How in the world did you all

[justwanttobeclean]

get thru this?????I tried CT yesterday off of percs and somas and barely lasted 16 hrs if that long..The Depression was frightening!!! every second seemed like an hour...I don't think I can do this..I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel..My husband is out of a job..he starts a new one in 10 days..but I won't have insurance for 6 months. I was hoping to be clean by the time he goes back to work because I have yo take care of the kids..right now I don't have to until the 18th..so that means I have to go CT...but NOTHING helps..Nothing distracts me...I feel worse than crap every second of the day whether I'm resting or doing an activity...Has anyone else felt that what..I need brutal honesty..How long will the worst of the worse last? Please tell me straight.

I was given meds for an accident I was in..For years I took them as prescribed...then, my marriage started going to hell..fighting all the time between my husband and my kids..they are his step kids..so bad that I would freak out and have a full blown panic attack..That's when I discovered taking 1 more, than 2 more than finally my allotted amount for the whole day in one sitting...I've been on these 6 or 7 years...never had a problem until a couple years ago..I was always careful not to take more than what was prescribed during the day..but I'd take most of it at one sitting just to feel normal. Now..I just want off...as I don't know if I'm able to take them as prescribed anymore since I crossed that line. I have always been depressed, but don't now if the medicine is making me more depressed or coming off it is..I need help..I need hope..I don't know how you all who got clean did it...

[vicki595]

LOL!  I STILL love to lay in bed and watch movies all day and speak to no one!  

Everything you say is so true!  It's ALL part of the "Big Lie" that our brains have been tricked into believing.  Once we get that, it becomes easier!

[ImDONENoMore]

YES the drugs are making you feel isolated and unwilling to be around others.   They did that to me too - I was happier to lay in my bed and watch movies all day and speak to no one than to connect w/another human being.  And I'm pretty sure that was related to my shame about my addiction.  The high the pills give are short-lived and a LIE.  That's the thing about this stuff - it tells you that all you need is the DRUG.  That people no longer matter.  Another LIE.  The more you reach out for help, the better you're going to be.  Yes, it's going to feel strange for a while, because you want to think that you're strong enough to go it alone.  But we're not.  NO ONE is.  We all need each other for support.  It's that simple (and yeah, complicated too I know).  But reconnecting to the world is important - maybe not in those early days because it's all we can do to get up and moving for the day.  But it has to happen or you'll return to your old life.  And that's no way to live and you know that already.  Remember - our best thinking got us into this mess right?  So maybe, just maybe, those before us who got out of this hell know what they're talking about.  Right?

It gets better with TIME.  And no one, especially addicts, like that answer.  I didn't either.  But it's true.  So just move on blind faith for a while and trust that others before you who quit successfuly just might know what they're talking about.  I used to shun that kind of thinking all the time - until I finally realized I didn't have a clue about what I was trying to do.  Knowledge and a willingness to learn a new way to live is where the recovery begins

[justwanttobeclean]

I don't mind the physical pain of withdrawal..Bring it on..It's the restlessness and feeling of unease and just plain miserble emotionally. Did you experience mental pain? will I feel even slightly better in 3-4 days? I know I won't overnight..This didn't happen overnight..But I at least want to smile, laugh, just plain feel human.Thanks so much for your word.

[Bkitty]

The pills will not allow the AD to be effective at all and for me almost made the depression worse,,actually it did. You have to realize the pills are what is making this soooo much worse. I too isolated myself and didnt like being around other people or going out,,its because I am miserable. There I said it. I feel humiliated that I have this problem and my self esteem is low. I have a lot on my plate as Im newly married(5 months),,and days literally days after I was married we had to take temp custody of my husbands daughter (my step-daughter). It has caused us to fight,,etc..I also cant handle my job,,couldnt handle a lot of things,,it was all because of those darn pills though. You see that,,i know you do. Its not going to get better in 10days and just disappear,,what you have to realize is that this addiction/depression battle is going to last forever. Grieve that,,feel that,,try to come to terms with that. Each day will get better and better but its slooowww some days are better than others,,I actually thought day 3-4 was the worst mentally. I also told my therapist and last night my husband who had no idea I was an addict,,I told them because I need to be held accountable for my actions should I relapse further down the road. You are letting them control you and your life. To me it was worth 5-6days of physical pain to have my whole life ahead of me,,you too can do this.

Remember: Courage doesn't often roar,,sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the daysaying " Ill try again tommorrow"

[justwanttobeclean]

Wow we have so much in common...20 years ago I suffered a Post-Partum Depression after the birth of my third child..Came out of nowhere..I've been on AD's ever since...Not only that but my Dr. put me on an anti-psychotic, too..just for the sleep and the tranquilizing effects..but it doesn't help me sleep..or maybe it does by allowing me at least a few hours...I've also been on Klonopin for 20 years as I have horrific Panic Attacks...It no longer works...the Dr. even stated so..But won't take me off it or switch me to another..I also am prescribed Ambien..that does nothing..

I'm depressed when things are going good..but even more so when they are not...A lot of fighting between the kids and between the husband..I hate my life the way it is..

And yes..you were so right..I had to take them for energy, for motivation, or just to wash my hair...But I've also found that I don't like going out..having visitors...being around people..Don't know if that's the drugs or depression or both...I''m on 60;s of percs and take 4 soma's a day..I always thought I had it under control because I never took more than I was supposed to for the day..I still have some left..I'm afraid to throw it out...I'm afraid I'll feel so horribly that I'll lose all hope.

They don't help with the pain...they stopped working years ago...I just want to be clean..I don't know why because my life really  $%^&$...I feel I need these pills just to deal with the family and the non-stop yelling..Can anyone relate?

[Bkitty]

Like Vicki said,,some do well with a taper,,Im an "all or nothing kind of gal" if I got it I want to take it. I just read that your doc is also aware??,,can you call him Monday to get some comfort meds and maybe started on an anti depressant? Discuss with him the best plan to get off these,,if thats an option.