I have been taking suboxone for 13 months now, at the beginning I was on 16mg, then 12, then 8, 6, and now 4. Well, I went down to four because EVERY time I go to the doctor, she tries to pressure me to reduce my intake. I know that 13 months is a long time to be on suboxone, but without it, I am afraid I will go back to oxy or heroin.
So almost 3 weeks ago, I agreed to go down to 4mg a day to get her off my back and try it. Well, here I am 9 days before my next appointment, and I am out of sub. I do not want to relapse, and I don't want to tell my doctor that I took 2 to 3 pills (4 to 6mg) a day against her wishes. She will make me come in every two weeks for a few months, and I can't afford to go more than once a month.
Can anyone give me any suggestions on how to make the next week and a half easier, or what to say to my doctor if I can't tough it out? I don't want to lie to her, but I would rather stay on 6mg a day, because that was what worked for me, and I was comfortable. I also have chronic pain, and suboxone makes it tollerable, which is another reason that it's been hard for me to do the 4mg a day. That means I have to wait 12 hours between doses, and after about 8 hours I feel my back and neck pain starting up. I've tried to explain this to my doctor, she tells me to take tylenol. If I took tylenol every time I was in pain in the last 3 weeks, I would not have a liver left. It's SO frusterating. I don't want to go back to Oxy, or Vics, and in my worst days, when oxy became too expensive, I went to heroin.. It was horrible. I swore I'd never touch that stuff.. but there I was.... :(
I just need some suggestions on how to deal with my doctor, how to get thru the next week and a half,.. and how to deal with my pain if she refuses to take me back to 6mg. PLEASE PLEASE HELP!! I think that if I can figure something out for my pain, I could get off the sub for good..... ugh.... I am so frusterated! Thanks for the words of wisdom.