Should I turn my heroin addicted daughter into the police?

[kej57]

I don't know wht else to do!! I found out 2 yrs ago this summer that my, now, 25 yr old daughter is a heroin addict. It began with "experimenting" with oxy, and that lead to heroin. I live in anohter state, and have flown to where she lives numerous time to try to give "tough love".. I took away the car I bought her (for college), I called the police on her because one day I found out (from my youngest daughter) taht she was driving while high/drunk...etc..etc..My daughter's father has been 100% enabling her: lieing ot the police, paying for her apartment, car, car insurance, utilities, food, anad college classes (that she never attended). I have called him numersous times, begging him to do an Intervention with me and her two sisters..he hangs up on me and refuses to confront her as "he doesn't want her to hate him". (When I turned her into the police for driving while high and drunk, the last words I have heard from her mouth was:" I hate you and wish you would die, and if you died tomorrow, I wouldn't go to your funeral" and that was August of 2009)...

I don't know what else to do!! She will only speak to her younger sister. Last Dec. (2009) she went to detox. the
"plan" was that her father will take her to rehab immediately after detox..Her enabling father did a "180" and allowed her to go back to her apartment. thus, back to heroin...

Most recently, my younger daughter told me that she had heard my heroin addicted daughter has turned to prostitution to pay for her drugs..and my addicted daughter "was" a wonderful, happy, healthy, college student who played 2 years of college volleyball!! Now she is a heroin addict and a prostitute!! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN??

Just this last Feb. (2010) she was arrested for shoplifting. They searched her bag and found heroin. I contacted the prosecuting DA. We had a couple of great conversations. The DA was extremely helpful, and even spoke to her aobut her future after the hearing!! I sent a 3 page letter BEGGING that the court sentence her to a jail term with court ordered  detox and rehab...she only received "probation", as they had to  follow the law pertaining to "first offenders"..

My daughter needs help!! No one will help me, help her, except her younger sister.

Plus, I live in another state, which makes it more difficult trying to help "long distance".

Her father will NOT do "tough love" and, as mentioned, "covers up for her"..even when he found out she was prostituting herself out, his statement to my younger daughter was, "well..at least she is paying for her own things a little"..Her "father" should be jailed, too!!!

Should I call the police and inform them that there is illegal drug use going on in her apartment? I feel that this will be the only way to save her life!! At least in jail, she can "detox" and perhaps see "normally" and decide to go to rehab!! Right now, she is seeing the world through "heroin haze" and does not want help..

What should I do??

[Rich99]

"he doesn't want her to hate him"""    He sure is enabling her if what you say is the truth.     She will not live much longer if she does not get back into detox and forced to do rehab as well.    Jail is not the answer since they do not provide the medical necessities and environment.     But maybe they will force her into a local facility.

She is shoplifting and prosituting to make money to support her deadly addiction.    This is life threatening and she needs intervention ASAP.

[leighanne143]

you have to do what your heart tells you.  if you think it is the only thing that will help her then by all means call.  even if they dont send her to jaill, they may mandate her to an actual program to get help.

[liscamdave]

Wow, looks like the dad needs some help to. Well, here is the thing. What is it you are turning her in for? Doing heroin? I guess you could, but you also have no clue what her sentence would be. You want her jailed and then forced to go to detox/rehab? Correct? Well, here's the thing with addiction, most addicts need to hit a rock bottom for them to want to stop. Key words in that sentence, them to want. See, the decision has to be theirs. No matter what you, or your husband or any judge say to your daughter, the fact of the matter is she will continue down this road until she herself is ready to stop. now, maybe if she is going to go to jail that will smack some sense into her. Heroin is a demon drug. It changes everything about you. Your daughter is not in there anymore. And until she is clean and sober for a period of time, she won't be. But it can be done. I have seen worse cases turn around. So there is hope. She does need help. Has she ever said she wants to get clean, ever? My heart goes out to you, it truly does. I don't know about the turning her in thing. Since she may find out it was you and cut all ties completely. However, maybe if you do that she will know you are NOT condoning this and you won't be there to help her unless she wants the help you are able to give her. I will pray for you and your daughter and hope that things will get better for you both.

