Day 9 and feeling better

[Pollyanna7]

Hi all, I am on day 9 and this morning for the first time since I went CT I didn't mind getting out of bed to face the day. The past 8 days I had to force myself up and the dreaded going to bed at night. Last night I had a hard time sleeping but I think it was from all the adrenaline packing. I honestly think that is why I feel better today because I have been pushing myself to pack and been busy busy- that and God. This morning I have energy and mild craving, not unbearable. The wonderful things about no pills:
No counting pills or worrying I am going to run out.
I am not dwelling the pills all day, I actually only think of them when a surge of emotion hits me and I think take a pill I am feeling something! But then after I say NO deal with it.. deal with emotion at the time, it fades.
My face look so different and I am losing weight.
I have joy in my heart and laugh and laugh again

[Bootyfluffer]

This makes me so glad to hear! Im a little behind you,at 5 days) and im feeling amazing. I have soo much energy idk what to do with it. The activity i love to do the most i cant do because of my knee injury so its been hard to keep busy lately:( ive been listening to lots of music and makes me feel wonderful inside:) keep chugging we can do this!

[Pollyanna7]

There are a few things I learned to day on day 8. My mind is my worst enemy and I I need to find a support after care group ASAP. I am still drug free! BUT my mind was lying and lying to me all afternoon and early evening. Saying" take one pill, one pill wont hurt, you got this kicked, your not addicted anymore".. well if I am not addicted anymore why do I want pain pills when I have no bad pain to speak of? wow my mind was a smooth talker.. but I didn't give in. Hooray. I prayed and asked God for a way out of this thought process that was wreaking havoc on me. I just started thinking I don't want to wake up tomorrow and had taken pills again. As hard as it is to go to bed and sleep and then get up, there is such wonderful satisfaction that the day before I stayed clean even with all the temptation. Every day is better! but my mind is my problem right  now. God Bless us

[SJS49]

Soon your mind will forget all about your little "friends" that kept you company so many years. My mind forgot them after day 9 or 10...I can't even remember. It's weird because my body and mind don't even feel like I ever took pills at all. Maybe I'm some sort of freak of nature. Maybe I was more dependent on them than addicted. I'm not really sure what the difference is, but I just totally feel like me. There are online NA meetings you can look into if you don't know where to physically go to one yet. I sat in on one the other day, I realized that group is not for me...I need to find something else.

[Pollyanna7]

I am so happy for you that you feel so good. Its funny I feel so much better in so many ways but still struggle wanting the pills to help me deal with stress. After the terrible WD hell I don't ever want to go back. I just have to learn to deal with feeling life. I know it will get better. Thanks for info about NA on line, I didn't know it was an option. I have been on pills for 10 years and was off them last year for 9 months then relapsed. I lied to myself that I could take one here and there and before you know it I was taking more than I did before. Thankful for today..no pills in me

[SJS49]

Have you talked to your doctor about getting something, that is not a benzodiazepine and that is non-addictive to help with stress? My doctor gave me hydroxyzine...I had taken Ativan off and on for 20 years (I never got addicted to it and never had withdrawals from it because I didn't take it every day and would go months and months without needing it), but it started making me very tired to where I couldn't function so he gave me hydroxyzine, which doesn't help as well as the Ativan, but it definitely helps when I get stressed or anxious to calm me down a little. I also took my norcos for 10 years, off and on, but I quit taking them with no problems, no withdrawals, no cravings no nothing last year after I had my baby for 7 months but the heavier he got and the more active I had to be with a baby exploring the world, the more and more my back hurt so I started taking them again. I've never taken them for fun or recreational use or to relieve stress (I do have a friend though that said they reduce her stress greatly). But I do know now that I have more control than I think I did, and if I absolutely had to take them like I did a couple weeks ago for abscess tooth, I have the ability to tell the doc I want LESS than I would usually have. They are nasty little things, but they help when needed for pain.

[gnarly_1]

Hey Girl  9 days is ausum!!!!.....your doing really well.....as for the cravings it can happen to any one of us at any time....your not responsible for the craving...your responsible for the res ponce...this is why we push aftercare so hard on the forum....most addicts need to learn what to do and how to handle cravings  some people never get them others do ive been clean for quit some time but im bipolar and when it acts up like not sleeping for 3 or 4 days that is when I get them.....my doctor said I was self medicating for years....the N/A progam works for me I have lots of friends to call when my mind is in a bad place anyway the next step is to get involved with aftercare I have tryed most but N/A has been the magic bullet for my recovery it addresses not only the cravings but all the other behaviors addicts face if you havent been to a meeting yet google a meeting near you and go....anyway keep posting for support
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<