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16 days and aftercare question
Hi All,
Every time I go to a meeting I get asked if I've worked the steps or have a sponsor by someone. I am struggling with this whole (get a sponsor/higher power) thing. I can't quite put my finger on it. I like being around others that I can relate to that either are or have been through where I am at with substance abuse, just not sure if I am ready/willing/able to do the sponsor thing? It kind of freaks me out.
Thoughts???
Every time I go to a meeting I get asked if I've worked the steps or have a sponsor by someone. I am struggling with this whole (get a sponsor/higher power) thing. I can't quite put my finger on it. I like being around others that I can relate to that either are or have been through where I am at with substance abuse, just not sure if I am ready/willing/able to do the sponsor thing? It kind of freaks me out.
Thoughts???
Best Answer
I tried NA, and just could not get with the steps and sponsor thing. Now, let me be clear that I think it is wonderful and does great good for those that connect with it.
I do my aftercare in a variety of ways, therapist, this website, and my family holding me accountable.
Bryan
I do my aftercare in a variety of ways, therapist, this website, and my family holding me accountable.
Bryan
OMG, I understand that, and the calling thing is SO wierd for me! All of this is outside of my comfort zone but I am forcing myself! My sponsor is making me call her every day that I am away from home so I called her today, I also called another girl who gave me her number last night AND I went to lunch with a group of women (one of them I gave my number too yesterday) and I had a great time. Let me just tell you that ALLLLLL of these things I did today, made me so nervous and uncomfortable but I am SO glad I did it! These women kept me sober today and Thats all I can ask for.
Get numbers and get a sponsor honey! The fellowship will be there for you in more ways than you can imagine! I am such a believer now!
Get numbers and get a sponsor honey! The fellowship will be there for you in more ways than you can imagine! I am such a believer now!
Thank you Teresa...that IS exactly what I needed to hear. I know you have been struggling yourself, so coming from you, it means a lot. It's a huge step for me to admit I can't do this on my own and I am making baby steps. Or at least I think I am. I hate this white knuckling feeling of just hanging on. I want to do the next right thing, I guess I'm just scared to let go and let god, as they say. I AM going to a woman's group tomorrow after work. I usually don't go to after work meetings because by the time I get off work and get home, I don't have time or money to drive back into town. But tomorrow I will be in town anyways, so I'm actually looking forward to it. So many women having been encouraging me to come to this meeting and they have given me their numbers already. I haven't yet called anyone...makes me feel kind of weird calling a stranger to ask them to save me from myself...LOL! :)
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As you and most people here know, I have been struggling lately. Have had alot of things weighing on me and I have come EXTREMELY close to a full on relapse. I had been going to meeting alot over the last couple of weeks or so and tried 1 time (probably half assed) at getting a sponsor but she didnt work out. So anyways, yesterday, My therapist laid into me. She told me and I quote "if youre not going to take your recovery serious and do whatever it takes to stay clean, then stop wasting everyones time" This hit me like a ton of bricks!! And honestly, My initial reaction was I was pissed off! But as Dominosarah and IBK have pointed out to me, If im pissed its because it hit a nerve. And it did!
So I left there, went to a meeting and for the first time I spoke up at the meeting. I told them I was 65 days clean, but that Im failing at this miserably and I need to make sober friends and I need someone to help guide me (a sponsor)...The outpouring from everyone was amazing! And Not only did I get alot of numbers, I also got a sponsor! She is going to make me be accountable now to her and not just myself. Being accountable to just myself has gotten me to relapse over and over again. She will guide me to how to work the program and how to STAY clean. She will be tough but I need someone to call me out on my BS
Sorry this is long, but I felt I needed to share my stroy because it really shows the progression of my thought process of how I felt before (which was like you) to now. I know without a doubt I cant do this without a sponsor, and I dont believe most can.
I am blessed to have the people I have on my team who are going to get me through this. I hope you will get a sponsor and let someone else be there to help you and lift you up when you need it! When you find the right one, you wont regret it!