Couldn't even post on first one. Quitting dope.

[sayl_3m]

I tried quitting the first time, I'm too scared to look at the date on that. I'm down a lot more weight and my circulation is so bad my hands are blue typing this. Today I had to stop. I didn't know I how much I was doing was wrong. I was not only mistaken, I was lying to myself. The pain I am in right now is unreal. Eating again is like teaching myself how a jaw works, it gets sore like legs would after a run after the first bite. I can't eat a portion bigger than half my first. I get sick. It's only been since about a bit before my last quitting. I'm scared. I'm 22. If this keeps on I will die very soon. I'm not ready to die. I need tips, ideas, advice. I don't even want to eat sober because the weight loss feels so amazing. I can't go to a doctor right now or hospital, out of the question. I AM away from meth and unable to get any. Please.. I don't know how to genuinely ask for help right now.. The last bowl I forced myself to smoke and it made me sick. When I can see a doctor I will, until then unattainable and in need of someone who has quit this before to speak to me. Again.. So. Scared. Gotta run hit water on my hands..

[msdelight]

Hey girl, I wasn't addicted to meth but I am a nurse. Honey if your hands are blue your right, you are dying. Please go to city or state hospital emergency room right now. Ask someone to call 911. No patient can be turned away due to an inability to pay. Its the law. They bill medicaid. You sound very very ill. Hurling so much causes dehydration and that alone can kill you.
You are only 22, you have your whole life ahead of you. We can help you a lot and be there to help you through. Please do your part and call 911. I promise it will be ok.

[refills]

Hey, so glad you came back here so give yourself credit. You're asking for help so it would make me so happy if you would accept it. 22 years old and you suffer so. That's no way to live and in fact, that's a bad way to die. No punches being held back. You need to listen to MsD and others who will come. It's not easy straightening your life out and it may take some time. It's really worth it though and you will forever thank yourself.

Listen to me. there is a better life a short walk away. I wouldn't steer you wrong. I've had a relapse on my drinking and I'm telling you that I plan on getting back up on that horse/bike whatever, and living a clean life. I know how it feels both ways now. Being clean is so much better. You can do this. It's far worse than the pain you are living in right now. WE are here for you. Take advantage and lets do this right now. We have all lived to to tell you about it. My Very Best to you..........ike

[winthewar]

Sweetie I think I remember you are you the ones who's father was cooking it and brining it to you?  Have you gotten away from him? I no the pain your in its not gonna be easy but I had a 10 year meth addiction and I have been clean 10 years from the meth next month!  It can be done.  Are you getting sleep eat little bits at a time when you can healthy as you can.  I remember the guilt I felt was overwhelming I will help you however I can#  tell me what going on!?

[winthewar]

Sweetie are you there I have been where you are I no its scary but it can be done when was the last time you smoked?  How much did you smoke do you have anyone close to help watch over you right now please stay close to here and let us help you.

[winthewar]

Sweetie are you there I have been where you are I no its scary but it can be done when was the last time you smoked?  How much did you smoke do you have anyone close to help watch over you right now please stay close to here and let us help you.

[NeverAgain127]

I wondered what happened to you.

You need to listen to ms...you need medical attention honey.  Now.  

This line of your post:   I can't go to a doctor right now or hospital, out of the question.

Why?  Why is it out of the question?   If you were having an appendicitis attack and it was about to burst, you'd call 911, right?  Or drive straight to an ER...well, honey, it's that bad.   Blue hands is a bad sign...not enough oxygen in your blood.   It is a condition that warrants an emergency response.

I'm scared that you have not posted back.  Please check in with us.

-Robin

[gnarly_1]

Hey Girl  your hands are blue is a bad sign  you need to call 911 NOW the oxygen level in your blood is bottoming out  please get to the er

[sayl_3m]

I got away from him yesterday. I've moved away into a stable home and my roommate helped me have the courage and resources to get him out of my life, that also means quitting with no choice. I need to. I want to, unless I'm not high. Which I don't know if that makes sense. Roommate also force fed me basically. I don't know what's wrong with my arm but I can't lift it over three inches and there is a gap between shoulder joints openly visible. I'm scared of hospitals. My body still isn't fully functioning today but it is a bit better than yesterday. Feeling is my arms and legs are back. I just have so much I need to get done today it is almost unreal.. I'm sorry. I'm scared. I don't know if I can do this.

[NeverAgain127]

Hi Mark:  (please tell me I have your name right!)

I'm very, very worried about our friend here.   She and I have talked on the Abuse forum and she is in a bad situation.  It's times like these when I almost wonder what I'm doing here, because we are helpless when someone is in real trouble..

I'm going to pm you...

[NeverAgain127]

Sayl:  Honey, did you read the posts here?   We want to help you!  

Blue hands is a medical emergency.  If your oxygen level goes too low, you could die.   You cannot eat, you're in horrible pain, and I truly, TRULY think you need to be in a hospital setting.

I saw on your profile, for status you wrote "Death is the poor man's doctor."  Honey, that is WRONG.   Poor folks deserve medical treatment.  You are ONLY 22!!!!  You have children, right?  Family and friend that love you?  

