Never giving up...

[Gettingalifeagain]

Hello friends...I had the very best of intentions to be pill free by this time.  My plan was to taper and be 100% clean by this time.  I have blamed people places and things, which enabled me to just have a couple to ease the physical pain at work, and the emotional pain at home.  I appreciate being honest with you all. I am back at day one again...but I will NEVER quit QUITTING.  My desire to be clean is stronger than my desire to use.  I had a weak moment, and my guard was down.  I will get another key tag from NA.  
Now, the thought of withdrawing while working 6 days a week, 10 hour days is scaring me.  I was hoping I would be done by now.  I work in a fast paced garden centre, where I don't even get a chance to have a break or eat a lunch.  (My choice, I know).  
I just need a little encouragement please....even some "tough love" would help.

[clean_in_ks]

Glad you posted and are talking to us.  And I'm glad you're never gonna quit quitting....LOL  That's the only way to win~

Have you told your dr that you became addicted and not to prescribe you any more narcotics (except for surgery or something?)

If you don't totally cut off your source(s).....even if you get a little time under your belt.....your head will "know" you have a way to get pills.  I had to eliminate all avenues of getting more pills and that seemed to shut off that nagging voice in my head.  I had to have them all GONE...completely outta my house when I committed to get clean.  I decided I didn't need a "back up plan" if I was truly done.

P.S.  Please allow yourself regular breaks and time out to rest and eat lunch.....it's time to start being REALLY good to yourself~  

[jugglin]

Sorry, my friend.  I'm not the tough love type but I will always be honest with you.  Look, it happened.  No good beating yourself up about it.  Better to use that energy and refocus it into sobriety.  Yep, starting anew and figuring out what you need to be doing differently.  Love to hear you are still at NA and that you are going to continue the fight.  You are determined and you CAN get thru this...keep pushing forward...keep fighting thru.  Yep, works probably gonna $uck, but it will also keep your mind busy and get your body moving around.  If you can take a sick day or two in there, you may wanna give yourself a bit of a break otherwise you may find another reason to use.  Sending you a prayer girlie and thinking of you!

[AShellof_Me]

Hey there~
So glad you're here :) I commend you for your transparency girl... it ain't easy!  We have all had 'weak' moments, right? Don't beat yourself up... can't change yesterday. You have TODAY. That's all any of us have. Start with today.

This sobriety walk is ONE day at a time. I get that you get that lol. You've been doing this, so you know how this process works. I just want to encourage you! You're not the first to find a 'start over' and you won't be the last! ha! You CAN do this!  Just not alone girlie... SO happy you're here for some support... and it sounds like you're hitting meetings. Praise God.

Meetings meetings meetings... :) Just want to also encourage you to hit those meetings! Do you have a sponsor? Someone to walk you through the steps?  "Our (alcohol)DOC was but a symptom. So we have to get down to causes and conditions." (Big Book p.64) Step 4... :) For me and so many... we have to get to the root, yeah? We addicts have a thinking problem lol... it's what between our ears that truly needs the adjustment!  

Keep at it honey! You are so worth the fight... you are a beautiful vibrant woman with a glorious CLEAN life journey ahead... GRAB hold with both hands girl... you CAN DO this. Go get your chip... listen, learn, and OPEN your heart and mind and be WILLING and watch some miracles happen in your life! :)... ONE day at a time. The promises will be revealed - sometimes quickly... sometimes slowly...  "They will always materialize if we work for them."
Praying for you best!!

[luvdolphins58]

Just keep on being determine. You can do it. Never give up. You can do it.