Help me CALM down!!!

[kksmama]

Alright guys,

evening 5 not going welll at ALL!! Times like this remind me of why i love vicodin so much, its good to be numb sometimes! Anyway i know this is just me trying to cope with normal feelings and everyday stresses without running to my purse and chewing up a fist full of pills.  I am just so aggravated.  My husband runs off every night playing cards while im stuck at home with all the work.  My daughter is overly tired and good lord when she gets like that watch out!! My body aches and i feel like i dont know if i want to scream, cry or break something!!   IM TIRED!!!!  IM tired of keeping a "perfect" home I'm tired of cooking three course meals everynight when i dont even eat and never get any help cleaning up!  My husband talks **** to me about my addiction....he needs like gamblers anonymous or SOMETHING! AND as inappropriate as this may be....you would think that since my hubby has seen how sick i have been would let me off the hook from having sex for a couple of nights...nope not so much!!  Sorry everyone i just really needed to vent!!! any advice??????????

[bluespence]

Congrats on making it this far...however, what your husband is doing is abuse...I understand that feeling of just do it and get it over with so I don't have to argue...but when you do that you are telling your husband it is okay to treat me like dirt and it is okay to not care about my feelings or my well-being. You are a strong woman and you deserve to be treated better than that. Aren't you worth fighting for??? When you engage in behaviors that you really don't want you are telling yourself that you don't matter. You are also teaching your daughter that it is okay for a man to ignore your needs...don't let him do this to you...it truly is not easier to just give in because the long term effects will be so damaging. Fight for yourself and for your rights to be taken care of and to be cared for by your husband. Like Dr Phil says, "we teach others how to treat us" and when you give in to his selffish requests you are teaching him that you don't matter. I know I don't know you, but if you have made it five days, still having sex, still cooking...you are a STRONG woman...stand up for yourself...I believe in you and you deserve better and so does your daughter! Good luck!!

[kelley43]

Amen.  You put it into wonderful words.
Hugs to you both.

[struggling_college_student]

So im reading the posts about what ur going thru, and i just wanted to drop a note saying that you can make it for sure.  I have a kinda adoptive son(my roommates kid) and anytime i need some encouragement i look at that face and see a innocent 5 year old who loves me and wants me to be alive and well.....not numb and withdrawn.  Your child too wants you to be that perfect mommu that she knows you can be!!  You must be strong and realize the feelings that come up right now is the WD talking not you.  I wish you all the best

Jeff

[nurseone]

Hey there!! I am on day five too and have been trying to convince myself that I can just keep going. I know it will get easier for us. It is hard when we have to continue to act "normal" .......UGH I cannot imagine having s e x at a time like this!! Skin crawling. Let him pout.....dont fight with him. That is his problem. Those of us who use the pills to become normal and function have been doing it long enough that at first it is hard to just cope with making dinner. It took me forever just to get up and make tacos tonight! NO gourmet dinners here yet. lol The point is that you are the one who counts right now.....in taking care of yourself you will be able to take care of your daughter. You will be free of the drugs and be able to be there for your daughter. You dont deserve to be put down for this so if he is doing that ........dont engage.........that makes me so mad when people have the nerve to make us feel bad when they probably have more issues than us......at least we have been able to admit we are not perfect.....Anyway good luck and dont give up. If we all lean on each other then I think we can make it!

[kelley43]

I had another thought about you smokin' the stuff.  Some of us who have smoked in the past while we were doing drugs, have become much more sensitive to weed.  Where maybe in the past,  a couple hits was o.k., but now it may cause paranoia and anxiety. Our bodies are super sensitive to EVERYTHING.  Anxiety comes as a side effect, one of the many wonderful things we experience during the first couple weeks.  
Everything that BS said is wonderful.  I made the terrible mistake on day 8 of getting dehydrated.  I was bedridden all day because I forgot to drink anything.  So push the fluids more than normal.
Please don't allow yourself to quit quitting.  
YOU NEVER HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER DAY 5.  This is the last day 5 of suffering.  you are so close to feeling better.  
If I was with you I would give you a huge hug.  You are in the worst stages, it DOES get better.  We are with you, you are not alone.
Hugs to you,
Kelley

[badsneakers]

hope it helps some.  calming the nerves should come in the next day or three, stick it out...suggestions that I have seen and tried to help with the nerves...

chamomile tea, bananas or anything with lots of potassium (for RLS if you have it)...really hot bath/shower/steam if you can.  If you don't already know meditation, look up some techniques online and try breathing exercises (with those lit candles and bath???)   GO HIPPIE DIPPY  if will help...

WD ***** and there is no way around it...but you are way to far along to turn back now!  If you have pills...FLUSH  (SEE KELLEY43)

write to me and check in?

BS (badsneakers)...it's a Steely Dan Song if you ever wondered.

[kelley43]

Oh sweetie, I had to respond.  You obviously have had maritial issues before all this happened.  The sex thing...unacceptable.  I had an abusive marriage years ago...i remember having the same fights, I remember laying there waiting for it to be over.  The fact that he ACCEPTS that is disguisting.  
You are a true testament to the fact there IS no better time to quit then NOW.  You are going thru pure hell at home, and you still stick with it.  You aren't one of the people saying 'it's not a good time for me...i'll quit later...'.    YOU ARE DOING IT.  
It seems like you are being tested, and girl, you're passing the test.  If you get thru this, you've got the world by the balls.  
This is about YOU and your daughter.  You are doing great, we're all right behind you.  
I was a pill gobbler too, I get it.  We all do.  You are at the worst part, I'm on day 14 and I actually feel ALIVE, I put my face to the sun and I actually smile.  
YOU.  It's about YOU.  for the first time in your life, it's about YOU.
Kelley

[kksmama]

Thank YOU XOXO

[scaredmom330]

congrats on day 5. way to go! hey, after putting the baby to bed what about a nice long bath, light a few candles...that might help alot.. as for hubby and sex, tell him to lay off for a couple of days, he won't die. lol take care and keep up the fight, remember one day at a time.  be strong

hugs

[kksmama]

Hi,
Thanks, I needed that!  Yeah i know im not a sex slave, its just that if i even try to say no, it turns into a big fight and all of the sudden i must be sleeping with someone else and blah, blah, blah...so i just give in so that i can get it over with and avoid a fight!  And you got it my princess is WAY more important and when i do feel weak, i look at her and things come back into perspective:)  I just wish i could do something to calm my nerves.  I know this isnt a good thing but the other night i even hit a joint a couple of times with my husband outside after my daughter was asleep....yeah hadnt done that in like a year and it did not make me feel better in fact made things worse, i got all paranoid and beat myself up some more for doing that, i just cant win!  I just hope tomorrow is better.  And by the way, ive seen a lot of the other things that you have posted for me as well as others and you are an amazing person!!!  Thanks again for hangin with me and giving me that extra push.....XOXOXO

[badsneakers]

Hi kiddo,
remember me?  I've been watching you.  You are on day five, almost there...should be getting better day by day so stick it out!...
Husband sounds like he needs a whoopin' right now...did you know that you are not a sex slave to him?  it's 2009!

kids=more important than moms fix

stick to it