Aa
Benzo withdrawal? Ativan?? 3 years of use! PLEASE HELP!!!!
I'm 28 years old... I had a VERY bad anxiety episode in October of 2008. Couldnt sleep for nights, rapid heart rate, didnt know what was going on with me. Was pacing like crazy! Finally went to the Dr. after breaking down and crying...
He said I was having anxiety, which I was. He prescribed me .5mg of Lorazepam (ativan) to take up to twice a day when needed.
My anxiety came and went, it was very episodic throughout those 3 years. But I would take ativan when needed when I was feeling anxious or having insomnia.
I then started to develop strange sensations, jolts, electricity etc. and would have ANXIETY and go see my Dr., he assured me it was all anxiety and told me to just keep taking my ativan. Of course, the ativan helped the issues.
I do NOT take this pill EVERYDAY, but after going through my journals over the past 3 years (which thank God I've kept)
I have taken ativan ON more than OFF most def.
Symptoms at 1st were indeed anxiety... and the ativan helped me through it.
But as the years went by, I'd wean slowly over a 2 week period or so, and be great... then a new symptom would appear, and I'd freak out... like muscle twitching all over my body... or a stiff neck... my Dr. assured me it was all anxiety... so since these sensations were GIVING me anxiety... what would I do? Take an ATIVAN or 2. (.5mg)
To some this up... about a Month ago, I was doing great... I started a wedding videographer business on the side, and it exploded. I did get stressed out about it though.
Then all of a sudden... I was filming this girls wedding... 7-30-11 and felt my fingers and lips go tingly... it scared me... then my face flushed... and my heart rate was OUT THE ROOF.
I told myself it was just anxiety and to relax... well I couldnt... but made it through the day. I took 2 ativan to help sleep that night.
Over the next week... I kept feeling the tingling... so I went to the Dr. for peace of mind.. he said anxiety... it soon left... but what came next was CONSTANT OFF BALANCE AND LIGHTHEADEDNESS...
I'd move my head left and right and it would take things a second to catch up. Also, walking just felt WEIRD...
I was TOTALLY wigging out over this... my Dr. assured me it was probably an INNER EAR issue from allergies... or from swimming?
This feeling did NOT help my anxiety though... so I was taking 2 ativan .5mg before bed to help sleep.. b/c I could feel the spinning sensation in my head at times in my sleep. SCARY.
I called my Dr. and said that the ativan isnt working much anymore... and if I could switch over to Klonopin (I had some up in a cabinet) he said NO PROBLEM... just not too much. He said he wasnt worried about me getting addicted. Which I DON'T have an addictive personality at all.
One day of feeling off balance I decided to try a .5mg klonopin... and guess what? The OFF BALANCE feeling LEFT.
I called him and told him and he said great! But he wanted me to start Paxil for my anxiety... 5mg
I agreed and said it couldnt hurt.
Well, that didnt agree with me so I got off of it... only took it for like 4 days?
Then before bed I was getting these STRANGE electric JOLTS in my head and body before falling asleep... then my body would feel weightless as heck! Like I wasnt in it! I told myself over and over it was just anxiety.
The .5mg klonopin was not helping too much.
I called my Dr. about these sensations and he told me it's just anxiety, and that I have it bad.
He said he'd like for me to take .25mg of klonopin just before bed instead of .5mg. So I did...
since then I've had feelings of DREAD... electric jolt... the strangest 1-2 second panic attack sensations ever... depersonalization for seconds at a time... now I'm having insomnia...
2 days ago I called him CRYING and moping b/c of these feelings, and I told him that I thought I was having ATIVAN WITHDRAWAL...
My back has been achy too and just feels flu like.. I have had a couple bouts of diarhea too.. and ZERO appetite for the most part.
I can't keep still.... he told me to relax and take 2 ativan and to come see him next week... which will be this Tuesday.
I didnt sleep at all lastnight even with the .25mg klonopin... and I was a pacy mess today... and still am... I kept researching Lorazepam/Ativan/Benzo withdrawal... and I really feel this is what I'm experiencing..
I havent had ativan for almost a month now... just Klonopin... and I'm down to .25mg..
I'm a MESS. But I'm making it.
I broke down and had my Dr. paged again tonight b/c I was convinced I was having DEPENDENCY/Withdrawal from Ativan... and Klonopin was just hiding some of the possible withdrawal effects? But not really.
He said it's possible but he said "Why do you want to stop Ativan? You have anxiety and it helps..."
I explained "I think the ativan is causing more problems than good... and im developing a tolerance.."
He said "Well sometimes you have to take more... but that's okay..."
He said his goal is to get me off the Ativan safely and to help my anxiety.
I'M SO SCARED I'M GOING TO GO THROUGH WITHDRAWAL HELL.
Do you think I am or is this really ALL anxiety?
Do you think once I completely wean off the klonopin .25mg... are the withdrawals going to be EVEN WORSE?
Am I going to vomit shake? etc.? Be able to go to work? All these thoughts are going through my head... it's scary... I'm trying so hard NOT to take any ativan right now...
