stupid stupid stupid

[carrieoffcocainenow]

fell off the wagon the other night. I'm so mad at myself cause i was doing so good. 3 weeks clean from coke and i go and do something stupid to erase all my progress. plus, all i wanted to do last night was score an 8 ball. what the hell was i thinking. life is too short to spend it staring out the windows why cant i stop?????????

[carrieoffcocainenow]

funny thing about this addiction for me is i know i caould stop if it wasnt always around, cause when its not, it doent even bother me, but the person i live with just doesnt understand how bad i want to be done with this part of my life. Ive done everything but tatoo it on his forhead and he just dont listen. I mean sure he doesnt offer it to me anymore but i know where his hiding place is so instead ofus doing it together, i sneak it behind his back, got caught too so now hes mad at me for  doing his stash and its not my fault, I have no will power. I feel like screaming "KEEP YOUR  S*** SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!!!!!  and i know what you're thinking right now, why don't you just leave him and believe me i have thought about that, but there are circumstances that make that almost impossible for me to do that. i wish hed just wake up and smell the roses. It would be a nice change from what hes used to smellin.

[gizzy32]

Welcome to the forum. You might get more replies on the addiction forum, this is the addiction social. Cocaine is so mentally addictive and tough to stop. It's my drug of choice, but am finally clean. We have to make changes, it's next to impossible to stay clean when around others that use, get rid of contacts #'s etc. I needed help to stop this drug and know your pain. What are you willing to do to stop? I had to learn the tools to beat the cravings, they are so intense and scary. This is a great support group so stick around and I am here if ya need to talk. Good luck:)