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1254023 tn?1269263985

Never told til now "my story"

well im a 22 year old female who has been addicted to pain pills for 7 years, it all started when i was 15, i was just hanging out with my friends mostly drinking, i didnt really do drugs i just drank, but i got preg. by a guy i was with for about 1 year, i lost the baby when i was about 2 months. well i went to the hospital and they gave me something to help with the pain, it was a wrap from there. I just started with a hydro here and a hydro there, well i loved the high and the numb feeling, so i would go to the hospital an make something up to get em', well it got to were i was eating them everyday more and more.
1,2 skip a few years lol
well in 2008 i got in a bad car wreck 13 days before my 21st b-day, driving after consumption under the age of 21, it was the best worst thing thats happen to me, needless to say i broke my arm, 4 ribs, my ankle, fluid on my brain.....theres more but you get the point. they gave me pain pills also 90 perk 10s a month, it was about 3 months after the wreck when they started decreseing the pills, so i would just buy my own, it went from hydro to lori's to perks to OC's and rockys to opana's.
well i went to court and got put on 18 months supervised probation, i got **** tested every month,i would just drink a gallon of water before i went to see my PO, and i would pass. i missed my appt. in dec. cuz i was snorting opana's and they would f**k me up so bad i would nod and i just could go.  well on jan the 6 of this year i had a drug test and i had been snorting opana 40s again, i couldnt miss it cuz she had came to my house to make sure i was coming, so i went an, my pee was dirty. well she told me to get clean and come back in a week, i looked at her and was like I HAVE A ADDICTION to pain pills and i wont be able to do it. THAT was the best thing ive ever done.
I had a 30 day suspended sent. and was on probation instead of in jail. i told her i wanted to do my 30 days, so i went to my parents gave them my keys and told them what i was doing
I HAD to quit cold turkey after 7 years, i detoxed for 14 days, the guards said i detoxed like a herion add. i puked, pooped cold sweats, cold chills, no sleep bad dreams when i did, i couldve cut my legs off, hearing voices, crying omg did i cry(about everything i mean everything), i laid in the bottom of a shower for 3 days throwing up until the guards picked me up and put me in a room and thats where i stayed for the first 11 days.I got out of jail on feb the 1st. People its not easy and if i said it was id be lying,but it took me going to jail to see just how bad off i was, dont let addiction get you like that, and beat you down.
FYI- trying to wing yourself off dont work or it didnt for me, it will be like ill quit today, no just one more, ok tomorrow.  
Today is march the 22nd and i took 2 perk 10s, 2 days after i got out, my legs hurt that night. I havent touched em since.

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE DEALING WITH THIS, I HOPE MY STORY HELPS YOU  
LOTS OF LOVE CAROLINA GIRL :)
3 Responses
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Avatar universal
Hi...
  I understand exactly what you went threw..... I'm 28 and have been doing some form of drugs since I was 13... now its roxy's and has been every since they came out.... before that it was perks.... anyway , my wife and daughter were killed by a drunk driver several years ago.... I was driving (sober) and we were sitting at a red light when we got hit at 65 mph. it almost cut my wife completely in half.... i was trapped in the car and had to stare at my wife and daughter helpless as they took their final breathes.... They gave the guy 6 years probation... Unbelievable!!!! a few monthes later i saw him at a store and he was sitting in his car drinking a beer.... i pulled him from his car and beat him ..... he died and they sent me to prison for it.... sometimes life seems unfair, but whatever.... anyway , I just got out of prison about 5 months ago and have been re-addicted to pain pills since day one...... the accident crushed my ankles , broke ribs, all kinds of stuff.... they said i'd never walk again, but i walk! when i'm wearing jeans to hide my scars, people can't tell that my ankles have been fused. anyway, i'm in the proccess of the detox off roxy's. I'm not sure how I'll deal with the pain with everyday walking, (thats why the doctor gives em to me )  but i'm tired of em, tired of being sick without em, tired of hurting my family......just tired..
God bless you and you keep on keeping on!  
                            matt
Helpful - 0
1254023 tn?1269263985
oh my im soooo sorry about your family, that would be hard to deal with deff.
i had a friend named jason it was his the weekend after his birthday an i talked him an another guy into going to the strip club. me and jason got drunk him much more than me. well on the way home the driver fell asleep at the wheel and ran off the road, jurked the wheel to get the truck back on the road heard jason grunt. when the driver jurked the wheel he hit a street sign and hit jason in the head he was bleeding really bad so we went to the hospital, i had to get out the passenger side cuz jason wouldnt move, the docs came and got him outta the truck and took him into the hospital. the docs came out and said with the blunt force of the sign an the speed that we were going it killled him on contact.this was my best friend and i talked them into going. i think about it all the time what if i wouldnt have asked them to go would he might still be here? who knows but i know he loved me and i know it wasnt my fault, god need all of them jason your wife and kid. there watching us now talk about our problems and how something soooo bad can bring people together.

Hold you head high you deserve it deff.
Nicky
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I blamed myself for years.... I just kept thinking surely there was something that i could've done.... if i had drove slower that day by 3 seconds....he would have missed us.... if i hadn't pulled up so far at the light.... if i had been in the passanger seat and my wife driving then she'd still be here.... For a long time i hated God cause i thought....what did i do that was so bad that he would do this to me??? me,me,me,...
But it is so much bigger than you and I...   We don't know why these things happen... yet they happen 1000 times a day.  I know the grief that you feel, thinking it was all your fault.... Nicky, its not your fault.... I don't know how long ago your accident  happened.... but one day, if you already haven't, you'll figure out that you played a roll that you were meant to play....  God has plans for us all, if we don't like em.... well, we have to deal with it....  I hope people hear your story.... kids, teenagers should hear this kinda stuff from people like you and I that have been threw so much.... Our traggedies could save lives....  maybe that was what they were meant for.... who knows???  Sometimes life *****!  I'm feelin pretty bad rite now getting off these roxy's..  So I'm gonna stop here...  you need to get your story out there coralina girl....
Best wishes and lots of luck
                matt
Helpful - 0
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