Feel like Screaming!!!

[dedicatedtostop]

Hey All,

Tommorow will be day 10. Today was a good day, actually so good that when my girls got home from school I spent quality time with them! I felt HAPPY! I also had a decent amount of energy. Well.... The past 2 hours have just sucked!! My back aches, I feel irritable and just downright in the dumps! Husband is sick and has been in bed for 2 hours and although it shouldn't, it ticks me off! I don't post too much as I try to just stick around and support others as that seems to help me more than anything but right now, I feel like I need to hear from some of you. I know it will pass, but right now all I want to do is flippin Scream!!!!

[ScarrieAnne]

Please don't feel selfish, this is therapeutic and you need to get all of your emotions out, what good are they doing inside? Its okay to be an emotional mess right now, have your read my unbalanced posts? You are doing great! 10 days right? thats a big accomplishment, youre going to make it Im sure of it! Stay Strong, you have support, xx c.

[dedicatedtostop]

Okay, I may scream now :(

[dedicatedtostop]

Okay guys I am a bit more gathered if you will. I took a hot shower. Is it normal to have to drag yourself into the shower?? That sure is how I felt. I actually spent the entire time in the shower just praying. Regardless, I won't turn back, I have been down this road and I know how good life is clean! I think that may be why I feel so darn emotional!!! Why did I have to reherniate another disc after I worked so hard to get clean? What did I do, I didn't have an injury!? I just feel like why me???? Ahhhh!!! Then, I stop to realize all the REAL problems people in this world are facing. Those whom are battling for their lives plagued with the terrible disease of cancer, the starving children and our homeless vets! The list goes on. I know things could be so much worse and I know there is a reason for everything but for once I can't help but ask why me? I hate my stupid back. I so badly want to go back to the gym, Be the softball Coach I am made to be ( yes, I am a head Fastpitch coach ) I want to shop, I want to wake up and put make up on my face everyday, I want to clean my house ( which I hate this big house right now too ) I wan to clean my car AND I want to go back to my job and be a nurse again and the thought that I may never be able to do that again makes me sick to my stomach. I know per my injury and addiction that some things will just never be the same again. I know that I can't run around on my feet for 12 hours a day, unable to even go to the bathroom so I can tend to Dr's and patients. I know that I will never be able to be as " physical " as a Coach as I use to be and well..... It makes me Angry yet really sad! Enough, I needed to get all that out. I really don't think I have complained since day 1. I feel selfish even doing so... Sigh...

[jifmoc]

You are withdrawing!!! Expect to feel ALL your emotions intensely. Remember how long you numbed yourself for. Takes a while to level out. Patience.

[luvdolphins58]

I totally get it. Withdrawal is so up and down emotionally. You are doing great. Hang in there.

[Shawnee1988]

You have come soooo far girl! Just think how amazing you will feel in a month! The process has good and bad days so don't be so hard on yourself. Focus on the huge amazing life change you have made. 10 days is amazing!!!