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Avatar universal

Day 1

Hello everyone.  Well today is my first day with no lortab.  I have been taking anywhere from 1-5 7.5 a day (if i had them)  I am ashamed of the person I have become.  I have been stealing them from my husband.  It's hard to say and admit that.  My husband's refill got down to 5 pills, I got nervous, because I knew he would find out.  So, I called the doctor, asked for a refil on his, picked it up, put about 25 back in his, and kept the rest for my own fix.  This all happened last Friday.  The problem was, they told me at the doctor that he had to make an appt for the next refill. Of course, this made me buts, trying to figure out how I was going to tell him that.  I almost had a feeling that something bad was going to happen, and it did.  He made an appt yesterday, called me afterwards and asked, did you refill one of my prespcriptions?  Of course I admitted it up, he said he would be right home.  We talked about it, and he was so understanding about it, upset yes about all the lying and stealing, but more worried that I was this addicted.  I begged him to try and let me do this on my own, I had before, and yes it made me so sick, but I could do it.  But he said, you started back and I'm worried so please think about it.  I didn't want to go to my regular doctor, because I felt ashamed, and all of the people I know in that office go to my church.  But I decided to go, and though it was the hardest thing I have ever done, ironically, it was the biggest relief.  

Now, while today is my first day, I feel upbeat, my secret has been exposed, and I feel like I can breathe again.  These pills took over my life.  It all started with a hysterectomy 2 years ago, and ever since then I have become a totally different person.  But I feel as if my mind is set to beat this.

My questions are on the medication he gave me to help me with the withdraws.  Wondering if any of you have any expereince with these and if they helped.  He wrote me:

Clonidine HCL 0.1    
Promethazine 25 mg  (for nausea)
Klonopin (Clonazepam)

I also want to all of you to know, I feel for you, your struggle, I hate these pills, and while I hated the way this all came about, I feel good knowing that finally my husband knows, and that he is helping me get through this.  It's funny, we are about to celebrate 10 years of marriage, and I love him more now than before.  I pray that you all get through this, I pray you find the strength to ask for some help.  thanks for letting me vent.
Best Answer
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
What a great thing you did for yourself by being honest.  Secrets just keep us sick.  

Make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids during wd.  Try and get up as much as you can and move around.  Getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hard one.  Have you thought about any type of aftercare??  Keep it going, one day a time~~~~~~Your doing great!!            sara
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much!!!!
Helpful - 0
617347 tn?1331293081
Hi..welcome to the forum :)

as you have already been given very good advice, i wanted to show you my support,,... come on, you can do it too !!!!! keep being so positive.

and congrats on your 2 day and This_big, congrats on your 21 days, well done :)

it is really good that people going through wds support each other as you are doing!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
haha....funny I called you "big this" before.....LOL

still managing to keep busy...cleaning out drawers....washing curtains, I actually moved my whole bedroom around to clean under furniture....I'm CRAZY!  The cool thing is....on the lortabs....I never had the energy to get anything done....but I can feel the old me coming back.

Breaking the the tab in half did help, I don't feel so lethargic and sleepy.  The more I'm doing, the better I feel!  :)   I am determined to make it to where you are.....:)  I can't wait to look back at 21 days.  As for me....no...this is day 2.  It's not much I know.....but it's better than popping them again, ya know?

I am only taking the Klonopin  when I need them, no worries with that.  Sheww....I'm breaking in them half!   LOL

I'm really glad that your doing so well....glad that your feeling better.  I am preparing myself for the worst tomorrow now...thanks "this big"  LOL

While I am doing good keeping myself busy....I'm finding a very hard time focusing on my homework....(ugh)  I tried to read my Ethics book today...and thought I would loose my mind.......

I appreciate you keeping in touch with me, letting me wear you out with all my questions....it just feels good to vent all my feelings.  I even took advantage of the journaling offered here.....helps a lot.  Again...thanks for all your encouragement!

Cris~

Helpful - 0
753324 tn?1457819192
  You WILL feel sluggish. There really is no way to avoid that. But know that after day3-4 it gets a whole lot better each day. Unfortunately nothing will totally get rid of w/d symptoms.( believe  me I have looked). Just take them and treat them as they come. I dont know what all you are going to have to go through, everyone is different. For me the mental part and lack of sleep was the worst. I'm sure you have read other posts on all the things that help..USE THEM. In the past i had the attitude that herbal crap wouldnt work for me, and to be honest i cant say that any one thing has done the trick. But this time i figured what the hell they damn sure cant hurt...right?  And  hear i am @ 21 days...3 WEEKS. Somethings working..?.?.

  Clonidine and smoking...IDK..look at it like a bonus..lol. I smoke alot while not in w/ds(2 packs a day), and ive been up to 2 1/2- 3.So i smoke more...