He said he'd help me wean off... but I havent taken it for a month... so will he take me off the klonopin more than likely then put me back on ativan? then wean me off???
I told him about the Ashton Method, he said he hasnt ever heard of it and said it sounded dumb to wean off ativan with diazapam.
I'm scared now he's not educated enough to help me wean off ativan correctly...
WHAT DO I DO? He's been a loving Dr. he really has... but I'm SO SCARED to go through this....
He said I was having anxiety, which I was. He prescribed me .5mg of Lorazepam (ativan) to take up to twice a day when needed.
My anxiety came and went, it was very episodic throughout those 3 years. But I would take ativan when needed when I was feeling anxious or having insomnia.
I then started to develop strange sensations, jolts, electricity etc. and would have ANXIETY and go see my Dr., he assured me it was all anxiety and told me to just keep taking my ativan. Of course, the ativan helped the issues.
I do NOT take this pill EVERYDAY, but after going through my journals over the past 3 years (which thank God I've kept)
I have taken ativan ON more than OFF most def.
Symptoms at 1st were indeed anxiety... and the ativan helped me through it.
But as the years went by, I'd wean slowly over a 2 week period or so, and be great... then a new symptom would appear, and I'd freak out... like muscle twitching all over my body... or a stiff neck... my Dr. assured me it was all anxiety... so since these sensations were GIVING me anxiety... what would I do? Take an ATIVAN or 2. (.5mg)
To some this up... about a Month ago, I was doing great... I started a wedding videographer business on the side, and it exploded. I did get stressed out about it though.
Then all of a sudden... I was filming this girls wedding... 7-30-11 and felt my fingers and lips go tingly... it scared me... then my face flushed... and my heart rate was OUT THE ROOF.
I told myself it was just anxiety and to relax... well I couldnt... but made it through the day. I took 2 ativan to help sleep that night.
Over the next week... I kept feeling the tingling... so I went to the Dr. for peace of mind.. he said anxiety... it soon left... but what came next was CONSTANT OFF BALANCE AND LIGHTHEADEDNESS...
I'd move my head left and right and it would take things a second to catch up. Also, walking just felt WEIRD...
I was TOTALLY wigging out over this... my Dr. assured me it was probably an INNER EAR issue from allergies... or from swimming?
This feeling did NOT help my anxiety though... so I was taking 2 ativan .5mg before bed to help sleep.. b/c I could feel the spinning sensation in my head at times in my sleep. SCARY.
I called my Dr. and said that the ativan isnt working much anymore... and if I could switch over to Klonopin (I had some up in a cabinet) he said NO PROBLEM... just not too much. He said he wasnt worried about me getting addicted. Which I DON'T have an addictive personality at all.
One day of feeling off balance I decided to try a .5mg klonopin... and guess what? The OFF BALANCE feeling LEFT.
I called him and told him and he said great! But he wanted me to start Paxil for my anxiety... 5mg
I agreed and said it couldnt hurt.
Well, that didnt agree with me so I got off of it... only took it for like 4 days?
Then before bed I was getting these STRANGE electric JOLTS in my head and body before falling asleep... then my body would feel weightless as heck! Like I wasnt in it! I told myself over and over it was just anxiety.
The .5mg klonopin was not helping too much.
I called my Dr. about these sensations and he told me it's just anxiety, and that I have it bad.
He said he'd like for me to take .25mg of klonopin just before bed instead of .5mg. So I did...
since then I've had feelings of DREAD... electric jolt... the strangest 1-2 second panic attack sensations ever... depersonalization for seconds at a time... now I'm having insomnia...
2 days ago I called him CRYING and moping b/c of these feelings, and I told him that I thought I was having ATIVAN WITHDRAWAL...
My back has been achy too and just feels flu like.. I have had a couple bouts of diarhea too.. and ZERO appetite for the most part.
I can't keep still.... he told me to relax and take 2 ativan and to come see him next week... which will be this Tuesday.
I didnt sleep at all lastnight even with the .25mg klonopin... and I was a pacy mess today... and still am... I kept researching Lorazepam/Ativan/Benzo withdrawal... and I really feel this is what I'm experiencing..
I havent had ativan for almost a month now... just Klonopin... and I'm down to .25mg..
I'm a MESS. But I'm making it.
I broke down and had my Dr. paged again tonight b/c I was convinced I was having DEPENDENCY/Withdrawal from Ativan... and Klonopin was just hiding some of the possible withdrawal effects? But not really.
He said it's possible but he said "Why do you want to stop Ativan? You have anxiety and it helps..."
I explained "I think the ativan is causing more problems than good... and im developing a tolerance.."
He said "Well sometimes you have to take more... but that's okay..."
He said his goal is to get me off the Ativan safely and to help my anxiety.
I'M SO SCARED I'M GOING TO GO THROUGH WITHDRAWAL HELL.
Do you think I am or is this really ALL anxiety?
