72 hours clean off oxy and i caved:(

[zagmar3631]

hello,
i made it just shy of 72 hours ct off a 150mg a day oxy habit. i just couldnt take it anymore and i caved. i bought some oxy 3 hours ago and have been snorting it since. of course physically i feel better, but emotionally im a mess. i made it that far and i am so weak. i just want to apologize to the few people that gave me encouraging words when i was at the 48 hour mark. i feel like i let those people down but especially i let myself down. why cant i get off there little pills we call oxy?? its hard to fathom that something so small can ruin so many lives. i just needed to vent this and i apologize to all!!! thanks for listening to my rant. i will beat this...just not today:(

zagmar

[NautyOne]

Its ok, as addicts many experience bumps in the road, but just pull yourself back on the horse and don't beat yourself .....You can do this!!

Please keep posting.  There is so much wonderful support and people to help.  

God Bless,
Nauty.............

[worried878]

u could use sub for 3 weeks...but when u quit the sub..where would u be?  right back where u r now.....u gotta want it..be sick and tired of being sick and tired...sub wont keep u clean..will help u skip wds and then u r were u r ....still wanting narcotics...u would be a high risk sub candidate..u r not ready to quit then a doctor is gonna throw u bu11 loads of sub...stronget than ur doc..it will be easy to just stay on them...u may like them better than ur doc...people who r not really ready to quit can get into deep doo doo on sub

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Controversial topic. My personal feeling is that sub is a tool to use for a short time frame. It is not a maintenance drug like methadone. Optimum use of sub would be for less than 3 weeks......and use it to get off your DOC. Along with some form of therapy or NA ---

[laurel453]

you will find the will and the strengh, everythng has   its tempo too but  you've  started the journey and it's a long ride.

recover yourself mentally and keep quitting, that would be the only defeat for you: if you give up, Be proud of yourself, yeah, and keep quitting.

[zagmar3631]

thanks so much for your words...it does make me feel a little bit better that you guys understand where i am coming from. i guess i havent hit "rock bottom" yet. i thought i had, and i really dont want to be a slave to these pills anymore, but i just didnt have the will power. i felt so immensely uncomfortable while i was off the oxy that i just couldn take it any more. i am looking into taking sub to get me thru my next "try". i found 3 doctors within 20 miles of where i live that can prescribe it. will the sub make things worse in the long haul because then i have to detox from that...right? or is quitting without the sub more beneficial? thanks,

zagmar

[worried878]

just wasnt the time for u...emotionally this doesnt make u feel very well at all i would imagine and it will sink in when it is ur time to quit.....if it is not ur time and u dont really want it then it is not gonna happen...but it is a process getting to the point where u are ready and is usually not the first time u try..it just wont be "fun" anymore and u will throw in the towel and let them go...u will get tired of doing something and spending money on something that makes u feel bad..everyone has a different "bottom" they must reach before they r ready to let go...u r just not quite there yet...but u will be..soon

[learning2befree]

I know the feeling making those first horrible days and then throwing a huge wrench in it does take its toll on you in every way but emotionally the worst you feel like a failure that will never change no matter your desire to, or the agony you endure to try everytime but that all comes with this disease and every attempt will make you stronger your life is worth more than that tiny pill and you can do this!!! everyone makes mistakes, try not to dwell that will lead you to being very depressed which wont help anything you should be PROUD of yourself for those 72hrs they meant alot! good luck and best wishes keep posting you did let us down we know how it is

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

You have some good advice here. I cant do much but second it. Everybody here knows about relapses and multiple attempts to quit a DOC....just keep quiting. Next time you will make it longer. Just do not stop quiting -----

[bravobreeseff]

It takes time. And it may take failed attempts. But its possible, dont beat yourself up just yet. I have screwed up my w/ding more times than i can count, only making it a day or two or three. this time i am at day 6. my DOC is heroin which is very similar to oxy so believe me i know what you are going through and why you went back on. I felt better yesterday. I have obstacles. I want to use. I miss my drug. I miss the process of preparing it.

But i missed being sober more.
Start focusing on that. Start focusing on how great being sober feels (soooo good!) Because a couple days ago you couldnt say anything to convince me that the pain would ever end.

But I sit here today and I am free and I am happy and I feel good in my mind. My body may still ache and the last little symptoms may still linger but they are very bearable.


I dont know how you get the pills whether it be prescription or dealers, but my advice is to delete these numbers that keep you connected to it. DONT THINK ABOUT IT JUST DO IT. Just delete them. Get rid of it. Make it impossible for yourself to get ahold of it. I had a friend take the battery out of my phone and keep it. and each day I figeted and needed that phone to get a hit. but i didnt have a way. Keep in mind that sobriety can feel even better than those pills. You want that.

Good luck and hope you re-attempt soon.

[onalongride]

i am 24days off oxys after 5 days you will feel better. think of all the moey you will save ad YOUR LIFE.