Going Cold Turkey!

[totalicsworks]

Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting. I wanted to start off with a little history. In jan off 99 I was hurt at work, had my first surgery in 2003 and 5th surgery feb of this year. I have been in pain management since 2003, been on just about every prescription pain med out there. I currently take roxi 15s and kadian 20s and soma which is a big step down from the fentenyl patches and actiq pops I was on before.
Like I said, im in pain management and it has gotten so bad I eat my entire script in about 2 weeks and then buy 30mg kadians to try and get me thru till my next appointment. I usually save a few roxis just to be safe incase they decide to urine test me.
Anyway, I am in pain, bad pain! But I also admit I love how these pills make me feel.
I want to get off these for good and im trying to mentally prepare myself because I am starting cold turkey tomorrow and don't have any one for support and I will be doing this alone at home. I dont work because I am on disability and workers comp.
I'm trying to figure out how to accomplish this and still go to therapy twice a week and live life.
What makes this tough is I have a legit need for the meds but go freakin crazy when I get them, I guess this is how I got here in the first place......

[gnarly_1]

Hi  well N/A is a spiritual progam not religious in any way  most meeting they refire to the higher power and that can be any thing you want it to be  one of my close friend is a atheist he uses the group as his higher power the best thing you can do is give it a try most people are relived when they know there is hope there other forms of aftercare you can see a substance abuse counselor or a shrink or other support groops it is up to you but this is a we program not a I program human interaction is vital to doing this long term keep posting for support.........................Gnarly.....................................

[jifmoc]

Hey, totally- just want to tell you to not, I repeat NOT get ahead of yourself w/ the "steps" or anything else. All you need do is walk into your first meeting and listen. You don't have to believe in God or anything. It's not religious AT ALL. Many people are atheist, agnostic whatever. Just go for support. You need to do something other than what you've done. You can do other aftercare but don't talk yourself out of something b4 you try it. That is your addictive brain tricking you. Don't listen! Ok? Seriously, ya gotta keep an open mind. All the peeps in mtgs are just like you and me: they don't get it, they don't wanna be there, they're scared, they're confused. But, they can't keep trying to do it alone. You know where that's gotten you, right? Keep going w/ detox...good job.

[totalicsworks]

Thanks, I already looked up meeting places and they are very close to where I live,  I'll give it a shot when im feeling a bit better. You both made alot of sense with your replies, thank you!

I'm having a really hard time right now, the cravings are insane! I will not fall I will not fail!

[IBKleen]

The best time to go to a meeting is when you don't want to. Don't wait because you will never go.

[Jinx_777]

don't beat yourself up or feel ashamed for relapsing.  just get back on the horse and honestly do something different this time.  aftercare
right now you probably don't even feel like brushing your teeth, but as soon as you are physically able give 1 meeting a chance.  if you don't like that one, then choose another one. eventually you will find one where you feel at home.
hang in there.  you are stronger than a pill

[totalicsworks]

You are right! I dont feel like moving, anxiety is in over drive right now. I wouldnt leave the house unless it was on fire at this point. I will give meetings a chance I promise