[sickofit586]

I feel for you,We are going on saturday to a doc. that gives out methadone.Now most people think that this is just trading one for the other.But it does work when nothing else works.I think it might be her chance to get a life.Sound to be that its got her bad and she will DIE,if she keeps this up.Methadone can work and I will be able to tell you more this time next week.You have to do what you think is right,NO body wants to be in jail goin though W/D.You should try to get her to think about Methadone,They say its a 80% success rate.I know I would do anything to keep my child of the damm streets.Especially if she is selling her body for drugs and doesn't want to stop.I really feel for you.I am a drug addict and I have been trying now for about 6 mons to get sober and finnally we said the hell with this and are going to give the methadone treatment a try.alot of poeple don't think that this is the way but when you have tried evrything else.My wife is a drug addict to,Thats why I said both of us are doing this.You or someone talk to her about hte methadone.It will keep her from getting sick and that is the problem,she likes the high but now its the sick part that she hates and that is why she will do anything to get it.I am only saying this because I know all about the sick part,its bad bad.I wish you luck and I will tell you next week how thing are going with us.Get her into the program if you have tried everything else  God bess you and the Kid

[sway1]

my father, bless his soul, kidnapped me, locked me in a room in his house for about 3 days then dragged me to detox, picked me up from there and drove me to a long term rehab facility. i was broke and was there as an indigent. i could've left at any time. he sent my 2 daughters to stay with my sister in a state halfway across the country. the people i loved basically took over for me when i could no longer manage my own life. i was a heroin shooting, crack smoking fiend and was stealing, robbing, whatever! i stayed until released 10 1/2 months later. i had taken care of all my legal troubles, i had a job and was saving every penny so that when i got my kids back we could have a decent life. i moved to another state, got a job, rented a house. but i stopped going to meetings. slowly but surely i wound up strung out again.
the addict has to want to be clean every single day. and work just as hard at staying clean as they did staying high. it is HER choice. not alot of people can go to the extremes that my family went to for me. and still i let them down. but i am back now. keep posting on here. best wishes and peace, sway

[kej57]

Thank you very, very, very much to all of you who have written to me! Please know, that I have read every word and will take all advice!!

My three daughters came from "middle class America". Her father and I are both college grads. She gre up in a wonderful community. Is smart, prettty, GREAT athlete (as mentioned...played 2 years of college volleyball). I took my daughters camping, fishing, travelling, all 3 played softball and volleyball.. even into college, and on and on....I just will never understand the "WHY"!!!

As mentioned, she will not speak to me..last conversation I had with her was August 2009...I will try to get her younger sister to speak to her about methodone, although I have a feeling she is SOOO far gone, she only sees the world through her "heroin haze"..that is why I was thinking about  calling the police..I would rather have her hating me, but in jail "sobering up" than do nothing and have to plan a funeral!!

As previously mentioned, her father won't do ANYTHING (and HE has the power to, as his name is on the lease to her apartment, he is paying  ALL of her bills, etc...I cut her off financially when I discovered she was on drugs. I also took away the brand new car I had bought her, etc.. etc..I wanted her to hit "rock bottom")...He "doesn't want her to hate him"...WHAT??? So, he would rather see his daughter kill herself with drugs and continue being a prostitute??? I believe her father should serve jail time for "aiding and abetting"...

Thank all of you so much!! I'll talk to my younger daughter, and see what she thinks..again..I live in another state, which makes is 10 times as difficult!!!

[Bamame]

Hi,
This is such a sad story. But, your daughter is the only one that can get clean and stay clean. Addiction is a disease. There's not one drug-addict in this world that as they were growing up they said to themselves oh I can't wait to grow up and be a drug addict, no they didn't. It's a disease.
Doesn't matter what community she was raised in, it just doesn't. She could have been raised extremely in a wealthy environment I'm sure she had the best clothes the best education the best hairstyles the best makeup. The only makeup she's worried about now is how to make up any situation to get that heroin. Heroin is the devil and that's it. That devil will eat at her until she destroys herself, and she's the only one that can get clean and stay clean and want to be free of this devil. Heroin is horrible it will change her inner and outer appearance it just does. I've lost so many in my life due to drugs that it's just so scary. You have to tell your daughter,, Point Blank don't call me don't even think about me do what you need to do I'll make sure I show up at your funeral because that's where she's going to end up if she doesn't get clean. But remember it's not your fault. Drug addiction is a disease. Sending you prayers.

