Finding a meeting

[Hjk77]

Today I looked up the 12 steps because of an earlier post I saw today..  I don't have a problem with most of the step.  I mostly just hurt myself when I took my pills.  I always bought them never stole or lied to get them.  Don't know how to get through the 12 steps.  So I wrote them down and left space between each one.  Mostly to accept God into my heart and help me change the bad things in my heart.  Also to change the darkness I feel and the negative I feel about my life.  I never see the good things, I harp on the bad things for so long.   I ask Humbly that God changes these things but the negative comes out and say that He won't.  I want God to reboot my brain and start it all over from scratch.  Make me whole again and take my sins, my shame, and give me joy and happiness again.  Please God please a beg for this in your name.

How do I make amends to people whom I never hurt. I just hurt myself.  What I am trying to say is some of the 12 steps don't apply to me.  Maybe they do but I don't see it yet.  Like I said before, I never lied, cheated or stole to get my drug of choice, I just paid for them and went on my way.  How do I recover through the 12 steps when I can't get through 8 and 9? Do you have to get through all off them to recover.  Just making me think a lot.  The rest of the steps were hard but I got through them, on paper of course. Maybe that's why they were easy.  I should read them aloud to my husband.  Any suggestions???

[On2better]

The 12 steps are a process meant to be applied for the rest of our lives. To me, that process should unfold organically. Trying to do them all at once s overwhelming and would leave most people confused. Try going to meetings and talking to others about your confusion. Maybe pick up a step working guide, which will help you understand the process better.

As for the amends, it think it's best to start by making amends to yourself. Surely you've done things to hurt your pride, self esteem, and sense of worth. Things that have made you feel guilty or ashamed.

I think it's wonderful that you're diving in, you obviously possess a great deal of willingness.  Take your time and do your best.

[brandiroars386]

Meetings are the key, then work on the steps with a sponsor or others from the meetings.  They aren't meant to be done alone.

[kkcopacetic]

      Personally, i think you need meetings. You almost always get something you havent thought of or a different slant on something. Everybody does the steps a little differently......get a sponsor at some point....when is up to you.....good luck and be well......kk

[ActingBrandNew]

The 12 steps arent the absolute law to recovery. You dont have to work the 12 steps to stay clean. A lot of people find them helpful...but not everybody. If you feel the 12 steps dont apply to you then dont do them. But if your going to do them, they were designed to do with somebody. Back when I went to NA I did the steps. I wrote them 1 at a time and went over them with my sponsor. I dont think going over them with your husband is the best idea. But...its whatever is going to help you the most. Things dont always have to be 1 way...and you may find something or  a way that does help you.

Anyways, the making amends thing...well, was your husband hurt that you were using? Things like that are ways we hurt others from using. Maybe we didnt steal from them...maybe we just didnt pay attention to them cus we were high. things lime that.  Just trying to help.

[IBKleen]

The 12 steps are learned and applied in a fellowship, i.e., NA, AA, etc. they should never be done alone. They should always be done along with a sponsor from the fellowship. It is not a race so don't get ahead of yourself. It takes years to get the steps and then you can do them again as they apply. I do the first three steps everyday. Please get a sponsor to guide you through the process. Find a step meeting..they are very helpful. Here is the link to find NA near you. I hope this is helpful.

http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/

[Pat1956100]

I really don't think you can even begin to work on the steps until you have attended meetings and found a sponsor.  
They aren't meant to be rushed through.  It takes some people years to get through all of the steps.
As long as you are working on them and attending meetings you will benefit from the program.

[CRSeaside]

I think you are doing fine. Many people concentrate on one step at a time.
  Then go to a meeting.  All the 12 steps don't need to be done at once. It's the support you'll receive in the meetings & meeting a sponsor.  Pamela

[kyle505]

You have to take what is offered and apply it to your life, i.e., if, in fact, you didn't hurt anyone while you were using, then you don't have to worry about that step -BUT- the odds are that somewhere at some time, you did without ever knowing it.
The steps are meant to help us get to a place where we can start living in recovery. Use what you can. And maybe review, at a later date, the ones that you don't use.
K