DOES IT EVER GET BeTTER

[bchief098]

Hello all my name is brandon and i am an addict.  It has only been 3 and a half days since my last perk, i feel that the only reason that is is bc i have no money right now.  I feel as if i dont go to rehab that my relapse is inevitable.  I want a perk every second of everyday i wake up (if i sleep).  I have been so emotional these past few days idk what to do.

[pink54]

I am in the process of trying to come off of the tramadol myself.  I never realized how bad this drug can be.  I am down to just one 50 mg pill at night but only have one pill left.  I am determined to beat this.  It is so encouraging to read your encouraging words.  Please tell me that in a few days I will feel like myself again.  I think I would just shoot myself if the wd symptoms don't go away.

[bchief098]

Yeah i have made the choice that im going to check myself into a rehab facility after the new year and make this my resolution.  I just want to spend the holidays with my family.

[stacey1979]

Its def. up to us to want to quit. Drugs are nothing but trouble in anyones life! It destroys the best of us! When we take the drugs it makes us mentally, emotionally, and physically not care about much of anything going on in our lives!
I hope you keep your decision to quit! It will def be worth every second. It takes a while to get your life back to normal but it does def happen! Its been 33 days for me and I think everything is starting to get back to normal! We just always have to remember not to let our guard down! Good Luck!!

[bchief098]

Thank you all for your support it is much appreciated.  @therealmattij, i completely understand, im so afraid of losing my emotional release for i have not been taking them just for fun.  I do have chronic back pain and im in pain each nd every day.  Im afraid if i dont have that ballance in my system i wont be able to handle situations rationally.  idk im just so confused on everything and just trying to take it day by day.  I have been takin atleast 6 30mg perks a day and sometime in excess of 15 more often then id like to admit for over a year year and a half.

[vicki595]

Brandon: How many Percocet do you take a day? For how long?

Saying you don't have them only because you're broke is so defeating. YOU have to WANT this and I think you do. That's how you found us...

You are not the only one who loved these things just because!  We've all been there along with the every second cravings! I promise you, that goes away quickly; it's just at a very high peak of intensity right now.

You have youth in your favor so you can most assuredly do this; no sweat!
Get to a meeting,group,therapist,anything!!  A trusted friend can support you right now so search someone out!

Keep in touch!

[ricart70]

Yes it definitely gets better than where you are at right now.Just don't take anymore pills.How long have you been using?  depending on that you could be feeling better in just a few days.Keep posting and let us know how you are.Good luck buddy!!

[therealmattj]

@bchief. Percs like you said will always be there! Forever. You can pop pills and your drug of choice any dat any time. Your instinct and intuition is telling and screaming at you that it's time for a break. It's time to break free from this mental slavery this mental prison. For me, sadly the main issue for relapsing is my fear of abandonment  my fear of breaking up with pills. It's like a friend that I love to death but know is bad and toxic for my life. I'm scared I'll never see this person(pills) ever again. Similar to a death. I find peace and tranquility when I convince myself that this friend will always be around and that I need now to take the time to make a comeback. To become again who I was. When I'm convinced of this I make two or three months goals and the TRICK is after around four weeks of being clean my mind changes and I loose that love for the pills. You are very fragile right now, all I'm saying is go two months no matter what and see if you change your mind. Meetings just feed wood to the fire so don't over look those. Just keep going my friend keep keep going and things will change. This is just my opinion.  Respect.

[littlebit010101]

Oh and yes it gets soooooo muccchhhhh bettttteerrr....I promise..

[littlebit010101]

Hey Brandon those emotions are u...believe it or not..we are such loving, kind, caring people...and those emotions have been hidden if should I say buried by drugs...embrace them, go with them and they will lead u back to Brandon a beautiful, loving and caring soul...best wishes my friend..

[saddy6]

Brandon - Hang in there my man as I think the answer to your question does it get better is a resounding yes! There are hundreds of people on here that are living proof that you can and will beat this but you have to be ready, willing and able to do so. There is just no worse feeling that the WD's coming off these evil pills and I've relapsed so many times and had so many day 1's that I questioned my sanity. I always said I could just beat it on my own but I proved that wrong so many times as the key is aftercare and talking to people about your problem. It allowed me to dig deep and really figure out why I was taking these things despite being well past all my surgeries and medical issues. I would take them to avoid WD symtoms as no amount gave me that high anymore. Take it one day at a time and do what you need to do in order to beat this. You will sleep again, smile again and enjoy life again sober.

[bchief098]

I do not have the means no insurance.  I have been attending meetings the past 2 days and im doing everything in my power not to fall back into the hole.      Im just struggling as we all have.  And getting the perks isnt the problem i could get them i just cant bring myself to do it.

[notanymoreever]

Hey Brandon, Right now is a great time to change your mindset and focus on leaving these alone. You're young enough that you don't want to wake up ten years from now as a pill junkie. At almost four days, you've passed through the worst of the withdrawals, why not make it a mission to get clean? If you don't, you're just going to be at this juncture again and again.

Change your focus from jonesing for a pill to how much time you've passed without one. You already know there's a problem- now's the time to deal with it. I promise there's light at the end of the tunnel and there's life that's better without the pills. It's all in your head and somewhere you have the power to fight it and control it. Now's the time to dig deep and find it! Good luck.

[beardflames]

well it sounds like you know what you should do, that being go to treatment. do you have the means to go to treatment? insurance. do you have any type of positive support group? you could atleast start with attending some NA meetings. are you ready to quit or is it really just that you are out of percs?