A BIG OOPS. . . I am a terrible person

[meg52080]

Just had a major oops.  Here I was on day 4 of cold turkey and not doing TOO bad.  My sister stopped by to wish me a happy belated birthday and noticed that I wasn't "feeling good".  She asked what was wrong and I told her that I had a little bug and was just feeling rundown, tired and achy.  She then offered me 5 (10mg) Norco to take if and when I needed them (I didn't even know that she TOOK anything like that).  Of course, being the WEAK-MINDED and STUPID person that I am, I took them and downed all of them right in front of her.  She looked at me like I was mental (wouldn't you?).  After she left, I felt SOOO bad, I went into the bathroom to try and make myself sick, but couldn't.  I called her and told her EVERYTHING that was going on with me (addiction, w/d's). She said that she wouldn't have gave them to me had she known (duh?).  Maybe this is a blessing in disguise? Now someone is in on my "secret addiction".  WHY am I such an IDIOT?  How come I am unable to say no?  What the **** is wrong w/ me that I can't say a simple NO?  What a ******* *******. . .now I am back to square one. . .tomorrow will be day ONE all over again.  Has this happened to anyone? Or am I alone in feeling like a completer LOSER. . . Please don't think too much less of me. . .

[CadillacJack]

dial-a-punch ain't free, but i got a few bucks.

cj

[meg52080]

addictedme: where is after-care free? i don't know of anywhere that hands out free anything to anybody - i guess i haven't researched it thoroughly enough.

cadillac: thank you for your humor (it is a virtue that i don't have nearly often enough), i know i need to get over it, i just was doing so well all things considered.

[dnsmommy]

hey girly, you are NOT a loser, go back to my first post on here, that was what my post was entitled.  I am still in a relapse trying to get the knowledge and strength to really quit and feel incredibly guilty and shameful but am truly trying to work through the issues as to why I use, besides chronic pain.  Use me as a lesson and don't take anymore! You can do this, you ARE doing this and like so many people responded to me at the time it is just a bump in the road.  I wish that I had the courage to let someone, anyone know about "my little secret" and I definately think that is to your benefit.  I have been gaining strength from you even though you don't know it, we have alot of similarities.  Just pick yourself up and carry on :)

[cubfan70]

Please don't beat yourself up. You have to be stronger than GOD to be able to beat an addiction by yourself, and NOBODY is that strong! I was sober for 3 years with the help of an inpatient detox program, then I relapsed. Please try and get as much support as you can, and forget today when tomorrow comes. ONE DAY AT A TIME! I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts! Let me know if you need anything!

[Brrrrad]

If you can let more people know if you feel ok w/ that,it will help you be more accountable. I sure have a hard time saying no also,when it comes to this so you are not alone,I think that is one thing we all here have in common. Just keep posting everyone will walk you through.  we are all w/ you

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Meg - not only has that happenned to someone....it has probably happenned to about everyone here....we used to have a saying...aint no big thing - just drive on. Its a learning experience - just use it that way......you can do this -