First, take a deep breath! In.....out!
You can do this, you are doing great, keep it up. I have watched your posts the last few days and you are helping/supporting alot of people, so give yourself a pat on the back for that. I am glad you are going to N/A. Do you have a sponsor? Someone you can call and talk with/through the triggers? I would be lost without my sponsor. I am proud you gave your phone up for the evening, that is great! Now you know what Gnarly means when he posts that this battle is won or lost in our minds. The mental part of this disease is so hard sometimes.
How bad were your withdrawals? The thing that keeps me straight early on is remembering the pain of ct withdrawals. I know from experience that when that pain dims, I am in trouble. You sound very strong in your conviction to not use, and you know after the last 8 days that you can go without. I am pulling for you! God Bless!
Can you block the dealers number and going to the gym sounds like a GREAT idea, and that's what kept me clean for over two years and still helps to this day almost three years later. One cautionary note about the gym...don't get injured again bad where you need to use pain meds again. Sure you're wiser but the wds can still happen...going through that now again.
Delete the dealers number. That way he can't text you.
And about the meetings..while it is great to go and listen, it is a fellowship, a support group. It is a program of twelve steps that can help you to stay clean. I think you would have a better shot if you got involved. You talk about being bored and don't know what to do with yourself. Make new friends at the meetings, get involved. Make coffee. Getting humble is very rewarding.
some might not agree but sometimes you just got to 1 ignore the call or pick it up and tell them i quit don't call me about them no more , so if you want the calls to stop have your number changed most carriers will do this for free just lie and tell them your getting excessive prank calls and it hasn't stopped in like 5-6 days they'll change it for nothing then make sure not to give it to anyone who could pass it along to the devil dealers that's about the only way, one of those, cause getting it threw up in your face with calls ain't gonna help the situation u know well hope this helps you out..jeff..
Thanks everyone. You guys rock. Alot of wise people here
to IBKleen. No I dont have a sponser. I know, I know, Im not doing what I should. I have to get over the feeling like Ill just be a purdon on someone. I know they want to help and it will actually help my sponser out as well.
to jeffclowns Im really thinking about changing my number. I know all the dealers number by heart so I dont think blocking them will work. Plus Ive used it as my business phone for years and get alot of calls about it.
Im back from the gym. I go with my dad and he knows whats up. I told him about the dealer and the texts I continue to get. He wanted to call him up and threaten him. I should let um but me being an addict is MY problem. Ive always pointed my finger at others for my problem. Its my problem. I have to find the strength. Its so nice that when I do get weak I have you all.Ill keep posting and when the two week mark comes I know I dont have to face it alone. I will get past it with you all helping me.