Found this on someones page.. just sharing it

[kimbo546]

What Is Recovery?

Rebuilding our lives, Restoring ourselves, Picking up the pieces, Healing from the past wounds, Regaining our hope, Obtaining self-respect, Mending broken spirits, Making amends for the spirits we've broken, Reclaiming our right to be, releasing what doesn't belong to us, Raising up what does without fear, Repossessing our minds & our hearts, Repairing broken thoughts & faulty behaviors, Replacing them with thoughts & acts of love, Renewing our faith, our minds, & our bodies, Reviving life within & around us, Realizing that their is good within us, Growing in our ability to feel & express good, Renovating our broken dreams & broken hearts, Increasing our ability to own our own light, Reaching out to lovingly share that light with others.

                                                                   by Donna Newman

[kimbo546]

Thanks quitin.. I went to 3 meetings today and finally at the 3rd I had to share. I feel lately like Im at spiritual warfare, my head is telling me to get loaded but my spirit and heart are telling me not to. This is the first time in 10 years give or take I have been clean for 41 days. The longest Ive ever went was 36 days and then relapsed. I want so bad to get the program this time, I want recovery more than ever. When Im not at a meeting Im usually on here, because as of now thats whats keeping me clean. Im really desperate... I want to learn to live clean no matter what. Thanks for the encouragement, cuz I need it at the moment. ~~~~Kim

[quitinoxys]

Kim--Hang in there the day will come when you say "Hey I feel pretty good today" and then another day and another it just takes time---Peace & Love--quitin

[kimbo546]

Thanks Gnarly, I will for sure keep posting. Well 6 weeks is a whole lot better than 90 days thats for sure!! I will take your advice on the whey protein shakes..I was drinking them and stopped.Its nice to come here and have support and also N/A and a sponsor seem to help out alot. When Im left alone with my own thinking, sometimes I think ya thats a great idea...then I run it by my sponsor or on here, and they call me on my crap! It helps, as addicts our best thinking got us in to alot of trouble! Thanks for your support and knowledge. Love, Kim

[gnarly_1]

HI Kim.....it will get better I just cant tell you when I have never had anyone report back to me
on short term use your the first one...hellc@mst did short term methadone and says it takes
about 6 weeks or so to come around...I read it in on of his posts...at leat it beets 90 days
try not to get discouraged ....you will get better sooner or later ....are you drinking the whey protein shakes....they help 2 a day you can pick it up at walmart for 15 bucks for a 2lb can the chocolate flavor is good and all you do is mix it with milk..it will give you vitamins ecental amino acids as well as protein....everything the brain needs to heal hang in there
post your progress I would like to learn from you so I can help others that go this rout
good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[kimbo546]

Hey gnarly... I have to say this has been by far the hardest detox/wd I have ever been through. I'm ok but get very discouraged at times... Like today's a rough day, I feel so tired from lack of sleep and super achy all the time. I'm just waiting for the morning when I wake up and can say hey I feel good, hasn't happened yet unfortunatly. I wish now I would have never opted for the methadone taper. Then I think to myself what if this is as good as it gets being clean.. That scares me a little. I'm trying to stay positive, get to meetings on a daily basis and I call my sponsor at least once a day. It feels good not to be controlled by any substance, I am greatful for that. I just hope it gets better, like everyone keeps telling me. Have a wonderful day! Kim

[gnarly_1]

HI great post Kim.....btw how are you doing in your recovery has the methadone finely left you alone ?? post for an update to how your doing......Gnarly