  " no major withdraws so far "...Thats awsome..Day 2 is when i went to the ER. I was a mental basket case..lol.(real bad off). Tomorrow will probably be the worst for you. And you probably wont get to much sleep tonite. Just get some movies and prepare for it. The RLS is what kept me from sleep in the past. I tried everything this time(everything together) Hylands restful legs,Tonic water(which tastes like crap. I mixed juice w/it and wasnt so bad.) Bananas,exercise( I swam about an hour before i wanted to try and lay down.) I have to say the RLS was mostly mild to moderate this time.

  "but I need to get my butt back up and get busy." Keep that attitude. I think that will be your biggest help. Even if you feel like crap and have to say out loud to yourself. GET YOUR *** UP...DO IT.

  How do i feel right now.....I can honestly say today i feel great!! Not 100% but really really really good :) Sleep seems to get better every night. Its been up and down over the past 2 weeks or so, but def improving every day. No cravings to speak of,they go as quickly as they come....All in all i really feel as if the world has lifted off my shoulders.

I was just curious on what mg they were. It not a good or bad thing..lol. The two mg ones knock my *** out.I usually only took 1mg. Remember  only take them when you need them. You might need them for more than five days. I wish i had a few more xanax then i had. But you can also call your DR...i didnt really have that option. As far as i know if you take as prescribed and not for a long time. The addiction thing wont be an issue. Some may disagree..IDK.

Well it really sounds like you have an up-beat attitude towards this, keep that up and the worst will be over before you know it:) Keep posting and reading here, its helped me alot..What time of day will be day 3 for you? Do you know?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
oohhh....forgot!  lol   The klonopin is 1 mg.....what does that mean? good/bad?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks man....I did just that, I broke it in half...though (still pretty sluggish)...but managing to take my frustrations out on cleaning windows and getting my house back in order.  

I have another question for you, does the clonodine help with not smoking?  Because I am not wanting to do that either (which is very odd for me)  I'm a total mess ain't I?  LOL

No major withdrawls so far....just feeling so tired.....but I need to get my butt back up and get busy.:)   ...just stopped long enough to eat something...though my appetite is barely nothing....

Thanks again for all your support and advice....I sent you a note on congrats to 21 days!!  Very proud of you.  hey...can I ask you a question though?  How do feel at this time?  

Helpful - 0
753324 tn?1457819192
  What mg is the Klonopin? Yes you can break it in 1/2 or even 1/4. Yeah benzos (Klonopin,xanax) make me feel that way too. But they do help when your anxiety starts doing karate kicks. Before going through w/ds i only took them to sleep(turn my head off). For me Klonopin isnt as strong as xanax. Only take them as needed for anxiety or whatever it says on the bottle. Dont just take it to take it. Benzos ar fairly fast acting.(for me anyway.) If they make you sleep thats not a bad thing...trust me. The clonodine I think is only suppose to be taken every 12 hrs and NO MORE than that for it lowers your blood pressure.(again read your bottle,im no DR).

  Again as far as them being addictive...You should be ok w/only a 5 day supply, just be aware and careful. As far as i know the only other meds for w/d are far more addictive(sub,methadone) IDK though.

  You were taking a small dose everyday HOPEFULLY your w/ds will be minimal. Only time will tell. Just dont give up the worst will pass in the next few days.

And your doing one of the best thing you can, and thats keeping busy. No matter how bad you feel try not to just sit around and mope. Best of luck. You WILL do this.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ok I finally took the klonopin last night after dinner ( my first dose)  and I felt crazy, I was idxxy, stumbling around, what the heck did they give me????!!!!!!  I don't want anything talking me out of my mind.  While yes, they didn't make me think about my old faithful friend.....but I was passed out within 1 hour.....I have never felt like that when I was on Lortab!

Why would they have given me something addictive?!!  

But on a positive note.....I woke up at 6:30 this morning (not thinking about Lortab)  I decided to take my first step in changing my routine. Normally I would chew a pill first thing in the morning, drink my coffee and play on the computer....lol   Instead, this morning I got up, got dressed and took my dog for a walk, came home messed around in the garden, and then drank some coffee.  I'm feeling pretty upbeat. I am praying that my energy will increase today.  Even though I was so tired yesterday I managed to bake a chicken with basil, made a yummy cake, and put up 10 pints of pickles.  

This_Big- what if I broke the Klonopin in half, would that help me?  My nerves are a bit rattled......