[moonshyne777]

You make a number of excellent points. Yes, there is a lot of stigma associated with replacement therapy but at the end of the day the addict has to make the choice that helps THEM best regain control of their lives. There should be no one size fits all approach to recovery, RT can be a great *tool* to help the suffering addict stay alive and get the help they need.

kej57 I really feel for you, I sent you a PM and you have my prayers. No mother should have to go through what your having to but hopefully one day she will see that it was you who loved her enough to go to any lengths to save her life. Daddy dearest is enabling to the point of being completely toxic to her. I couldn't believe my eyes when I read what he said when he found out she was prostituting herself. Makes me think this sick ******* may be actually benefitting from the proceeds, maybe she's supplying his drug habit. At any rate I hope and pray she gets the help she really needs.

[kej57]

Oh..one more comment...her father has a BS, MA, a PhD (in "education"  can you believe it?).  I divorced him YEARS and YEARS ago (when the kids were little) as "he" is an alcoholic, he smoked pot, and he physically abused me.  I had to get a restraining order on him. My fear is that my daughter has inherited a "predisposition" to addiction.  

[vicki595]

Hi~  This is terribly sad and you're in a frustrating position. Calling the police may get the ball rolling but I have a feeling she'll end up in jail on her own. Everything she does
is illegal!     As a mother,it's hard to sit back and watch this disaster unfold. I know.
But,you don't have a lot of choices.  There is something called The Baker Act.  It's a law
that enables the police to arrest someone and hold them for(I think) 72 hours,if the person is deemed to be a harm to themselves or to others. This usually leads to a rehab situation. I don't have all the details,you can check it out on Google...but I know a family can just call and give the police any info they have and the police decide.
That's all I can add. You're getting some great support here,as usual for the forum!
Keep posting~
Vicki

[IBKleen]

Hi Kej,

You got some very good advise. I would just like to add a few things.

First, I think it would be very helpful to you if you were to do some reading on the "disease" of addiction and understand that it is a disease and that your daughter is sick.

You spoke of a nice community, college degrees, nice family, etc. None of that has anything at all to do with addiction. Addicts come in all sizes, shapes, colors, religions and social backgrounds. Addiction does not discriminate.

The reason I bring this up is if you are approaching your daughter with a "You came from a good background, what is wrong with you" attitude, then she will not get the message. That is not tough love. If you put her down and make her feel like a junkie, she will be a junkie.

Your daughter is using drugs to mask her feelings, to get outside of herself and make herself feel good. There is something, or several things, that she cannot deal with and drugs help her to forget them and not feel them.

Because heroin is such a very hard drug to get off of, I have to suggest a long-term treatment center with intense therapy. If you have the insurance and are able to get her into a good center, that is what I suggest.

As far as calling the police, like it was asked-what are they going to arrest her for? Possession? She will be out in two days and mad as a hornet. Unless she is selling it, there is not much you can get her for. I don't think it is a good idea to turn her in at all, again, that is not tough love and she will resent you for it. Not to mention it could ruin a future career.

I hope that you continue to talk here and listen to the members here before you make a final decision and also read as much as you can. Best of luck to all of you. I will keep you in my prayers.

[kej57]

Thank you..I agree with you on all of your points you are sharing with me!

I do understand that addiction is a "disease" and coming from a good community, ect..doesn't mean that a person will not be an addict..(Look at her biological father) I do understand that addiction comes in all shapes, sixes, colors, and socio-economic levels..I guess I was thinking/writing outloud, trying to think of a "reason" she would want to "escape". And, her fall into drug addiction occurred SO FAST!! Fine one week,  drug addict the next week..I just "don't understand what caused it"! And as her mother who loves her with all of my heart, I am  just trying to understand the "WHY" issue...and the "WHAT" happened issue...

I agree completely, that she needs intensive counseling, as she has become a drug addict to "mask" some feelings that are haunting her..I just don't know what happened to her! What  "feelings" are bothering her so deeply??I don't know and she won't talk to me..

I hear you regarding not turning her in to the police. I have thought out every scenerio, every course of action, every  possible way to get through to her, and as previously mentioned, I  came to the conclusion that I would rather see her "alive" and in jail, than "dead"...but...I see your point in that jail time may not be the answer..Man..I wish I knew what the "right" AND "best" thing to do was, as I am terrified she is going to die within a year!!

Thank you so much for your points of view/opinions!! I am listening and an absorbing!!! Thank you!!