Do you think once I completely wean off the klonopin .25mg... are the withdrawals going to be EVEN WORSE?
Am I going to vomit shake? etc.? Be able to go to work? All these thoughts are going through my head... it's scary... I'm trying so hard NOT to take any ativan right now...
He said he'd help me wean off... but I havent taken it for a month... so will he take me off the klonopin more than likely then put me back on ativan? then wean me off???
I told him about the Ashton Method, he said he hasnt ever heard of it and said it sounded dumb to wean off ativan with diazapam.
I'm scared now he's not educated enough to help me wean off ativan correctly...
WHAT DO I DO? He's been a loving Dr. he really has... but I'm SO SCARED to go through this....
Best Answer
You are absolutely right. These benzos leave you in a place that's actually much worse than the place you were in when you took them for the first time. These benzos are like pushing down a spring which is your nervous system and brain. When you attempt to stop using them, this spring pops up which is your nervous system attempting to speed up to get back where it was before. This 'speeding up' is actually those awful symptoms you feel that cause you to want to keep taking the drugs 'to keep that spring pressed down'.
Why would I want to start another benzo? I'm trying to taper off of one that I've been on for almost 4 years. That's a big NO NO in my goal to be clean of benzo.
Sure my anxiety is still probably going to come back, it may not. But I'm seeking therapy through this WHOLE process.
Anxiety disorders CAN be REVERSED without meds. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is something I should have stuck with A LONG time ago.
So that's my goal. To wean slowly off the Ativan for a few months... then be BENZO CLEAN!
Benzos for anxiety are only a band-aid. There have got to be techniques to help with anxiety and control it with out meds. Your brain is a VERY powerful thing.
Sure my anxiety is still probably going to come back, it may not. But I'm seeking therapy through this WHOLE process.
Anxiety disorders CAN be REVERSED without meds. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is something I should have stuck with A LONG time ago.
So that's my goal. To wean slowly off the Ativan for a few months... then be BENZO CLEAN!
Benzos for anxiety are only a band-aid. There have got to be techniques to help with anxiety and control it with out meds. Your brain is a VERY powerful thing.
I wont go in my long story but i was put on ativan in 2008..I KEEP getting worse severe dizziness,and the walkng like you said,,there were times i just felt i was in another world,and my legs would cave in.They never did.But in 2010,I went to a new Dr.and he took me off the ativan and back on xanax which i had been on dince 1990(except from 2007-2010) i have not felt that way since..It was the ativan.I hate being on benzos,but the dumb drs insist its anxiety instead of other things..i have since found out it was my thyroid and hornones..but Im still hooked and need xanax.So I would say try another benzo....but never stop any of them cold turkey even when going on another one/Hope this helps.
cnote i dnt know what happened I posted b4u did 40minutes ago but its not here.Btw I got ur message+wrote u back.real quick I said please read my original post now that u talked2ur DR+brother.I was the only1who said I thought ur stress+anxiety was causing the symptoms every1else disagreed+said u were w/d.Thats such a low dose.I know now u did reread it.I was on 6-8mg xanax a day.Didnt wanna argue w/my dr i did my own taper+at2mg I jumped.Hes right other DRS wouldve given u xanax for sure those r what u should use valium2get off of.(I was taking10-15 10mg lortab,6-8mg xanax,soma,fironal,cymbalta EVERYDAY!!CRAZY).Anyway ur gonna rock this I know it.
My brother also made a VERY TRUE statement... he said:
"Chris, if you weren't seeing your Dr. and you were seeing some other Dr. for your anxiety... he wouldn't be giving you .5mg ativan... He'd be giving you XANAX 3X a day and other things for as much as you see your Dr. for anxiety. lol. Your Dr. told you he's careful on NOT OVER PRESCRIBING meds, and he's not doing that to you. You are luck you have a good Dr."
"Chris, if you weren't seeing your Dr. and you were seeing some other Dr. for your anxiety... he wouldn't be giving you .5mg ativan... He'd be giving you XANAX 3X a day and other things for as much as you see your Dr. for anxiety. lol. Your Dr. told you he's careful on NOT OVER PRESCRIBING meds, and he's not doing that to you. You are luck you have a good Dr."
** 1st full paragraph --->> when I wrote "he was against MY wean... I meant, he was against the way I wanted to wean with valium."
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That being said I really believe anxiety can be A LOT WORSE that w/d.The anticipation of w/d can be practically debilitating.I have been there.I admire the control u have on not taking medication when u have such anxiety.Having said that have you ever thought maybe you should continue with some sort of benzo.That is if you think you can't function like your used to w/o it.If your strong enough to stop go with your instincts.Your doctor seems to trust and value your opinion.People come off benzos all the time I'm sure your doctor has been down this road before but if your worried ask him if he has done this tapering process often/before if not maybe he can refer u to someone who has had more experience with the process.To ease your anxiety get step by step instructions written down to clarify exactly what your taper will be like including any side effects so you have NO surprises.good luck.your very strong you can get off the benzos for sure.