Thank you all for kind words of encouragement.....and I pray for each of your stories...and that we can all together keep each other accountable....I love you guys already and don't even know you!  :)
Helpful - 0
753324 tn?1457819192
YES benzos (klonopin,xanax)can be very addictive. I agree w/GA Guy(even though his profile pic is of UGLY or what ever that dogs name is..GO GATORS..srry had to throw that in there;}) I think the DRs should inform patients of the dangers. I know about them and to be honest dont like benzos so i think i'll be alright.I think w only 5 days worth you will be fine..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow, well it wasn't a hysterecotomy that had me double dosing on my pain meds but hemmoraghic cysts instead.  When I was first diagnosed with them back in Feb, my Doctor told me it was OK take take a couple extra pills for the pain and that all I would have to do is call in for my refill.  What he didn't tell me was that the whole time I was taking extra pills for my pain, I was also building up my tolerance very quickly....so when it became appararent that the meds were not working anymore, I was also starting to discover from my own research how devastatingly addictive they are and finding out exactly how they work.  I got scared and immediatly told my Doctor I felt I was starting to have a problem with my pills...he didn't seem at all concerned at the time and even filled me early the next month.  It wasn't until I ran out and ended up going to see him while in full withdrawal that he admitted that I had a problem and I asked him about getting on a weaning program.  
I am sorry I don't have any ideas about the medications he wrote you to help you with the withdrawal but this is an excellent place to start your research.  I am so happy they didn't give you suboxone or something like that.  My Doctor first brought this medicine up to me a couple months ago and said we would discuss it more at a later date....but I decided to check it out myself and did some research...boy how glad I am that I did too.  If it wasn't for that, than like many others, I would have went ahead and asked to be put on that instead of trying to wean off them and now I would have a whole new problem.  The weaning program is working out really good so far.  I just posted about that and explained what is going on with my Doctors Office about my refill.  This problem I am having is very frustrating and nerve wracking...but I need to keep my strength and not cave in for any reason.
I am happy to hear that your Husband is so understanding about it.  Good Luck and God Bless.  Just remember we are all here for you so let us know how you are doing and if you need any help.
Helpful - 0
753324 tn?1457819192
I only got 15 of each the clonidine was evry 12hrs and the xanax was every 6hrs as needed(i took one xanax every 6hrs). So i only had them the first few days. But i went to the ER because i have no insurance and the DR was... i'll just not very understanding...it was late day 1 early day 2. Kinda wish i had enough xanax to get me though a day or two more, but it wasnt really all that bad.
Helpful - 0
222369 tn?1274474635
Klonopin is extremely addictive. I'm always amazed at how doctors prescribe benzos for withdrawal without warning the patient of the dangers so they can make the decision to take them. Just be very careful with it...it can create a whole new set of problems.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey.....thanks for the info on what you've been through.  So the Klonopin is for my nerves?  basically anxiety?  there not addictive also are they?  Because that's the last thing I need!!

20 days?!!  THAT'S GREAT!!!!  So, are you still taking the meds he gave you to help?  because he only gave me 5 days worth, is that enough?

I love reading that your 20 days in.....very proud of you....only I (and the rest of us here) can truly appreciate that.  I pray that I make it 20 also....:)   I can't wait to say that.....

thanks for you advice and kind words.....best of luck to you....!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yea, I saw that also about the hysterectomy....very werid....

I'm hoping for an improved life.....but right now....I just feel SO tired....I have no energy....I am trying very hard to keep busy....but i am bascially pushing myself to do it.   I hate this feeling!!!  But here's to feeling like normal soon!! :)   thanks for your post.....where are you with taking them?  
Helpful - 0
753324 tn?1457819192
Hi, I too was rx'd clonidine 0.1mg along w/xanax, which i hate, i would have much rather had klonopin. But im grateful i was even given these. I think they helped tremendously those first few days as far as the mental part goes. I just passed the 20 day mark from taking 15-20+ hydro/oxycodone a day.(by far the longest i have made it) I really believe these two meds got me through those first few days. Im not going to say it was easy this time(this being one of many), but i will say on a mental level it was WAY easier. I have done just about everything this time(Thomas Recipe,all the OTC stuff,bananas,tonic water,out side the Amino proto...Everything!...lol) And really can't say for sure one thing helped more than another, BUT i can say i had the most noticeable relief within just a half hour of taking the first doses. I would highly recommend to anyone that has gone through this multiple times and not tried it to talk to a DR. Best of luck...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Great post. You sure are headed in the right direction. I just checked in this morning and the first two posts are about addiction that started or became worse after a hysterectomy. It is stunning to me because although I had been on mild pain meds for neck problems for years, it wasn't untill my hysterectomy that I developed a bad problem with strong narcotics. Sure seems like a strange coincidence. You will have such an improved life if you get off the pills, and it sounds like you have a good strong marriage. It will be unpleasant for a while, but keep up the good work!
Helpful - 0
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