Im so FURIOUS again

[troubleinohio]

i hate to vent about this once again but I have no one else i can "scream at" lol.  So ok this morning i posted about the bad weather and that i couldnt find my 5 yr old son's snow boots anywhere (we got almost 5" snow last night). I did end up finding them in a box i packed and brought with us when i left the jackasss a few months ago. Well, they were junk- sole separated and they were too small for him now anyways. So of course i had to buy him new boots today, he cant go to school with wet, freezing feet and suffer all day with them like that. I called the boys' dad and told him about this, and that we really could use some more child support money (we have NOTHING formal set up through the court yet or anything, he just gives me various amounts of cash on no set schedule) Sometimes he gives me plenty enough, other times he doesnt give squat or argues they dont need money for _____. This includes most medicines they need when they are sick. He thinks antibiotics arent necessary unless a limb is falling off from gange green!  ANYHOW i told him that both boys go back to the Dr tomorrow for a follow up and because they are both sickly again (or STILL i should probably say). My 5 yr old's tonsils are SO horribly huge and giving him trouble again today and my 3 yr old still has bad cold symptoms from like 2 weeks ago now.  He said no way is he giving money for that and i should return the new boots if Im so hard up for cash!! WTF???? This enrages me beyond belief. Im not sure what to do about him. I really do hate him.  If i report him for not paying enough support, then he will probably go to jail for tax evasion (he has worked under the table for many years without paying a cent on taxes) and then i will get ZERO money out of him if he's in jail.......ugh I just dont know what to do.  Ive been working low paying, off the wall jobs here and there as I can (did some computer work- billing stuff for a friend's company for a while, a few medical transcription jobs at home again but nothing regular, and then my Ebay stuff but thats it)  I know theres no easy answer here but I just had to vent because this man makes me so insanely furious it feels like my head is going to explode everytime i have to talk to him!!!!!!    btw Im STILL waiting for approval/denial of medicaid for the kids. They say it takes several months and they arent joking.  I dont know how on earth I will manage to pay for this child's tonsillectomy that he needs if we dont get the medical coverage. I feel so helpless , but mostly just MAD....sorry to vent again about this, Im sure you guys are sick of hearing about it    

PS Im really panicking now too about getting supplies before tomorrow night. We are now under a winter storm watch for a MAJOR ICE STORM tomorrow night and Friday. At first they didnt think it would be much of a storm and now they say we will get 3-6" of snow at the start of the storm, then several hours of heavy FREEZING RAIN on top of that, and that widespread power outages are going to be very likely!!! Just what i need! Im so afraid the power will be out for days with no heat!!! My mom is going to help us all out with money again for the immediate time so that we will have plenty enough food/supplies to get us through the storm if it strands us for awhile but Im still freaking out about it all..    

[flmagi]

Do not turn your husband in for tax evasion...you will be turning yourself in as well, along with pissing off an already voilitile man. You don't need that.
I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to get food stamps, medicaid etc. So if thats what you're waiting for, give them a call and tell them to put a rush on it. It shouldn't take more than 6 weeks from the point of application. Hope you've already done this. If not....whats the hold up?
My son used to have ear problems all the time when he was a kid. I had no money and would call the doctors to try to get him in and tell them I could pay them on Friday when I got paid. They would say no, wait til you get paid. I finally got smart and would just make a doctors appointment, get him checked out, prescriptions etc and on the way out, would just say " Sorry, no money til friday. You'll have to bill me". What other choice did they have at that point. lol
Hope the kids feel better. Eventually they'll grow out of this stuff, but it's a b1tch til then.

[LateAugust]

You had a post a few weeks ago about your sick boys  and  I responded with differect agencies available thru  state and federal funding........  if you didn't get a chance to read it "ohio"  I think it was moved the the cold and flu forum.  At any rate  I did give you some area's to look into for tax  and child med's assistance......please check it out if you haven't had a chance to do so yet.  I hope it will provide you with some alternatives.

[troubleinohio]

thnx for all the input. im too depressed and tired to comment on everything right now but will just update- took the kids to the Dr today. LIttle one appears better. 5 yr old's ear is WORSE.  Dr wants him to have a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy, and tubes in his ear. He says his eardrum is BRIGHT BEEF RED and full of fluid =(     He yells at me like its my fault we dont have insurance and says I better get some ASAP because this kid needs surgery. I also had to get a 90$ RX antibiotic today for him and pray it helps his ear and tonsils.  I am totally out of money now and wont even be able to get the kids another single present (i did buy them some gifts already from santa so at least thjey wont do without), but we wont be having a turkey for xmas day like Id' hoped. Oh well, the important thing is he got his medicine. ANd i hate my children's father. Isnt that horrible? I cant stand feeling this way, but i cant help it. I hate him. ANd its consuming me and ruining my holiday season. How do you get past this?