[laurel453]

i feel for you, kej, you're in a soul killing situation for a mother.

what i can't see very clearly is the point : in jail and alive. Are you sure this would be the scenery ? I mean, while in drugs we are so "basic" and our reactions so crazy that she could felt sort of "cornered" and in this situation, the first reaction will be attack, almost an animal/basic reacton,, and she can't attack you more than damaging herself to hurt you, we can be so irrational .... this could be one possibility and also she could detoxed herself compulsory in jail but with hate inside her, she could do drugs once outside and go down the road in high speed then ,  could  it be just an extreme reaction inimaginable ? ..... you know , i wouldn't like taking this risk at this point just yet...

has she ever talked of wanting to leave drugs after the first detox  ?

[mo2000]

I think Laurel has a very good point... it is SO true that an addict has to decide for themselves that they want to quit!!  I also understand your worry and care about your daughter as well though...

Is there any way you can have something be done, without it being "your fault."  I find that sometimes it is easier for family members to see the light via outside people, rather than family members.  

I am so sorry you are going through this.  This is my biggest fear for my son knowing what I know now.  Do what you feel is right in your heart!

[Mikedonedio]

I love the posts here especially when we talk about the real problem, which is not the drug itself, it is life and how to deal with life without the drugs. I am no expert I have recovery time, and in the years I have, I KNOW that it hurts you, but you need a program that will help you help her. These forums are great, but there is nothing like face to face contact with others going through your same pain. There is a ton of help out there for you, your daughter, and the father. I wish you the best, and just know that if you ever need help, it's there

[mellie4]

My heart goes out to you.  And shame on your ex, but I suppose he has his own problems, and therefore doesn't have the tools to help.

What about doing an intervention without her dad, just you, her siblings, any cousins or aunts or friends that are for her and love her?  Maybe it would have some impact.

Also, you could check into having her civilly committed.  I very nearly did that with my ex.  I went as far as the courthouse.  I don't think he believed me.  We sat in the lobby of the courthouse and I basically said if he didn't commit himself, then I would.  He eventually signed himself in.  

He did have some legal trouble at the time (but so does your daughter.

Best of luck.

[gotcleanformykids]

Hi like some of the others on here have said the choice to get clean is with her not anybody eles the cops arnt going to help as all that will do is put another strike on her record I am a addict of painkillers one of the worest 12 to 16 at a time about 40 to 60 a day when rock bottom comes it comes hard I lost everthing I had built for my family a busines,2 homes,cars,all of it gone because of me but. JAIL WILL ONLY HURT HER I know as I was a fireman for my smalltown so the Da and my department made it so I was picked up on the littest thing and kept in jail for detox.The sad thing is they thought they wher giving me tough love but all the did is risk my life as i could have died  That was the worst 5 days of my life I was sick in full withdraw as they dont give you more than tylenol once a day. I tried methodone also after i finaly hit rock bottom and asked for help DID'NT WORK AT ALL tried tapering DID'NT WORK AT ALL then my doctor said one word to me that changed my life SUBOXONE I have been clean sence the first does 6 months ago now I dont even think about painpills. when befor thats all I and right now she thinks about THE NEXT FIX!!!!!! Suboxone is not cheap but if she wants to get clean or you are willing to help as you say get here to a doctor that can give her the med,as not all doc can go to www.soboxone.com and read all about it. you ca also find a doctor close to her where she can go IT WORKS I AM LIVING PROF OF IT. Most of all DO'NT GIVE UP you have to keep trying if not she will be DEAD!!!!!!!

[kej57]

Wow!!

To ALL of you that have spent your time writing to me: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

As I mentioned before, I am reading EVERY word all of you are saying, I am absorbing the content, and I am learning!!!

It sounds like the consensus is to not turn her into the police, for many really good reasons.

IBKLEEN, I think you are awesome!! Thank you for your opinions, your  honesty, the information you are giving me, and being blunt with me!! I appreciate it so very much!!

My next question:

Should I fly up this summer and go to her aprartment and try to talk to her "face to face"?  (as previously menmtioned, I live in another state. I moved to Cali from Oregon 5 yrs ago. My daughters live in Oregon/Washington. My drug addict daughter lives in Oregon, right outside of Portland). She hates me right now, hasn't spoken to me since August 2009, etc.. Should I fly up and just "show up" at her apartment and try to talk to her, "calmly" of course and with "LOVE".

[kej57]

gotcleanformykids:

THANK YOU!! You are awesome, too!! Thank you!

[IBKleen]

Morning!

You were on my mind last evening after I got off line.

