be much better off and happier in my care. So basically in one day I lost my husband and my 2 children. 2 weeks later I had a drs appointment to see why I hadnt or THOUGHT I hadnt been ovulating and found out I was preg...3 days after that I miscarried mine and Michaels baby. I even already named her...assuming itd be a girl...Doctors said I wouldnt have carried out of first trimester anyway and it was a rarety that I had gotten preg because of certain female problems I had and I have surgery to correct it...which my body rejected and I had to go through obstacles a few times to fix it, but everythings fine now. The day of Michaels funeral though.....I found out he had HEP B and C and I had contracted C. Again I dont have insurance so the chances of me going through radiation is very slim and thats very disappointing. And everyone has something different to say about HEP C and doctors around here have been extremely cold and unhelpful to say the least. Ive had alot going on in the past  months and while this all consumes me....its not all of whats been going on...but these are the things that consume most of my time thoughts and feelings I guess you could say.

Im just really in a bad place mentally right now and I want to help myself with and through everything, but really dont know how or where to start. I miss my family and feel like Ive let alot of people down, but dont really know how to fix or heal any of it. I miss my kids.

[ActingBrandNew]

Wow...Im sorry. Your story is very sad. First, my condolences for your husband.

I recommend joining the Hepatitis C group here.

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Hepatitis-C/show/75?controller=forums&action=show&id=75&camp=msc

I'm a member of it and its very helpful. Ive had Hep C since 2007...on my 18th week of treatment...no radiation involved. Just pills everyday and a weekly injection that's often compared to chemo. You said you have no insurance to pay for the treatment...no problem. There's a program called PEGAssist. You'll find them at www.pegasys.com or call 1-877-734-2797. They are actually very helpful and have covered the costs of many peoples medication, both the copegus( ribavirin) and the pegasys(peginterferon-alfa-2a). They are connected to the manufacturer,Roche.

Again, Im sorry for all your pain. My advice to you is educate yourself about the HCV and seek treatment. Your odds of curing it a great because of your age and sex. Dont wait until you have a compensated liver....its not a death sentence if you deal with it.

Good luck

[singhabhishek251]

I am so sorry to hear about your husband when I was reading your story then the whole scene was coming in front of my eyes. You have struggled and manage through such a difficult situation and I pray to God so that he can give you strength to recover from this situation without any delay.
Best of luck.

[toot7]

thanks hun

[Bkitty]

You have been thru a lot!! I am so sorry. I was thinking maybe if you posted this on the Substance Abuse side there would be more responses. Im sorry that no one has answered you yet. Have you looked into any grief support groups in your area? Some churches offer them and they are free. I can tell you counseling and therapy helped me tremendously.! I will write a longer response later sweetie. Im gonna  ask for some help for you on the other side. ((((hugs))))~Bkitty