PS if anyone wants to flame me, go ahead. I suppose its just as much my fault as his. But when we decided to have kids, I quit working to raise the kids and be a stay at home mom. That was our agreement and how we wanted things. And yes Im looking for a job which so far has proved to be futile in this economy and crappppy area I live in (toledo)

[NautyOne]

Before I became official........I worked plenty of jobs (cash) that I didn't report.  I've paid my fair share of taxes, and I'd like to see the feds do something about it.....lol.  I'm sure you report all your earning too, right.....lol.

Time to REVOLT.......I had to report "false earnings" a couple of years......Now that's bullpucky.......the feds always get there share........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[lovemypillhead]

u know what i think ur right...

this lady i use to babysit for..............she got hateful with her ex husband...MIND u they were divorced for like 10 years. well, he owns a resturant..so she reported him about taxes,  etc  and they came back on HER too.because thye were married at the time...when these "crimes" were commited. so, she brought herself down too...and had to pay a bunch of money, etc

[allaboutmary]

As far as I know if your married they hold both parties responsible for taxes. The IRS doesn't consider one or the other innocent if you file jointly, or if neither file. So I think your right in being concerned. It's not often that they put you in jail for tax evasion though. They just heap on all kinds of penalties and interest. Your husband could probably find and attorney to get the bill reduced to 25  cents on the dollar.

[lovemypillhead]

As far as child support goes..........couple things:

Any money he send u NOT thru the courts is considered a gift. If he gave a cash/check NOT thru the courts for $10,000...it is a gift. So, honestly-----for HIS protection, he should go thru the courts

Secondly, even if he works under the table...he cna still pay support....that's called casual labor thru CS.  they can attach his wages thru a bank account.  And, child support is seperate from the IRS.   CS isnt going to get him for not paying taxes. It isnt their business and they dont care. All they care about is the child getting taken care of.  Now, he will tell CS  he doesnt have a job where wages can be attached (if he's under the table) then CS will demand he oopen a bank acct to attach that.

Actually, this is all downt he road.

Initially, they will give him the chance to ON HIS OWN send the money in......

[kim715]

You know hon,I'm thinking the same way as Vicuser is in his last paragraph to you.I have many friends who have gone through what you are with your ex and it's so hard to prove the tax evasion stuff.It's not an easy task collecting child support either.If you have family that can help you out with the kids at night,or maybe a neighbor that has kids and you can help each other out and take turns watching each others children,maybe you can find a job somewhere.Even a part time job would help out a little and at least you would know for sure that you you had steady money coming in.I think what your husband is doing in regards to refusing to pay for medical care for your children is terrible.My ex-husband was like that,he's the father of my older 2 children.I stopped even trying to get money out of him,didn't chase the court ordered child support either that was set-up when we went through our divorce.I worked 2 jobs to support my kids,thank God I had the help of my mom and sister to watch the kids for me while I worked.Anyway,my older 2 kids are 21 and 23 now and they have formed their own opinions about their biological father long ago.They call him the 'sperm donor' and call their stepfather dad,because he's the one who supported them emotionally and financially.Don't ever say anything negative about your husband around your children,but trust me kids know,and your husband is the one who will lose out in the end.

[VicUser]

At the risk of sounding like a real SOB, you should turn him in for tax evasion. I as well as many people work hard for our money and pay our fair share of taxes, it is not right that he chooses not to. He has also put you in a bad spot by doing this, I am not a lawyer, but I would get out in front of this and make sure since you was married and living with him that his choice not to file doesn’t come back and bite you as far as tax invasion goes. Doing this may also pave the way for you to get State aid.

Also, are you living with relatives? Do you think you could get them to watch the kiddos maybe late evening, and work at someplace like Wal-Mart or McD’s and get some money and possibly benefits?

[AlessandrasMom]

You know I've read all your posts and I really wish I could um, meet this guy, yeah.  It makes me soooo mad as well, I can only imagine how mad YOU are!  Got my blood boiling, I'll tell ya.  But you did the right thing leaving him.  You have sounded a lot happier lately except for these posts, but you gotta vent to your friends, that's what everybody is here for.
I work for an attorney and I know I'm in Michigan and the laws are different in Ohio, but I could try and find out the tax thing/child support thing/jail thing, if you want me to.  Let me know.  Have you talked to an attorney just to find out the legalities of this?  Hang in there.
We got that big snow storm coming!!!

[troubleinohio]

thanks Mary for hearing me out, LOL. Im still so mad this morning. I hardly slept at all last night, I was fuming the entire night.

[allaboutmary]

Hang in there girl !   You did the right thing leaving him.  Hopefully the Medicaid will come through soon.