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CANT GET PAST DAY 3
To anyone who reads this and following my story, I can't get past day three. I know where I want to be, that i want to be clean but I fail EVERYTIME. DAY 3 is the hardest and when your in between fear and sobriety its rough. I made a step further and called the outpatient help center to get info on it but yesterday I got paid, in the middle of the night I made the stupid desicion to fall back again. Addiction is not a game and for anyone that is confused and Dont know what to do seek all the help you can get!! From the person you trust the best to professional help I tried cold turkey from 10 one day to none the next and relapsed took 4 one day and none the next I can't say that's an excuse or its right or wrong so to hopefully not make withdraws terrible and my mental state worse in this I have what I have and it will be the last bit I buy. I will settle for what i have and cut down daily and when I'm out, I'm out. Even though your still on them will outpatient help you get off? Anybody know?
Best Answer
Drake, I read your post but haven't read the reply posts so if I re-state something please understand. I had several day 3's where I just couldn't take it anymore so I went back out to the Land Of Oxy's not to be confused with the Land of Oz!!lol. I did the same thing you are doing and I'm here to say you can get clean and you can be free of drugs. I would suggest that you go into a detox facility to get over the physical nightmare. You would spend between 3 to 6 days in a safe facility where they will take care of you and it makes the detox process a million times easier. I did this and it saved my life. after detox I went through an Intensive 6 week Out Patient Program and it was totally worth it. I could still go to work (except for the detox time) and people at work did not need to know a thing. If you follow up and take the outpatient classes serious you can live a clean happy drug free life. You need to get into some type of long term program like NA or AA. There are other programs that could also be helpful like SmartRecover. Whatever works best for you is the best thing to do. I have had so many day 3's to only be so sick of being sick I went back to the instant hollow solution which was a Diet Coke and an 80 mg oxy. I've been clean and sober since 3/13/13 and that is the most important date in Big Dad's History. You can be free from the chains of addiction. Get yourself into a detox center and get your life back brother. Peace, BD
I have 10 left. I feel so terrible I don't even wanna take them but if I don't I know i Wiill feel terrible I gave thought about all day just tomorrow waking up fresh and start this day one over but If I know their there I won't want to. All day iv been debating and writing on paper to express these mixed emotions.. But here I am gaining the fear of days to come...
Drake
You have gotten great advice! I too think that tapering is nearly impossible for most of us! If the pill is there Id take it!!!! You have to do what is right for you but you also have to be honest with yourself! You have to want this more than anything else! If it takes going inpatient then do it!!! You can do this...its not impossible as all of us here are a testament to! We are no different than you are...we just had enough and did it!!! Im praying for you that you find the strength to make the right choice!!! Keep posting!!
You have gotten great advice! I too think that tapering is nearly impossible for most of us! If the pill is there Id take it!!!! You have to do what is right for you but you also have to be honest with yourself! You have to want this more than anything else! If it takes going inpatient then do it!!! You can do this...its not impossible as all of us here are a testament to! We are no different than you are...we just had enough and did it!!! Im praying for you that you find the strength to make the right choice!!! Keep posting!!
Hi drake, how many pills do you have left? Are you going to take them all or turf them? You have spent an awesome amount of time on here!!!
Thank you all for the kind words! And strong advice I look up to all of you
Iv asked myself that a few times cUz when I'm with her I feel she Is like starin at my eyes every time cuz obviously they change. I don't know it just suxs! Its very sh!!tyyy. I just feel like I can't escape!
Drake, I jumped off after posting last night so I missed out on the conversation of telling your sister and taper versus not tapering. IMO if you are even remotely close to your sister than I bet she knows a lot more than you think. This makes me chuckle because I thought I was so sneaky. I thought "hell ya, no one knows I'm taking seven to ten 80mg oxy's a day. No one knows I'm taking enough Xanax to kill a horse. I bet your sister already knows my friend so don't use that as an excuse to not get clean. She's your sister so if she doesn't understand than don't worry about it. This is about you and your life so don't worry about her. A few people advised that you taper. IMO that is a huge mistake. You have to walk through the Valley of Death and be sick for several days. Tapering is just going to prolong the hell your living in and chances are you'll be tapering and your addict brain will say hey Drake you've been doing great for 24 hours so it's time to reward yourself with a double dose. You need to stop making excuses and take your life back. How many old addicts do you know. How many addicts live into their 60 or 70's. There are not any because they are 6 feet under in some cemetery. You need to start loving yourself enough to say enough is enough and I'm done with this sh#t. If I did it you can do it. Your ten 10mg pills a day was just an appetizer for me and I don't say that thinking I'm cool. I hurt a lot of people I love but I've been 100 percent clean since March 2013 and I have the rest of my life to make up for being a crummy husband and dad. Before drugs I was a awesome husband and dad. During my addiction I was a peace of Shiiiiit husband and dad. All I wanted was oxy's. Today I'm healthy, happy, and my future is bright. Take your future back Drake. God Bless You.
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