Feeling a little better

[refills]

Knock on wood. Thought I would give an update, so many of you have reached out to me. My days are better right now. Then the nights can throw me off with a nightly dose of anxiety. I'm staying more calm now and simply get out of bed asap. The thoughts that run through my head seem unfair to me. I know I have issues from my stroke yet and I just can't seem to find that happy place. I'm also still beating myself up over decisions I've made. I still have beers on an occasion but it's controlled by my desire to keep it that way.  It's not a road I want to go down again. Plus I can't afford to with pending kidney problems. The cancer diagnosis took on a whole life with me. The guilt with me lamenting all my poor decisions in life and seeing people I know who have passed on or are sick with cancer is controlling me right now. I am getting stronger mentally and physically. That surgery was BRUTAL! So that's all right now. I do want to come back on board in the community, I just don't know what I have to offer right now. BTW, my wife just retired on Friday. That should get me busy. Oh brother. BUT, that's what I need, I guess. Thanks everyone for being the best friends that you all are. Peace and Love....ike

PS, No Benzo's even though I , my wife, has a bottle of .05 Ativan. Not going there!

[refills]

Thanks all. I'm feeling good about myself tonite. Your feedback makes sense to me, I'm thinking maybe I'm not so far away from where I want to be. My mind can be my worst enemy, same as everyone else. It's always been that way for me though. Racing mind drives me crazy. I was thinking, I'm not doing that bad considering I'm not taking any med for my anxiety. First time in countless years. So I thank God and my friends.....ike

ps, I do take B-12 MsD thanks. Taking advice and moving forward.

[msdelight]

Hi Ike! Good to see you! You have PLENTY to contribute here because you've BEEN there, you know what I mean? That first year after the diagnosis is very tough, but you come out the other side a stronger and much more grateful person.  That is key. Gratitude. Please stop beating yourself up! People who have taken care of themselves and lived a clean life get cancer too. Its a disease not a punishment, although it feels that way at first.  Give yourself a little time ......
I have found that taking B12 supplements calms my anxiety tremendously. A few beers here and there is ok. You are doing great! Peace to you Ike

[spider6]

IKE,...c'mon man...look what you've gone through......experience......pure gold.....you've got all that under your belt.......don't keep it all for yourself brother! Lol....you've got so much to offer here ...you just have no idea how valuable you are ......glad you're posting...happy you're moving forward.  

Ps it'll be nice to see someone who takes their "honey do" list seriously ...haha.

Hugs. xo

[Krissy_123]

Glad to see you back Ike, and glad you're feeling  some better! Btw you have so much to offer!! You've been through helll and walked out the otherside! Don't ever thjnk you have nothing to offer!

[atthebeach]

hi ike, its good to hear from you. thanks for the update.
there is no time for regrets. it just keeps us from moving
forward. the past is past. keep looking forward.
the present is a gift.

the rearview mirror is small and the windshield is big and wide.

keep on keepin the faith.
praying for continued healing.

oh yea your wife will keep you busy. have some fun.
that's what you are supposed to do in retirement.
please stay in touch.
much love,......

[meegWpaw]

glad you are feeling somewhat better.

Meegan

[pillguy]

Nice to see you back!!

[chig1130]

Oh so happy for you buddy, you just keeping hanging on your one tough cookie for all that you have had to deal with. Bless you, Always
Chig