Crack Hell!

[Kate]

I have just ended a year long relationship with a 15 year crack addict. He is the sweetest, smartest, most handsome man I have ever met. He is so gifted in so many ways. But he loves using more than anything in the world. I have spent 2 years of my salary on him, trying to get him clean. Two mental hospitals, four rehabs and six arrests later he is up to about a 3-4 hundred dollar a day habit. I know it has to come from within him and there is nothing else I can do. I would stay with him, if he would just stop the constant lying and cheating. Lies about everything and cheating with crack-whores and junkies.
What is it about Crack that would make someone want it more than your basic animal instincts of food, clothing & shelter. I have been tempted to try it just so I know the feeling. Any advice?

[missmae03]

WOW, I did not even see the 2000 HAHA thanks!

[missmae03]

me?

[missmae03]

The next couple of days on the news there was a person who stole a taxi - put a knife to the driver but the driver manage to run off. The cops were in the oppisite direction and the person saw and paniced and crashed into a semi-truck. IT WAS HIM... I checked my messages on nexopia the next day and it said "I'm going to downtown and smoke my sh*t and come to your house and kill you" the news said the driver was headed to the downtown core. THANK GOD he didn't make it to my house. The calls started coming in from jail. He would love me the next day and hate me the next. Then I started to avoid his calls and he accused me of cheating while he was in jail for 11 months. Now he is out of my life!!! EVERYTHING made so much sense when I found of he smoked crack. All the lies and all the time he was so violent with me.  GIRLS PLEASE GET YOURSELF OUT OF THIS SITUATION! ALL CRACKHEADS THINK ABOUT IS CRACK AND WANTING MORE AND MORE AND THEY WILL HURT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSEST TO THEM BECAUSE THOSE PEOPLE ARE THE ONES WHO USUALLY SUPPORT IT AND ARE SCARED TO LOOSE THEM.  This situation not only has effected my future but i think about him everyday, not because I still love him because I can't not forget him. all the places in calgary remind me of him. It hurts but I keep strong. You gotta look at it in a way where as you live and you learn. It has lowered my self esteem so much that I don't love myself. I can't get into a serious relationship because I can't trust any man. ONCE YOU DRAW YOURSELF AND SUPPORT SOMEONE WITH THIS DIRTY HABIT YOU WILL ONLY FEEL GUILT IN THE END - YOU WILL ONLY HATE YOURSELF AND IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF YOU CAN'T LOVE ANYONE ELSE. this goes for all users and NON users. CRACKHEADS can't LOVE ANYONE because they don't love themselevs to begin with they only love the high. US WHO DEAL WITH IT - hate ourselves because of what we put ourself through ... well STOP BEFORE YOU HATE YOURSELF EVEN MORE. I hate to say but you put yourself in this position - just like I put myself in mine. Just put your mind into it and you can do it. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. don't do it for someone who will ruin your life.
I hope this story encouraged all of you..

GOD BLESS!

[missmae03]

He would whine and cry to me about everything and how he lost his life.... I finally got rid of him the next day at 6 a.m in the morning. He kept calling and calling.... He told me to met him somewhere and I told him i would be there but I really didn't want to. I got my cousin to pick up my phone and tell him that I left my cell phone at home and that I was on my way and he said "you're a fu*kin liar" and hung  up. He called again and said he would come to my house if I wasn't there in the next hour. My cousin advise that I called the cops. So I finally had the courage to. I told them to met me across the street at the gas station. I told them the location and I stayed away from my house and told my brother to lock all the windows. He called my little brother and said "do me a favor and tell your sister she's dead" and hung up. the cops called me an hour later and told me they went to the location but he left 10 minutes before. AN HOUR LATER? it took 10 minutes to get there!!!. My cousin and I sat in my car parked til 4 a.m and we finally decided to  come home we were so scared to get out of the car in fear of him being there but he wasn't we slept in my brother's room cause we were so scared.

[missmae03]

I told him to stop and he finally left me alone. I had to go to the doctors cause he dislocated my jaw. I left him the next three days because it was the only available flight and i was not up to take the 24 ride back to calgary. I had to act like nothing was wrong with me those 3 days and his dad knew right when he saw me and took me to the doctors I had to lie and say I fell in the tub. He knew and before I iwas leaving to take my flight I told him and he told me I deserve someone who loves me and he was only going to ruin me. I left. After he had to courage to finally admit to me on MSN MESSENGER that he was smoking it in jail for those 11 months he was there cause he thought he would never get out. he told me he was coming back to calgary cause his dad and him got into a fight. he came back and called me and threated me saying if I didn't see him he would come to my house and kill my family. I was so scared of him that I didn't know what to do BUT see him because I knew he would actually come to my house and something WOULD happen for sure. So I met up with him and he wouldn't smoke it around me but he would be so depressed.

[missmae03]

He didn't get home til 6 a.m.. WHAT A JOKE!!! From that day I told him he needed to go back to his father (who lived in the Yukon - we were in Calgary at the time). I took the greyhound with him 24 hours long!! His Dad is a loving and understanding person and has had problems with my ex ever since he was 14. He helped me get a job and everything. I had to go back to calgary for my best friends birthday and I was even surpirsed he let me.  To make the story short - I got back there and he was smoking it right in front of me he would go to the corner and look back right and left and smoke from his damn water bottle pipe he made then after he would walk all over the house with a febrezze bottle which was replaced with water and soup and he would spray it all around the house (thinking it would take the smell away- YA RIGHT!!). the next day he was out - he was trying to feel up on me and have sex with me and i told him "you're so unattractive right now!! you don't think I know what you're doing" and he would look down and be like "i know" and then the next minute he would get so mad he would say "why are u not putting out what the FU*K is your problem"  then he grabbed my legs and dragged me all over the house and I ran to the washroom. He was banging on the door and he said if  I didnt come out he would have to break the door so I came out he punched me right in the jaw I literally saw stars and got knocked out for 2 seconds. I ran to the bedroom and he grabbed my jaw and pushed me aginist the wall and he told me to be quiet he threw me on the bed. I thought I was going to get raped. I started kicking him and he grabbed my legs and started to punch my stomach.