ANOTHER AWESOME REASON TO QUIT!!!

[Andie015]

Hello again!  I just wanted to post this in hopes of giving those who most need it even more motivation to stick with it and succeed. My daughter is sick so I had to take her to the doctor today...the same practice that I got all of my pills from. I haven't been there since I went to detox 3 months ago and the only info the doctor knew was not to prescribe narcotics, because I had the pharmacy tell him. I had a little anxiety going...what would happen if I saw him?  Once I got there I realized I had nothing to fear...I realized I can walk in there with my head held high knowing I have nothing to be embarrassed for. No phone calls with phony stories for pills, no just showing up and requesting scripts... Nothing. I saw the doctor, said hello and walked on by. Then I had to get her rx at the pharmacy that I used to get all of my pills from...first time back there too...they all knew me as a pill popper. Again with embarrassing phone calls about how long my pills would take, has the dr called them in yet.... Again I walked in not with shame but pride in myself and my accomplishments... I have realized today one more awesome reason to quit...the return of your SELF RESPECT and SELF PRIDE!!! And d@$n it feels good!!  To realize this has returned is such a gift to me as it should be for all of us...everyone just starting out...the rewards are so plentiful when your sober...it's indescribable!!!!

[Andie015]

I feel like a hypocrite preaching this....I know where I stand with him now. I'm not letting this get me down now...no matter what he has to say...I'm in this for myself and my kids....that's all that's important....

[OpenMind24hours]

That's a wonderful benefit of getting clean to point out. In our groups here in Detroit we read "The Promises", which states among other benefits: "Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change"  Like you mentioned, that attitude starts with self respect, being able to hold our head up. It's a wonderful feeling and spirit that you're now experiencing. By sharing that on here it gives everyone in recovery who reads it HOPE. Thanks for sharing!

[FourJays]

You are NOT a hypocrite, just human with some heightened emotions(thank you very much pills - just another of the many gifts they leave with us is recovery).  At least you do FEEL now and are not numb to the world around you.  You have come a very long way . . . . it is ok to have some bad moments (and I'm sure there will be more ahead, we know it's not going to be easy - but SO worth it).  Hang in there . . .

[Andie015]

Sorry... Not IRS!!!!  I meant its...made me laugh...thank god...

[Andie015]

Sorry...husbands eyes...it kills me that I haven't. But for all newbies, and that's not a derogatory term by any means, just know that this is reality...trust is a hard thing to get back...IRS absolutely damaging to relationships. All I can say is I know I've been totally honest and trustworthy but it takes time to build that up again...

[Andie015]

Thanks guys...it takes another addict to understand me...I feel like a hypocrite preaching positivity when I'm on my bathroom floor crying like a baby. I thought I had come further in my h

[FourJays]

I can So feel for you - I've had very similar experiences.  I'll have a really good day and get a lot done, then my husband gives me "the look" when he gets home from work (like, the "did you get pills look").  I don't know your situation, but my husband, while very supportive since I have come clean with the whole addiction thing, has never had one himself and therefore will never really truly understand.  They mean well, they just love and worry about us.  Please don't let it overshadow the wonderful experience you had earlier today.  It will take time, but you will show him . . . and all the world too!

[gettingoff]

LOVE your story. Thank you so much for posting. I just read about your husband and I am sure he loves you...even our closest peeps can say things that hurt. They are only human. We have all blurted stuff out that can be painful. Don't let any of that take away your wonderful feeling and accomplishment! Keep up the wonderful work!

[Andie015]

So get this...I have 3 kids who are sick with the stomach flu...terrible for anyone to deal with. They are at the tail end of this so I cleaned our house from top to bottom...scrubbing and cleaning everything to get rid of germs. My husband came home from work and actually asked me if I got pills today...because I went to the doctors office today...and was cleaning like crazy, unbelievable.  I suppose this is a normal reaction given my history...but it broke my heart...I guess I still have a ways to go to prove myself  :(

[Andie015]

Everyone is so awesome around here!!!  You all have helped me as much as you say I've helped you. Thank you so much... I am very humbled....

[FourJays]

What a great post - it is so motivating and so true!  Self respect is really under-rated; one of the things I lost for a long, long, time.  It is empowering to feel this starting to return . . . . thank you for the inspiration for me and so many others!

[killerzoey]

That's awesome!!!

[selfinduced]

Such an important point. We seem to lose our self worth and soul when using and seeking. Sometimes it seems we'll never get them back, but you've proved it. Love it!

[toothfairie]

thanks for posting!  i am getting some of that self respect back as well....it's been a tough road at times....but i'm getting there! thanks for the inspiration!  

[Andie015]

Thanks so much everyone... It's really touching that what I have to say is heard and appreciated!

[greatescape13]

Great post!  Ive been rooting for you, always love what you have to say!

[MIkanik]

Today is day 3 for me and it's so wonderful to hear success stories and positive posts like this! <3  

I just got back from the ER and have scared my family to death.  The doctor was courteous and only told my partner I had the flu. In fact, the doctor kinda thought I do have the flu and it's just a coincidence.  Apparently someone isn't very versed in withdrawal!  

I digress, stories like this just make me so excited for days to come....even if I'm feeling crappy or whatever!  The days ahead are MINE....the TRUE ME.  Just like you were feeling!  Thank you so much for this post! <3

Blessings and keep up this awesome journey you're on...called CLEAN LIVING! <3

[Teresa1717]

What a great post and so true!! Now instead of them looking at you as a drug seeker or addict, they look at you as someone who has taken their life back!! Definitely a great feeling!! :)

Thanks for sharing and continuing to inspire...

[weaver71]

I love it and love that feeling you're describing. I was told I would have to take a drug test 2 wks ago at a job interview. I lifted my chin up high, looked them in the eye, and said, "No Problem." 7 months ago I would have walked out with my chin hanging low. Freedom at last!! Great inspiration Andie, Thanks.