I have forgotten, is she still in college? What I was thinking of was some kind of intervention to get her into treatment. Most colleges have counseling available and are very familiar with these types of situations. Maybe you can find out from the college if they offer these services. I cannot tell you how to handle this but it seems she is still angry with you and she may become very defensive if you just show up. I say this because when I was using, I was defensive....very defensive.

My heart goes out to you, and although I did know, you remind me what my family went through with me. It still pains me to this day. I have been clean from heroin for 21-1/2 years. It is my drug of choice but I have chosen not to use it for those years. I too had a promising career and graduated as an Accountant from a prestigious school. I lived in a beautiful home on the Jersey Shore, new car every two years, etc. Next thing you know, I am laying in the streets of Brooklyn. I went from jail to rehab, to jail, to rehab, to jail and to, please GOD, my last rehab.

I am telling you this to tell you I DO KNOW what your daughter is going through and I also know what YOU are going through. It is horrible for any mother to see her daughter go down this path.

Anyway, what do you think of the idea of asking at the college if they have counseling for drug addiction and if they are familiar and are set-up for interventions?

[kej57]

Good morning to you, IBKLEEN!

I, too, thought about everything you wrote/said after I logged off last night, and I REALLY am learning and absorbing everything you, and others, have told me!

Unfortunately, my daughter is no longer going to college. I am not sure "when" she quit going and dropped out, but I think it was after Fall term of 2009. GREAT idea, though, to see if her college has drug counseling programs!

Wow...your story is very interesting AND touching!! Thank you for sharing!! You could write a book, or there could be a movie, telling your story...or, even give speeches at junior highs or high schools!! MANY people could benefit from hearing your story!!

I have a question for you, and if it is too personal, most definitely you don't have to answer, but you mentioned heroin was your "drug of choice"...why did you choose to try heroin?

[IBKleen]

Shucks, I was hoping she was still in school. It is just my opinion but I still think, because of her most recent "career choice" and her combined drug use, an intervention is the way to go for her. Interventions are difficult and have to be done properly and with a profession present. Even then, she could run. It's a crap shoot of sorts but often when the addict is surrounded by loved ones that are pleading, they may give in.

You asked what made me choose heroin. Good question. I had said yesterday that your daughter was running, hiding if you will, from her feelings. Well, I found that heroin did that for me. I started using drugs at 13 and did not get clean at first until I was 35. I spent many years chasing that "quick fix" and running from anything that even remotely resembled a feeling. I ran from life and in the beginning heroin helped me do that successfully. Once addicted (and it happens very quickly), there is no where to hide.

Again, my heart breaks for you. I know the pain is intense and I am certain she is on your mind every minute. Sometimes, there is nothing we can do. Sometimes we just have to let go and pray for the best. She may get arrested on her own, maybe more than once, and turn things around. You don't know. Yet I know in the meantime you will think of everything you can and try everything you can. I understand that and admire you for it.

Please take care of YOURSELF during all of this. It is important for you to stay healthy and strong.

[cathy5841]

What a sad story.  My heart breaks for you.  You have gotten some good advise here, but the bad part is, you cant help her til she wants it.  I would like to add that you could benefit from some al-anon meetings.  They are meetings for the family of addicts.  There you can learn how to help her, even from afar.  I wish you the best and will keep your family in my prayers.

[kej57]

Thank you, again, for sharing! It help me SO MUCH in trying to "understand" the "WHY" question!

