MENTAL Withdrawals feel crazy!

[so_tired_of_it]

Hi all - I know I probably don't have it anywhere NEAR as bad as other people on here, but wanted to just discuss with others....I keep going back to addiction over and over (DUH!@) I get 60 hyrdos per month and take them all in 4 or 5 days, all the while PRO|MISING, counting, hiding, etc. that I won't do that T|HIS time (LOL) I've been in AA long enough to know that its all M|E|NTAL OBSESSION. I always end up doing it again and then scrambling to 'find' something and spend all my money on one stupid pill and etc.... Just got ripped off from a girl who's an addict, shoots up anthing she can get. She took my money and took off. Hurts but I needed the 'lesson' I guess.  Now all I can TH|INK about is how to get something with no money no no no havent had anything for 2 days - not physical, just MENTAL insanity! Any suggestions?

[Cissy373]

My story is some what like yours I have chronic pain and I get refills monthly............use it up in a week then bam go through WD's and go without anything till my next refill. I refuse to go to the streets, never have and pray I never do............but my fear is, IF I don't stop this vicious cycle I am on........that is where I will end up.

The only thing I can tell you is, we did NOT get this way over night, and were NOT going to heal from this over night. We just have to somehow find the strength within us, to say NO MORE!!

I am now on day 5 and feeling pretty good physically and mentally, but I do have my moments that I tell myself NOPE can't do this, but I KNOW I CAN!!!

I am so sick of going through life in a fog and 12 weeks out of a year then WD'g and struggling, I want to stop this and you can do this too.

I just started to AA meetings and I intend to stick with that as I know that will help me.

Hang in there and know I am praying for you and everyone on this forum.

Cissy

[badshadow]

I think you are right in thinking that it is more "Mental."  I think half the battle of detoxing is mental because we get so afraid of what will happen.

You've gone through this before, and I know it's hard.  Especially when you keep doing the same thing over and over.

For me the best thing was to get busy and do stuff.  Clean out closets, go through paperwork, I definitely didn't lack for things to do, since during my addiction alot of stuff just didn't get taken care of.

I didn't "feel" like doing any of it, but I just made myself start, I went to meetings every day, I didn't sleep much so I was usually up at 3 or 4 and would hit a 6 and 7:30 am.  When I would come home, I wouldn't think about anything, but just start doing something like washing dishes, doing some laundry.

Also, I started doing some nice things for myself like getting a manicure.  I don't have much money, but there are alot of places where a manicure is 10-15 dollars, and I enjoy having my nails look nice.

I made an effort to dress nicer than I had in a long time, started taking better care of myself, praying helped.  I'm not a very "social" person, so I do not have alot of "friends" in the program, but I do have a few women that I have gotten to know and who know me, that I feel comfortable talking to, and I started writing a journal.

Mostly for me it's staying busy doing things that make me feel good, and seeing the change in me and my family that keeps me going.  I don't go to meetings as much as I used to, but I do go, just not every day right now.

I wish you all the best, your worth it, and you deserve to be the real you.  You have alot of good qualitites, and your not a bad person because your stuck in this vicious cycle.

[mercedeze]

I am in the same situation rite nw. I am feeln more mental than anythihg. I just feel so pissed off and agitated

[crgadow]

I think I understand your problem.  I'm trying to withdraw from xanax per my outpatient program (originally for bipolar disorder) and I've gone thru every emotion from extra anxiety, to severe depression, crying spells, worrying & even anger at the doctors who prescribed it to me in the first place.  They suggest deep breathing & relaxation - I know its total ********.  Can you go to a meeting tonight to get your mind off of it?  I'm also an addict - been clean 18 months from heroin, oxys, vicodin - i can only imagine the torment you're going thru.  Do you have any sober friends you can hang with to keep you busy?  Good luck & god bless - stay strong!!