Thank you. I've got my heating pad right here next to me. Showering, time outside, and time that I'm forced to act normal and get out of bed press me forward. Tomorrow begins a new week and I hope it's just busy enough to keep me distracted. Healing from detox hell will bring you closer to God. Let's hope he keeps an eye on me and I don't get lost.
Thank you, thank you. You sound brave and resolved going to see an addiction specialist tomorrow! The secrets are what get us. Thank god you are one day ahead of me, it inspires me to see it through tomorrow. I think I'm going to tell my best friend tomorrow too. I need to get out of this tower of lies and hiding. Thank you all so much for seeing more than just an addict trying to change her life
Oh yeah PSS...I am so exhausted too - just keep pushing, right? ~from sleepless in nj
Katya that is awesome - you can't go wrong by adding a little more cuteness in your life!...I'm on day nine...just posted that it was a pretty rough one (weird bc yesterday was so nice!) So proud that u have meetings set up...that shows that you are focused on recovering the right way.
I have my first apt with an addiction therapist tmrw...someone needs to set my a$$ straight.
PS- those who are kind to animals always have good karma ;)
It means everything to me that you all have responded. I got through the tough hours of a Sunday afternoon (been lonely and heartbroken from a break up). I adopted a kitten with my son yesterday, and the little guy is really soothing. I'm up to caring for the little guy, it focuses some of my attention and energy when my son is not with me. I know this may not be the time to take on more dependents, but I feel like it's distracting and I have a reason to get up and provide fresh food and water, introduce the kitty to the world. Clearly I'm identifying with the tiny guy in needing love, caring, and protection from the hard realities of life. I'm a good mom, dog and now new kitten owner. I just wish it wasn't such a task to climb the stairs. I'm doing it though! I will hang on with this sobriety. I'm needing to get a good life together. Just for today.......right? One day at a time. I already have two meetings to choose from tomorrow. I am grateful for making it 8 days. I prayed today, please let me continue to heal. Thank you all for your thoughts.
Welcome to you.! I also had gotten up to 20-30 hydro 10's and other pills, too. I cut back to 10 pills and then needed some help. I think in hindsight I would have saved a lot of time and money to continue the w/d's at home!
I am 65 days clean and still very, very tired. I talk fast and laugh again, and get mad again, and my eyes are clear, and my face isn't drawn down from dope! My husband is feeling guilty about enabling me anymore; he was hoping he'd live long enough to see me off lortabs!
Even at that point I am at....I have days where I think the very same thing.
Will I ever be whole again? Will I ever be the same? I do feel overwhelmed and wonder if my tired body will make it that long. But we are so resilient! And have Amazing bodies that heal themselves.
I have to say that about every 10 minutes, ha!
Kyle's comment: BABY STEPS is a good one. Think I'll write on all my mirrors with old lipstick.....yeah....that's what I'll do! See, my sense of humor is coming back, too. Write down each day the teeny, weeny things you notice diff about yourself....I log it each day when I read my meditations. The legs bugged me a lot. I tried to get warm from the chills by laying on a full size (long) hot pad. It helped a lot, As good or better than a man when you are w/drg, ha! Comfort is what we seek. God provides lots of natural ways to find comfort. We just have to learn.....when our minds CAN learn and aren't full of opiates!
Turn that hopeless feeling into victorious!!! YOUR doing so very well. Have you tried a good protien shake and getting plenty of lean protein? Tennis is a great diversion. Once on the court your mind will not think about the pills or low energy. Each day you check off will bring you closer to your prepill self. Day nine was a turnaround day for me....swear.
You have just endured the hell of detox, something that no one can understand or appreciate unless they've done it themselves. And considering the amount of your daily Norco intake I can imagine that the detox really was hell. You did it...Now the question, can you wait to feel more whole? Well, don't you already? I mean, look back 8 days - you have made awesome progress.
You will start feeling better within the next few days...baby steps. But keep in mind that even though you're clean you will still have bad days mixed in with the good. The weekends were always the hardest for me because I wasn't at work and thus my mind had plenty of time to talk to me about pills.
I was taking 10 Norco a day (half of what you were popping) for almost three years. I know what my withdrawal was like...You are my hero