How can we save our baby girl?

[whattodo4her]

We have a 17 year old daughter who we found out 2 days ago is hooked on the blue pills.She has been taking them for roughly about 2-3 months . We have her pretty much under lock and key and need to figure out what to do for her?She goes back and fourth about wanting to quit and not caring about living or dying. She has also found her first love (also her drug partner) and seems as addicted to him as the blue pills. I understand they go hand in hand. She says she'll quit if we just let her talk to him. She believes he will quit for, or with her. He comes from a family of major drug addicts, Mom,Dad,brothers..it's so sad his life but I can't worry about him. We just want desperately to save her. My husband and I have taken turns sleeping with her to make sure she cant leave. We are so unsure of what to do....rehab, counseling(major of coarse),detox program??? I've heard so many things about rehab, some come out far worse  then they go in, and I don't want her to meet more contacts or hook-ups. Please if anyone can help??? She has been hooked for only 3 months and I'm praying we caught it early and have a good chance in beating this if we stick together as a family and fight for her.

[kat2923]

I've been in your daughter's shoes and let me tell you, if my family had cared enough to do what all you guys are doing for her I would have been more willing to quit. To this day I struggle with my addiction and part of what makes it so easy for me to be an addict is all of my contacts I have built up over the years so my advice to you would be to take her cell phone away and the sim card, and get her a new number. I don't know most of my dealers numbers by heart so without my sim card I would be lost. If she doesn't want to quit she will find a way to get drugs but you can make that much harder for her to do. Lortabs have ruined my life and nobody that young should have to go through what i've gone through. Best of luck to you.

[Munkerlilly]

have you thought of sending her somewhere further away? There is a great program in Ohau HI and it makes it alot eassier when the source is gone.

[whattodo4her]

thank you for your post elaine. We were noticing changes in her behavior, attitude, and weight. We made her take a drug test and of course she denied at first and finally came clean as drug tests dont lie. That was thursday morning and finally we found a program that we think is suited perfectly for her. We are all tired but very relieved to have found some help.

[ejwilson]

Hi whattodo4her, I feel so bad for you and your husband that your dealing with this. How did you find out she was addicted? Did she confess to you or did you find her pills. When her withdrawals get real bad she may get very antsy and could get mean and blame you and her dad for losing her boyfriend, or the man she loves, threaten to leave first chance or wish she were dead.  Going through w/d's is very hard physically and mentally. If what you are seeing looks to rough for her to go thru and you want medical help get her to the emergency room. When I went thru w/d's from oxycontin, my husband had me in the hospital and I went into convulsions and he said he'd never seen anything like it. And I wasn't on a very high dose either. So some people just have different reactions than others.  But don't be afraid to take her there cause you think she might in trouble. They will however have her see a counselor rite away, other then that the doctors will get her on a clonidine patch and some tranq to calm her and help her sleep. At this point you and your husband will need some too.
Keep us posted and ask anything you want and I'll try to answer it back quickly. But I am curious to how you found out she was addicted?  Did she confess to you or did you find her pills. Has she been dating this guy for awhile and goin out and how serious do you think it's gotten? Do you know if he is also going thru w/d's.
Take care of yourselves too!
You will be in my prayers tonight.  elaine

[McTigerlily]

You are getting some really good advice from people who know what it's like. It does sound like she is going through w/ds (not sleeping well at night, sleeping during the day). If you can, I agree that going on a walk would do her wonders. It will get her endorphins pumping in her brain and the affect will help lessen the withdrawals. Also, like Reese Witherspoon says in Legally Blonde, "Exercise gives you endorphins--endorphins make people happy and happy people just don't shoot their husbands... they just don't." A little bit of humor. I hope that's OK. You probably could use a laugh. Speaking of, you and her could probably watch some movies together at this time. A good flick with lots of laughter will produce endorphins too. Maybe when she is really having a hard time sleeping, you guys could get up and watch a movie together. Tommy Boy is a good one.