As mentioned, I thought about everyting you wrote to me last night, and I tried to piece together what happened to her...what her "demons" are...I "think" what happend to her, is that she had a couple of relationships, in a row, with guys who probably "used" her, then "dumped" her. She moved to Arizona in 2005 with her volleyball buddy, and attended ASU. She met a guy, fell in love, and basically gave her life to him..quit playing volleyball, and went to classes "off and on". This guy seemed nice (I flew down to Arizona to visit her several times, and met this guy). After a year he "dumped" her. She was devestated..She then met this other guy. I met him, too. He was kind of a "bad boy" type. He decided to move back to Minnesota (he is Norwegian, as we are, and she felt a very strong connection with him). She decided to move to Minnesota with him, and didn't tell me until she was in Minnesota. I told her that I thought it was a mistake, as she had no family, or friends in Minnesota, and she quit school to move there with him, etc.. etc.. 6 months, he dumped her..Again, she was devestated. She had a job, but no family or friends, etc..and she wasn't going to school. I flew one of her cousins back to Minnesota to help her move back to the Northwest. I financed her move. I told her she could move in with me, and my husband, in Cali., but she didn't know anyone down here, and decided to back to the Northwest. From what my youngest daughter told me, once my drug addict daughter arrived back in Oregon, she "re-connected" with some of her old high school friends. One of these friends, ahd gone down the "drug path". (And these kids were good kids..I knew all of them through HS sports). Apparently, she was "talked into" trying Oxy..she immediately got hooked, and graduated to heroin...during this time, my youngest daughter found out about the drug abuse. She called me, crying, etc.. I had just been diagnosed with breat cancer, had bi-lateral mastectomie, and was on heavy chemo treatments...I flew up, inbetween chemo treatments. and tried to talk to my drug addicted daughter..she lied to e and told me that "there was nothing wrong"...A few months later, is when my youngest daughter told me that my drug addict daughter was driving "high and drunk"...that is when I flew up and took my car back ( I had bought her a brand new car when she moved to Arizona)..again..I tried to talk her into going into rehab..she ignored me..a few months later, I flew up again, and again, she was driving high and drunk. (Her father had given her one of his cars). That was August of 2009. That was when I called the police in hopes she would be picked up and forced into court ordered rehab. That is when she told me, "I hate you and wish you would die, and if yuo died tommorrow, I wouldn't go to your funeral"..Long story, but I think the "WHY" question, may be that she had "2" bad relationships with guys in a row, she even moved to another state to be with the last boyfriend, only to be dumped...I think she felt guilty for not playing VB anymore,  etc.. (She began attending college, again, once she moved back to Oregon, but I think she dropped out after Fall of 2009)...so maybe the "WHY" is that she had her heart broken BIG TIME twice in a row...maybe that sent her over the edge...Just an idea....

You are right...She is on my mind EVERY day..I have cried a river of tears over her and not knowing what to do to help her get well..

It has put a strain on my relationship with my husband, as he is so mad at ehr biological father, and he is sick of seeing me so sad..I try to hide my sadness from him now.

Thank you..I will try to take care of myself, emotionally..My oncologist keeps telling me to eliminate all stresses, as the "healing" process is so important, and stress and cause the healing process to slow down...so..I  try not to think about it...

You are right..sometimes we just have to "let go" as it really IS up to the drug addict to WANT to get help....

Thank you so much for caring and sharing!! It helps me tremendously!!

[Kdm5]

I just placed a police report tonight on my daughter, 23.  She has been and addict for years and pleading for help.  she has been in and out of recovery programs...  out patient, in patient, short term and long term.  She was in jail for 6 months for steeling from her brother to get money for her drugs.  then transferred to long term.  She trived.  They LOVED her.  She graduated and then the stresses of LIFE, JOB and BOYFRIEND found her lost and depressed and she began using here and there.  She put herself in out patient again.  THEN she found out she was pregnant.  Tried to get back on track.  Had fights with the babies father and broke down and used again.  I picked her up from the city high on heroin.  She called for help.  I drove her straigt the her Counselors office.. they put her in the hospital and then moved her into a long term facilitly for Pregnant women.  She was doing well .... and begining to show.  She started getting very depressed not being home or with her Boyfriend.  Got in a fight with the counselors at the rehab and walked out... we told her she could not live with us until she finished the program because we just knew she was emotionally mature or stable enough..  We had to SEE some long clean time and a change.  She is bright and beautiful....  really.  But her drug addiction has her in its grips still.
Anyhow, a few days ago, she came into my house in the middle of the night, stole my purse and took my bank card and stole $400 from my account... later she addmitted it was to bail a friend out of jail.  Then I researched it and that wasn't true.  She admitted to using and spent it ALL.
SHE IS 4 MOS. PREGNANT.  Now I have to worry about the baby and HER!  I cried and cried and cried... AGAIN!  I just did not know what to do.  All of the counselors, nar anon folks, etc. agreed I had to turn her in.  She may hate me (but i know she wont forever, really) but, like you said, I KNOW she'll be safe in jail at least the baby may have a clean start.  She was on probation from before, so she'll go back to jail and hopefully she'll go back COURT ORDERED again to LONG TERM rehab.  SHE has to suffer the consequences of her behavior!  I know that, and this is a consequence.  I am sick and heartbroken.. again.  I LOVE her so very much and she knows that too.  I know this is a disease..  but i just do not want her to kill herself or this baby.  God I pray and pray and pray....... all day every day.