A BIG OOPS. . . I am a terrible person

[meg52080]

Just had a major oops.  Here I was on day 4 of cold turkey and not doing TOO bad.  My sister stopped by to wish me a happy belated birthday and noticed that I wasn't "feeling good".  She asked what was wrong and I told her that I had a little bug and was just feeling rundown, tired and achy.  She then offered me 5 (10mg) Norco to take if and when I needed them (I didn't even know that she TOOK anything like that).  Of course, being the WEAK-MINDED and STUPID person that I am, I took them and downed all of them right in front of her.  She looked at me like I was mental (wouldn't you?).  After she left, I felt SOOO bad, I went into the bathroom to try and make myself sick, but couldn't.  I called her and told her EVERYTHING that was going on with me (addiction, w/d's). She said that she wouldn't have gave them to me had she known (duh?).  Maybe this is a blessing in disguise? Now someone is in on my "secret addiction".  WHY am I such an IDIOT?  How come I am unable to say no?  What the **** is wrong w/ me that I can't say a simple NO?  What a ******* *******. . .now I am back to square one. . .tomorrow will be day ONE all over again.  Has this happened to anyone? Or am I alone in feeling like a completer LOSER. . . Please don't think too much less of me. . .

[worried878]

I think they were speaking of NA and AA...both are free....it seems people are under the assumption that u have to pay to go to the meetings and u do not...there is an NA website and phone number to find a meeting near u...they are all over the place...my city is not very big and they have meetings somewhaere at every time of every day here...some around the corner from me
as far as slamming the 5 pills....well u screwed up...but it is not the end of ur plan...it is actually part of the process and in a way it makes u understand ur addiction and how it overtakes the brain and makes us....kinda stupid and stuff...and in a way this is positive cos now ur sister can help u and be there for u...just get back on track....easier said than done but go back to ur plan

[narkz]

don't go turkey. turkey sucks even for a chipper. taper. i know the feeling, you get off for a bit and then there they are. taking another one SOLVES the godawful pain of w/d

so you took some, now you have to start again.  everyone has been down this road

[virgo1969]

Just move forward from here. You have been doing great and you can keep it up. Don't let this hiccup deter you from your goal of recovery. I can speak for myself in saying that I have done the same thing as you. Heck, if someone offered me some vic's right now I would have to damn near chop off my hand to keep from accepting them.  I'm almost 4 months clean but there are those days.

Don't beat yourself up. Just pick yourself up and keep on keeping on.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Meg - not only has that happenned to someone....it has probably happenned to about everyone here....we used to have a saying...aint no big thing - just drive on. Its a learning experience - just use it that way......you can do this -

[Brrrrad]

If you can let more people know if you feel ok w/ that,it will help you be more accountable. I sure have a hard time saying no also,when it comes to this so you are not alone,I think that is one thing we all here have in common. Just keep posting everyone will walk you through.  we are all w/ you

[cubfan70]

Please don't beat yourself up. You have to be stronger than GOD to be able to beat an addiction by yourself, and NOBODY is that strong! I was sober for 3 years with the help of an inpatient detox program, then I relapsed. Please try and get as much support as you can, and forget today when tomorrow comes. ONE DAY AT A TIME! I'll keep you in my prayers and thoughts! Let me know if you need anything!