Day 3, does it get worse? Opiate abuse PLEASE HELP!

[Jammerson1906]

I am on day 3. My God I truly did not think I would make it. Last night was horrible! AM I over the hump, or is the worse to come? I was taking 100mg Oxycodone, for about 3 months. Hydrocodone before that, total of about 7 months. I am not really having any "cravings" just sooooo depressed, and sick, scared.
I feel so ashamed and alone.
ANYYY help or advice would be appreciated. I do not have insurance, so do not have a dr. to turn to. Was buying them off the street. Have back pain, but the meds were not working anymore. Knew I had to quit, it was not about the pain anymore.
PLEASE HELP!

[Jammerson1906]

Thank you for your kind words. The shame, the depression are overwhelming. How, at my age, did I let this happen. How, with 2 teenagers to raise, did i let this happen?

My husband is my rock......He is learning not to try and "fix" it. Just sit with me, hold me, and he tells me 100 times a day "you can do this. you are amazing, and you are the strongest woman I know."

Maybe, just maybe, your longterm bf would understand. Those that love us, love us through our downs, as much as our ups. Never felt so down in all my life....this has been almost unbearable!!!
My heart is with you too....
We are worth it....we are strong and we are worth it!

[acalicutie]

I just wanted to say congratulations for your progress so far - you will continue to make more each day.  And kudos to you for declining your friend's offer of a Dilaudid - I'm sure it was tempting, though.

Since you are lucky enough that your family knows, talk, talk, talk to them - it will help so much with the guilt and depression - I've been addicted to painkillers off/on (mostly on) for over 20 years, with this "relapse" being the worst (12-17 10/325 Norco a day - I am so ashamed of myself) - all symptoms of withdrawals are tough, but for me, it's the depression/guilt - suicidal sums it up very well for me.  I have a long-term boyfriend, but he doesn't know about my problem - the only person who knows is my 16-year-old daughter, and I talk to her, but there are some things I just can't tell her.

Anyway, I just wanted again to say keep up the great work - you will be okay.

Take Care!

[Jammerson1906]

I feel down, i get on here...and i know, again," I got this!!"
Just now dealing with the runny nose, nausea, and chills and sweats. But, my depression is not as bad. I literally wanted to die! How terrifying that is, that was!
I made dinner for my family.....That felt good. They see me slowly moving forward. I am scared for tonight.
I have a perscription for Xanax, I take one a night to sleep. Have for the past year. I have been taking 1/2 a pill twice a day, yesterday and today to help with the anxiety. I think it did help a little. So scared to take anything at this point....
Had my very best friend offer to bring me Dalotad (sp? sorry), just a few to take the edge off. Her heart was in the right place, she is so upset for me. I told her NO WAY! I have gone 3 days, no way am I going backwards.
Your words, mean so much.....
Day 1 and 2 felt sooooo alone. Not so much tonight. Thank you all my new friends. There is SO much shame in this!!!

[worried878]

You will survive.and u r close to feeling much better
ur time of use was not that long compared to most here..and ur dose is do-able....
what r doing to help urself be comfortable thru this?

[LeaAnn807]

So proud of you!  Keep going.  It is almost over for the physical part.  Then just grab some NA meetings, and you will be on the road to recovery!!!  You are doing so great to just be getting OUT today!  Yaay.....great job!  And keep posting for encouragement, questions or support.  I could not have gotten over a month now without the help of people here!!!

TH

[Regretful239]

Day 3-4 are the worst - so, smile you made it!

[Darrin83]

After day three its all down hill from there... everyday u should be in general feeling better. Ive come off oxys methadone and heroin a couple years ago and my life is so much better now i can think better physically feel better and after learning to deal with my emotions feel better about my self and not be so numb like the opiates created. so u have alot to look forward too :) One day an hour, one minute at a time your creating a better future for your self by getting off. Wish u the best you'll be in my heart tonight :) U can do it even when u think u cant just let it pass :)

[Jammerson1906]

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!
For even taking a minute out of your day to help me.....
My son just left for football and on the way said "you got this mom!"
God, I am so blessed.
Just reading what you write has helped, more than I can possibly begin to tell you. I felt like i was alone. How did i let this happen? My husband and both children were aware, nothing to hide here. My back has been an issue, much worse over the last 6 months. My son did not think i should stop, why stop mom- you dont do it to get high. But, I explained that the pain was still there, and i was taking SOOO MUCH. Obviously there was a problem. Hope they see me and learn a lesson. They are my life. Am I hurting them by being honest??? I guess I just have to go with my gut.....
Thank you again, all of you. And I hope when I get to day 10 or day 102, I can be some comfort to someone.
Pray for me tonight. I am so scared I will have a repeat of last night!

[Radiostar55]

WTG on day 3..The worst will be over soon..I know you have no insurance but try to get to a clinic and see if you can get something for Aniexty..You havn't been on them that long so the fatigue and depression may not last as long..I was also on oxycodone for 3 years 120mg a day..I am 102 days clean  If Mr Addictive Personality can do it so can YOU!!  Hang in there and Keep Posting

G

[lori5997]

It WILL get better, it will get much better, hang in there, and post as often as you can. I'm only on day 10 or so but others will be on that have a lot more time clean.  It feels like it will never end but it does and it's so worth it, try vallerian root tea and melatonin, they really helped me, also lots of vitamins and minerals (look up the Thomas Recipe) I'll be thinkin of you, and just know that you'll be ok!!