16 DAYS! FEELING GOOD

[azulito]

Hello All,
I have been posting on here for a couple weeks but it has been 9 days since my last post. I have a bad addiction to oxycodone 30 mg pills doing 8-10 of them a day. Today is day 16 and I feel great. I still feel a little twisted in my stomach but the restless legs stopped around day 6.
What a habit to kick and I know withdraw/detox is the easy part. the hard part is not doing them ever again. Today, I cant help but feel lucky. My life is in turmoil and the woman who raised me (grandma) is dying of brain cancer. I found out she was sick on day 2.
I feel lucky because my grandmother got to see me clean for the first time in a long time and im not masking my hurt with drugs anymore. her illness couldn't have lined up more with my recovery. On her deathbed in a hospice she has brought my whole family together and I am grateful for that. I haven't seen my Dad in four years and yesterday we made amends.
Today is day 16 and today is about the positives in life. I'm clean, healthy and I'm here. I want to stay this way. Sure, I think about getting high probably 100 times a day, but I think about staying clean every second of the day. I go to my meetings and everyone is so happy when they see me come back every day. the old timers hug me and congratulate me on sobriety. I feel good today and if you yourself are on day 2 or 3, I promise you it gets easier and that you will heal.
Losing Grandma isn't my choice, Losing my sobriety is my choice.
Thank you for reading

[lulu747]

Wow your post brought tears to my eyes.  Words cannot describe how proud of you I am.  I am so so sorry about your Grandmother, but I am beyond thrilled at your mind set, your determination, and about the discoveries you have made about yourself in this process.

You must just keep walking this path.  Step up the support whenever you feel that spinning in your head.  I agree that your last statement is profound.
The fact of the matter is, we have NO control over what happens in life- all we have is the power of our choices.  Keep making these brave choices and your life will open up in ways you never thought possible.
Sending big hugs and wishing you peace....
Lu

[miamichick86]

I am very happy for you. You are truely an inspriation. I can't wait until I feel better myself.

[clean_in_ks]

So glad you came back and posted!  Congrats on 16 DAYS!!!

Reading your post really tugged at my heart strings.  Your grandma getting to see you CLEAN....oh my!  What a gift you gave her.  And making amends with your DAD after not seeing him for 4 years?  Glorious!

I'm so glad you are doing this NOW....you have your WHOLE life ahead of you.  Also happy to hear you are going to meetings and learning about STAYING clean.  Hopefully, you have changed your playmates....AND your playgrounds...and cut off your sources.  

Hope you'll keep posting and give us updates.....not to mention post here on the forum to all the newcomers that so need to hear it can be done~
Your last sentence is PROFOUND:

"Losing Grandma isn't my choice, Losing my sobriety is my choice."

  

[tiredofthetabs72]

OMG! What a great post, I am at 41hrs, last night was pretty bad, but just knowing here in a couple of days things will get better helps a lot. 16 days is awesome. Sorry about your Grandma, my prayers go out to you and your family!!!!