Hydrocodone 10/500 for several years now.

[aTtHeEnD]

Here we go again! I have been down this road many times already. Trying to get off this medication is almost hell in of it's self. Here's my story....I need all the help I can get right not - especially support from those here I think, I know.

I have been on Hydrocodone 10/500 for several years now. At 1st took them as prescribed and maintained level of intake for some time that way. Like most here, when the pain was gone the pills just kept getting taken. Then moved on to taking double, ya know cause it was not just doing the job with prescribed amount. So it started! 1st it would take 2 weeks to go thru 90 10/500, then down to 90 in about 5 days...Keeping in mind this took place over the past few years.Last week I got the 90 and realized they were being gone in that many days - REALLY opened my eyes that time I think. Anyway, In the time waiting to get refills I would pay to get them off the street at four bucks a pop and my intake level - it was getting ugly ugly. The past few weeks though I have been getting tired early, loss of appetite and so on - almost like I was already withdrawling - yet I was still taking them "weird" Yesterday, woke up still had about 11 and took last one last night at 1045 (ya I remember) Here is the thing, i WANT OUT of this hell! I hate spending the money, looking for them, the problems physically, mentally and so on. TIRED OF IT. I sit here this morning taking the only day off I can take this week, and its not even been 24hrs yet. I can only sit and wait for the WD's to kick in. Scares the tarnation out of me to be honest. I have told no one but you folks there - It's ALL i can tell. I can prob tell my Dr. though if needed. I have had calls the past few days asking me do I want more, and never returned call or text - I guess knowing I'm sick of it, I mean really really sick of it. I want to be me again, If I even know who that person is - it's been so damn long. Kinda scares me too really.
In the end (JUST FIGURED IT OUT) i took almost 18 daily. I knew too tho at time. Didnt want to fush them, so just banged them out - knowing I would deal with this day - Today. I would like some advise, maybe inspiration of some kind. Things I can take to ease the pain of WD's - Anything I get would be heaven sent really. I have no one to count on here, that I can tell right now. I have to work tomorrow so - Help

I really want out of this mess, mentally I think it's time
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entering day 2, called off work again (so not good) had to lie why was wrong. Couldnt sleep all night, chills, huge cravings. Guy I get from called last night and I didnt answer. Hopefully that will be true again today. I'm scared - I want me back so much. Yet this feels like death~ felt like crawling out of my own skin last night and this morning, no appetite at all. Holy **** Im only IN DAY 2 and the start of it. What a long haul this has been already. I think with more support I may actually do this. I hope. thanks for reading..no one knows about this but you and me so my support here at home is my pc

[aTtHeEnD]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I need them, I really need them right now. Lying to job badly just to cover the 1st few days. I guess my reasoning is. My health is more important than any job. However, My son and my mother rely on my income so I have to be careful. Yet I also know I have to be clean in order to be there for them, and the rest of my family. I'm taking it one hour at a time which is the worse ever. I have to beat this - I know 2 people who died taking this kind of medicine, yet here I am. I should have known better, makes me sad. Anyway, Ill be here writing, reading -- anything really. My legs feel like they should be peddling a bike - I want out of my skin most moments right now. THank you, thank u to everyone who cares, to everyone who has been there or will be there next. I'll be back - sober, but back,

[13093]

Hi,  

I am at day 20 now,  basically same story ( although pain still a problem but rehabing)  I am off work for so I did ct w/d without that pressure-I don't know how I could have worked until about day 6-7
Sleep was a major problem,  I finally solved it w/nyquil which I still rely on...(not a great solution, I know..)
If I can do it anyone can....It does feel like an at home exorcism...SO worth it.  I really thought that I could contol it in the first few years, but ultimatly the drug controlled me.  
I got some high protein Jamba juice which helped after the first few days...
Most helpful: lomotil, motrin, tea (lots of hot peppermint tea w/honey), hot baths,  chicken noodle soup, my husbands shoulder to cry on, a couple of valium and xanax the first several days
I started on zoloft also as I know that I was self medicating w/the lortab and I had been on it before.  
Good luck!!!
S.

[aTtHeEnD]

Thank you I will keep you (all posted thru the day) it will help me, and maybe others if it's documented, like a Internet-mentary, heh. God this is not good. Head down and plow through I guess is the only answer in the ct way. Whew

Thank you so much for caring - I need it!

[aTtHeEnD]

thanks, i hope so. gonna get some today. Im off today so hopefully it wont get too much worse, but better. damn this is not an easy accomplishment is it. How are you doing Mojo?