I know this may sound silly, but it's what gets me through the day sometimes. I went through an addiction to a boy when I was 16 and HATED my mom for not letting me see him. However, the more stuff we did together that was fun, the more I realized that she loved me. Keep her away from the boy at all costs. Maybe rehab won't be necessary for her, but please get her in counseling. Obviously this didn't just happen. There is always an underlying reason to self-medicate. You don't just get addicted to things. Addiction is different than dependence, too. Even if you aren't Christians, sometimes Christian counselors are sometimes better because they can give her real hope and see that she can't do it all alone. They shouldn't be preachy, of course. I have found a Christian counselor who is understanding, non-judgemental and gives me back the self-esteem I desperately needed.
.

[kim715]

Exercise helps so much during w/ds,gets the chemicals in the brain flowing again.A little motivation to get her up for a walk around the block will do her good.I will be keeping your family in my prayers.Keep posting.All the best...Kim

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Dont let her sleep excessively for more than a few days.....that might be addiction/dependence effects.  If you let her sleep and sleep it will either be or turn into an episode of depression. Exercise is a prime way of getting back in shape. Its no fun when you feel crappy - so take a walk around the block with her twice a day. Insomnia is extremely prevalent with opiate abuse. Get some comedic movies or whatever she likes to watch. Dont dwell on the lack of sleep - you can catch up with that.  Benadryl (without antihystamine) helps sleep. Some like the amino acid melatonin and swear by it. I endorse the SaMe and 5-HTP to help avoid an antidepressant. Read the health pages - particularly the Thomas Recipe and the Amino Acid Protocols - - - use vitamins and supplements ........ also read through other posts - you may search by topic through medhelp. And good luck to you - - -

[whattodo4her]

Hi thanks for your words of wisdom. My husband did more then tell the boyfriend to stay away, he threatened him and now her phone has been canceled. she sleeps so much should we make her get up or let her sleep? Her nights are very restless. She's also angry and nasty, no violence as of yet but we are prepared to do whatever we need to do to get her through these rough days. We just dont know whether to be more aggressive with her and try to motivate her to take a walk or something, anything???

[scaredmom330]

welcome. First of all you need to realise you nd your family  are victims of her addiction. No matter how much you want her to quit, she won't until she is ready, trust me. The best thing for her right now is tough love. Tell her she is on her own, dont give her any money or the car. refuse to deal with her when she is high. It's gonna be hard on you.I had to do the same thing with my son.  I would warn the boyfriend, telling him if you see him with your daughter or anything that shows he has been with her, he is going to jail. This is really gonna make her mad but you have to get rid of the dealing boyfriend. good luck, there will be others on later with more advise. good luck. pm me anytime

[gizzy32]

Welcome to the forum, this is a tough one, but I can see you are willing to do what it takes and sometimes the only way is tough love. Since you can not keep her locked up forever, I would try to help her fix this now before it gets so so so much worse.

As far as coming out of rehab worse, that is not true, maybe the odd case, but rehab would do wonders, but it does not sound like she truly wants to quit?. If she is around him and he is using I guarentee you she will be too . Do you know where she is getting the pills? The problem is we have to want to quit or most of us hit bottoms where we were left with no choice. Do not enable her in no way, active addicts are great liars. Since he is from a family of major drug addicts and I am assuming he is too, i know what i would if I had a 17 year old daughter that was with him. I would go directly to his house, warn him to stay away and if he is the one getting her drugs, I would call the cops and make sure he was busted. Yes that sounds harsh, I am an addict and almost lost my life to drugs so if you can save her now, then find any means possible. Addiction is a progressive disease and will take her down further. Like you said, you spotted this early and that could make all the difference in saving her:) You sound like very caring parents and I hope she fixes this now before it's too late. You will get some great advice here. Good luck.

p.s if you have her locked there she must be going through w/d's now right?