It is time to surrender.  Your brain is not thinking rationally...TRUST US HERE...you need medical attention and you cannot wait or put it off any longer.   Go to a hospital, PLEASE.

Prayers and hugs...
-R.

[winthewar]

Ok Sara you have gotten away now take everyone's here advise and seek medical help now please. Don't worry about what needs done or if you feel a little better just go in and ask for help please.

[NeverAgain127]

Yes, I couldn't agree more.

I think the hardest part of getting help is that you cannot trust what your brain is telling you, and yet, you don't know that.  It's a vicious cycle.

Nothing matters except your health; we find out this truth so painfully sometimes.

I pray that Sara goes to a hospital.  I know you hate them, Sara...EVERYONE does.  But it is the right thing to do.  

[winthewar]

Yes never again I truly hope so also..she seems very fragile and in a state of meth use which may be why she won't go to hospital.  We are here for you but you have to help yourselve also my dear...please check in let us know how you area

[Seanimanadict]

I also agree with everyone please go to the e.r. that is nothing to play with its Russian roulette. We are here for you but can't make you do anything. The advice everyone gives is priceless and I haven't read anyone's advice that has been negative yet. Please listen to every one and get the medical attention you need,22 is so young but its also in your favor if you stop immediately and get help. You will most likely bounce back sooner than most. I'm not an expert as is wasn't my doc but yes I have had my fair share if a lot of drugs including meth or crank.  Don't worry about the weight worry about being healthy and getting your real life back together your only 22 and have so much ahead of you. Get clean and who knows maybe you will be able to help someone who was in your position one day on here. Also please stop talking about death that is scary, your not dead but may be possible if you give in I hate to say and there's no coming back from that trip. Sending prayers and strength your way ,Sean

[Jerry198]

I looked for you everyday since you posted a few weeks back, Many of us have been in your similar situation and made small steps towards recovery only to fall two steps back and give up so your not alone. you seem like you really want help but for some reason are unwilling to seek ER help well at the rate you are going things don't look good at 22 I thought FTW and it took a real good friend to help me out LONG STORY but it was his dedication that saved my life because I did not care anymore I was doing H at the time well let me tell you 30 years later I have done some amazing things I never thought I would ever do when I was high ... you get the picture life is here only once don't waste it get some help because what you are doing is digging for help so put down that wall of yours and get some real help tweakers always think they look amazing because they fit in a size 2 but in reality that's not the case what you are doing is starving and that's not pretty so take everyone advice and make it to 23 clean and sober please..

[msdelight]

Guys, let's say lots of prayers for this young lady. She pm'd me last night. Her situation is really really bad. She's being abused and she tried to take her life last night. Let's hope and pray she did not succeed. I hope she is safe in a hospital somewhere. God help her.

[nonights]

Saying lots of prayers. I hope she has found the strength to live! So young. So much promise. Please lord keep her safe.

[winthewar]

Prayers her way it breaks my heart to hear stories like this.  I hope she finds a way to happiness and away from the evil.  Ms d thanks for being there for her!

[winthewar]

Prayers her way it breaks my heart to hear stories like this.  I hope she finds a way to happiness and away from the evil.  Ms d thanks for being there for her!

[Quince30]

This is a very worrying situation.  OP, please get the help you need.  You truly are worth it!

[meegWpaw]

Sayl  I hope you are ok. all good things to you-- Meegan

[sayl_3m]

I am really sorry I an just now posting. I drank and over dosed and had a mini stroke? Apparently serially low blood sugar. So nearly died twice. Scares as hell, and I still can't manage to go to rehab. I feel like life will be the same as before, or worse. I'm literally killing my mother with my problems. One more attempt and I think she's done. I didn't want to die this time. Idk what happened. A little high a lot drunk. I feel like this is just life now. I look back sand it always seemed like a fun thing now it kinda supports me. And getting it for free is like a life style I have no problems maintaining. I'm still the soccer mom of your dreams daily. I've lost a serious amount of weight but people actually don't notice often. I've passed this off for so long, and I never really feel down except for the abuse e and wanting to leave.. I'm not allowed my medication anymore because that was my third attempt and I'm getting more and more afraid because of everything I just typed. I don't feel wrong. Like having a mini stroke and severe low blood sugar at 22 is normal. My hands turn blue, and my thumb cranks very seriously, can't move my fingers, I eat. Now even my fiance thinks I've quit, only my dad knows, and how I'm pretty much high anytime I'm alone hasn't been caught by now I'm nervous of what I could get away with. It's scary when I see how much worse I could get, and how much worse off I am than the first post I made. But I can't even fathom getting help. T therapy, psychiatry, always just ****** with my head. NA? God it's worse for me in there. I just can't even.. I used to tell myself I would never do it alone, that is what junkies do. Now I Wait for the moment u can be alone. It's pathetic. I'm sorry about this rant..

[Kristen2015]

glad you came back here.  what did you take to OD on?  i wasn't clear on that.  have you tried to stop the meth?  can you just flush it?   sorry for all the questions.  you need some support from people that don't do drugs and want to save your life.  can your fiance help you?

Please keep us updated.  been worried about you

[jifmoc]

Hmmm. That didn't make complete sense. Are you high now?

What is it that you are looking for? How can we help you?