Couldn't even post on first one. Quitting dope.

[sayl_3m]

I tried quitting the first time, I'm too scared to look at the date on that. I'm down a lot more weight and my circulation is so bad my hands are blue typing this. Today I had to stop. I didn't know I how much I was doing was wrong. I was not only mistaken, I was lying to myself. The pain I am in right now is unreal. Eating again is like teaching myself how a jaw works, it gets sore like legs would after a run after the first bite. I can't eat a portion bigger than half my first. I get sick. It's only been since about a bit before my last quitting. I'm scared. I'm 22. If this keeps on I will die very soon. I'm not ready to die. I need tips, ideas, advice. I don't even want to eat sober because the weight loss feels so amazing. I can't go to a doctor right now or hospital, out of the question. I AM away from meth and unable to get any. Please.. I don't know how to genuinely ask for help right now.. The last bowl I forced myself to smoke and it made me sick. When I can see a doctor I will, until then unattainable and in need of someone who has quit this before to speak to me. Again.. So. Scared. Gotta run hit water on my hands..

[jifmoc]

Hmmm. That didn't make complete sense. Are you high now?

What is it that you are looking for? How can we help you?

[Kristen2015]

glad you came back here.  what did you take to OD on?  i wasn't clear on that.  have you tried to stop the meth?  can you just flush it?   sorry for all the questions.  you need some support from people that don't do drugs and want to save your life.  can your fiance help you?

Please keep us updated.  been worried about you

[sayl_3m]

I am really sorry I an just now posting. I drank and over dosed and had a mini stroke? Apparently serially low blood sugar. So nearly died twice. Scares as hell, and I still can't manage to go to rehab. I feel like life will be the same as before, or worse. I'm literally killing my mother with my problems. One more attempt and I think she's done. I didn't want to die this time. Idk what happened. A little high a lot drunk. I feel like this is just life now. I look back sand it always seemed like a fun thing now it kinda supports me. And getting it for free is like a life style I have no problems maintaining. I'm still the soccer mom of your dreams daily. I've lost a serious amount of weight but people actually don't notice often. I've passed this off for so long, and I never really feel down except for the abuse e and wanting to leave.. I'm not allowed my medication anymore because that was my third attempt and I'm getting more and more afraid because of everything I just typed. I don't feel wrong. Like having a mini stroke and severe low blood sugar at 22 is normal. My hands turn blue, and my thumb cranks very seriously, can't move my fingers, I eat. Now even my fiance thinks I've quit, only my dad knows, and how I'm pretty much high anytime I'm alone hasn't been caught by now I'm nervous of what I could get away with. It's scary when I see how much worse I could get, and how much worse off I am than the first post I made. But I can't even fathom getting help. T therapy, psychiatry, always just ****** with my head. NA? God it's worse for me in there. I just can't even.. I used to tell myself I would never do it alone, that is what junkies do. Now I Wait for the moment u can be alone. It's pathetic. I'm sorry about this rant..

[meegWpaw]

Sayl  I hope you are ok. all good things to you-- Meegan

[Quince30]

This is a very worrying situation.  OP, please get the help you need.  You truly are worth it!

[winthewar]

Prayers her way it breaks my heart to hear stories like this.  I hope she finds a way to happiness and away from the evil.  Ms d thanks for being there for her!