Another Day

[amity_76]

Well it's another day, went to job interview, very intense not sure if I will get it or not, so keeping fingers crossed. Now home ,and just trying to not over due the  meds, im making some calls to a doctor that can hopefully help, spent first night on my own, hubby came bk for his pit stick lol, didnt have to much to say. I know he is part of the reason I abuse my meds, so I need some me time and to really think. I have taken some but trying not to over do it, feeling very very lonely and down, dont know what this future of mine will bring....lost , down and very loneley today................

[jerry4664]

Hi, The "rope" comment is really bad and if something like that crosses your mind think of your kids and get your mind on some positive action I know because years ago I had the same issue.... I have read some of your past posts and your husband seems to be a problem with you  because he cant understand your problem and may never so dwelling on that is not helping you take one thing at a time.  I have had more tahn my share of problems with opiates and I think this time I have the guts to do it and I think that you do also so try this it could work take all the pills and either flush them and go cold turkey b ut you have to be one bad MF for that trust me the other way is taper your usage it is the best and no matter what happens stick to the amount you set for yourself and it will work remember you did not start taking the amount to take now so you have to backwards slowly also...... and go outside and get busy keep your mind going because if youi slow down and hang out inside the house 10-15 feet away from your problem its like a drunk hanging infront of a bar not a good idea  ...... You can do it be strong !

[ang_811]

u need to start thinking positive i know its hard right now with everything goin on, u need to learn to let go and let God. if u want ur life back u have to put the pills down. once u do that u can then start focussing on urself and making urself better both mentally and physicaally. u will start to see there is life after the pills. good things will start happening to u....when i was on pills i was sad most of the time bc i didnt think id ever amount to anything. i felt worthless and was full of guilt for many reasons. i felt alone and felt like a failure. i was a lost cause for a few years. here i am today clean and sober and every time i remeber where i came from and what my life was once like it still blows my mind to know im now living my life clean. i cant even tell u how good it feels. i wish u all the luck n the world. keep posting for support.

[Ballgame]

I'm sure it's easy to blame hubby but the issue is with you, not him.  Because you are responsible for your own actions.  He might make you crazy and you deal with it through meds.  But focus on yourself and don't place too much blame on him when addressing your addiction

[Cissy373]

No need to be sorry and girl keep posting...........keep yourself and mind busy thats the key.

You need to flush those pills and don't get anymore I know that is a hard thing to do, but you can do this!!!!!

Do you have anyone you can talk to, someone that does not use pills? Can you go to a AA/NA meeting trust me they help.

Praying for you hon.

Cissy

[amity_76]

ty Cissy, im in tears im barely holding on, i dont want no more F in pills today and im in tears omfggggggggggggg I dont think I will ever amount to nothing Im a failure I have slipped into this dark place and that rope is looking like the only way out, sorry just being as honest as it gets,....dammmmmmmmm

[Cissy373]

I know I am early into this being clean but I wish you could realize your worth so much more than a darn pill.

This hubby sounds to me like your reason for using and who needs that?? Please realize your more than those pills, and I know your going through a rough time right now with the bills and trying to find a job, but truly the pills won't help a thing.

Cissy