Day 1 again

[plymouthgirl]

For all that has been on this forum for the past 2 to 3 mouths knows about what has happened in my life. I was 60 days clean then my whole world fell apart. i thought i was handling it ok but I wasn't.I started to use again the last part of july. so the means i have used for september and 4 days of october.well flushed what I had left last night after I  took 3 during the day.I took 1 at 6 pm then flushed 50 norco down the toliet.I'm so sick of this cat and mouse game I play with myself that i just can't take it anymore.I was 60 days and going strong then my cousin was murdered he was 8 years old.they finally arrest his mom and step dad. That gave my hope. So Day 1 today but my hopes are strong and so am I. I just hope by Friday that I'm feeling better we are going camping and hunting and leaving Friday and staying a week.I think I will be the worst should be over be Wensday or Thursday.Thanks for listning Plymouthgirl

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

Just an update:  

HAVE A REALLY GOOD TIME on your CAMPING ADVENTURE...

it will be ALOT of FUN
and (other then my being REALLY jealous)
YOU will have A GREAT TIME!

What a GREAT time of YEAR to go camping... Fall is IN THE AIR....(remember to BREATH it ALL in)

Just think of it as a GREAT cleansing experience..
for your MIND.. BODY & SPIRIT!  
(and please have a S'More for me)

Love, Hugs and Prayers,

NorcoQueenoftheUniverse

[beatingthis]

Welcome back!

Really glad you are here! Sounds like you gonna do great!
We are all here for you no matter what OK?

Head up you can do this!!

Terry

[Mememe79]

Sorry about your cousin. Keep your head up and keep trying. I'm at day nine off of methadone right now. Dealing with death of children is never easy especially when they are close to you and even more so it seems to keep popping excuses into my head as to if I go take some methadone, then the physical parts of this will at least stop. Last November my daughter died and she was only four weeks old, her birthday would be Wednesday so that has been running though my head especially since we always do the kids b-day parties the weekend before there b-day. It was hell this weekend while I'm sick and going through withdrawal and my wife is reminding me of every minute we spent with our daughter and that her 1st party would have been this past weekend. I realized yesterday I still had a dozen of my methadone doses bottled up. I actually had to have a friend come and get them out of here to prevent me from screwing up and taking it. I got my methadone from the clinic as well, once they get you under 20 mg they usually try to put you on suboxone, you should be very careful if thats the case, you might end up switching one drug for another. I wanted to do the program through the clinic but they seem to want to drag this out and are convinced it takes a year to a year and a half. I'm just not that patient. Keep your head up and hang in there, if you take another dose your just going to start this wonderful of withdrawal all over again. I know its easier said than done but if your already in withdrawal than just keep going. It ***** but its either going to happen now or next time you try to stop. I'm hoping that "next time" doesn't come for any of us.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I would rather see you back under different circumstances......but its good that you did make it back.  And I am jealous of your camping trip - it should be a great weekend for getting out!  Take full advantage of the opportunity.........

[Memory222]

Oh sweetheart....what a tragic, horrible event. I'm new here. I'm on day 3 W/D from Vicodin. This site is my saving grace. You take care and I hope your time in nature fuels your spirit......God bless you

[fengirl09]

Glad to see you back. I know you are strong enough to do it and make it work. We are all here if you need us and again....WELCOME BACK

Vickie

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

Oh.. Bless your heart.. and.. although I don't know of you or your situation I DO know that I'm proud of you for FLUSHING the DEMONS.. (gives you a sense of EMPOWERMENT).. a BIG ole' YIPEE YAHOO for YOU!

Just keep MOVING forward.. Every day gets better and I think the idea of you going camping will be refreshing to your mind.. body.. and Spirit... It's a NATURE thang...
(like Yule Gibbins said...."ever eat a pine cone??? some parts are edible")
Shows you how OLD I am.. oh my gosh!


Keep posting.. too.. cuz we all care about you....

[dominosarah]

Way to go!!!  We know that the wd's are the easy part.  You sound good and positive this time.  Your camping trip will be good for you.  Exercise and fresh air.....I am really happy you are back......now stay here girl!!!              sara

[plymouthgirl]

I remember the nights.LOL I flushed every single one. There is not a  pain pill in the house.YAAA    Yes I know the drill and I'm ready for it. for me the first 2 day is the worst then i start to feel better on the 3rd.So hopefully this Friday I will be ready for the champing trip.It might be only day 1 but I'm back on track. I'm not going to treat it like withdraws. I think mentally that makes its it worse.I'm going to go on like nothing is wrong. I'm not going to count minutes or hours. Plymouthgirl

[Axl_0113]

Sorry to hear about your cousin.  I'm sure you know he is in a much better place now...

I think it's the hard times like this that our strength is really tested.  Don't feel bad....just consider it a bump in the long road to happiness.  Cheer up and dont be hard on yourself...

Good Luck!

[dominosarah]

I am really happy to see you back here.  You and i spent some "nights" together!!!  Now it is time for you to get yourself back on track girl.....Did you flush all of them including the ones that were locked up??  I hope so.  You know the drill with the wd's, they will be what they will be.  Any aftercare in the plan?

I am so glad they found out who did that to your cousin.  I have followed the story.