My Addiction to Hydrocodone....

[nikkotine]

t all started last year in April of 2008. I had a head injury on my job while working out in the oil fields. I worked hard, close to 70 hours a week. A year prior I was released from prison for a white collar crime, and I was living with my parents and trying very hard to get back on my feet. I did have a lot of pain in my life, my fiance left me while I was away (I don't blame her for that), closes friends died, and I hated the fact that while I was educated I had to work for so little wage and so many hours.

I busted my head open on a valve stem. There wasn't a lot of pain. Went to the emergency room, where they stitched me up and sent me on my way. They gave me nothing for pain, and my boss who drove me questioned that. When I got home, the pain started to kick in. So I called the ER and they called me in a script for Ultram. The medicine killed the pain, but in the morning I found myself throwing up. The doctors say it was from the head injury, but I knew it was because I took close to 5 of the Ultram the night before.

A couple days go by and I go to Care Now to have my staples removed. A doctor asked if I was having pain, and I stated I had MILD headaches. She came back and handed me a script. I didn't know what LORTAB was, as I never had taken the drug. When I got to the Pharmacy and filled it, I saw Hydrocodone on the label. I was kind of shocked that I was prescribed such a strong drug for such a mild problem. I took it anyway. The feeling was amazing. All the problems, and feelings I had from prison slipped away. I felt elevated, like I could do anything. This was the first time I took the drug and it didn't stop until yesterday.

I continued to lie to doctors about my headaches. The hydrocodone scripts stopped. So I then began to complain about back problems. I saw a back specialist who actually diagnosed me with a herniated disc, which lead to me getting monthly scripts of hydrocodone. When my insurance stepped in and saw how much I was taking they put their foot down. So then I began to pay with cash. I'd go through 120 pills in a week. When I needed more, I went back to my great family doctor, who trusted me. He gave me more. I'd say I went through over 300 (7.5/325 nocro) pills a month easily. Eventually even my family doctor caught on on to what I was doing and sent me a letter stating he would no longer see me. I could go on and on about how I obtained prescriptions, but I don't want to give anyone else ideas so they end up where I did.

While life went on, and I can't lie when I say I'm better off now then I was when I started Hydrocodone. I have lost a lot of friends. I lost my girlfriend, who at first believed I had valid pain, and warned me time and time again to get off of the medicine. She watched my decline, and finally put her foot down and left me as a result. I loved the feeling and the drug more than her, and now I know just how much of a mistake that was. Friends I had for years, also abandoned me. I was told I was selfish, and inconsiderate. Two traits I never thought I had. The only good that has happened has been with my job. Hydrocodone was there when I started my own business, and it was also there when it started to grow and become successful. My fear was if I quit, that the motivation and elevation that the drug brought me would stop, and I wouldn't be motivated to do anything. I don't want to paint a perfect picture here. Even though I have plenty of business, I've made a lot of spontaeous decisions that have hurt my business, and have put me and my business partner in some serious debt as a result. When I took the medicine I thought it would help me think clearer, when really it clouded my judgement. I insisted to myself that even though I didn't need the medication for pain, I needed it to continue my success. Hydrocodone was that friend who your friends and family hate, but you just can't live without.

Yesterday, I told that friend good bye, and started my suboxone therapy this morning. I feel great already, and have NO cravings for hydrocodone at all. This drug is a miracle.

For those of you that are struggling with addiction, I know exactly how you feel. It's always just one more refill, one more week. Make the step and free yourself from the drug. Think of all the money, and time you'll save. Most of all think of your family and yourself.

Wow that's long.. If you made it this far, thanks for reading =)

[GA Guy]

You should stay on the Suboxone until you're mentally ready to stop. That means that you should start working your recovery right now. The Suboxone has placed your addiction into remission. It's still there, doing pushups, while you're on the Sub. You should be working a 12 step program and get yourself ready for the day you do come off the Sub.

[nikkotine]

Thanks =)

[IBKleen]

You will need to work with your doctor on how long to say on it and as I said, hopefully a therapist.

[IBKleen]

Suboxone is replacement therapy for those who are unable to stop or stay stopped. I would not call it a miracle. Some day you will need to withdrawal from it also. Take this time to get your life back in order and know that somewhere down the road this too will end unless you plan to stay on it for the rest of your life.

I have to suggest that you seek aftercare and get to the root of the problem(s) so you can go on from here.

GL

[nikkotine]

my question is, how long should I stay on suboxone.. As of right now I feel as if I don't even need anything anymore...