How long does it take to stop craving hydro?

[swooner]

Hey, everyone.  First of all, let me say how much it has helped to read all these posts, and I have been reading them for some time.  I just decided, as I look at my last four hydros in this bottle in front of me, that I can't do this alone.  Because of the role I play in my family, caretaker, I can't go to a treatment center or go for any counseling, or let on to anyone that I have a problem, except my boyfriend, and he is about to drop with all the drama.  I am 39 yrs old and started using when my mother was diagnosed with cancer in July of '07.  She was all I had, besides my grandmother.  She was my strength.  Of course I had my boyfriend, and other family members, but I am a hermit and an addict (alcohol before this) besides the fact that I have social phobia, so it was very easy for me to lose control.  I really lost control when she died.  My life could most aptly be described as a train wreck and I have been using just to feel any kind of balance.   I just started taking 80 to 100 mg a day about 3 or so months ago after months of tolerating the fact that I wasn't able to get that high anymore.  My grandmother is dependent upon me for her well-being, and, well there just isn't enough room to tell you all the reasons I can't stop.  Besides her and my boyfriend, the most important reason for me to stop right now is that I want to go to culinary school and try to actually begin a life for myself.  My question to everyone is when one is SOOO prone to addictions of every kind, has almost no support, and is "up against it" in every possible way, how long does it take to get off this poison and stay off, and though I know the cravings never fully go away, when does the panicky, urgent type need subside?  I would greatly appreciate any words of wisdom.  This forum and others have helped me to take the first step.  Thanks again.  

[swooner]

Thank you for your story and guidance.  My boyfriend actually does know and is supportive; it's my Grandmother that I can't tell because she's 91, has lost two sons to the same thing(s) and I just can't break her heart.  I have cut way back and plan to try to go to culinary school beginning Nov. 8th.  I will keep you in my prayers and thanks for keeping me in yours and being so positive about it.  Thank you for taking time to respond...it means a great deal right now.

[FassFeat]

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said other than.. you could be in culinary school in 6 months if you want, maybe sooner.
I will pray for you. You can do this. I have been married 25 yrs, I decided to tell my wife even if she told me to go find a new home. I got to a point where I did not care about the fall out. Job, wife, house, etc. I knew if I could get clean I could restore myself. I was lucky that my wife is supportive. If your boyfriend isnt, once your mind is clear, it will all make sense. Please take in the spirit that it is given. This is a crisis, and it is about you. Good luck and God Bless

Do what you gotta do, everything else will work out. It just will.

[swooner]

Thank you so much for all your responses.  I just got the e-mail that said I had some responses, so thank you.  I noticed that you all agree that I have to tell my family.  That would be easy for everyone except my 91 year old grandmother who just lost her 71 year old son to drugs and alcohol last year, lost her other son, my dad in '95 for the same reason and has been telling me since I was about 9 years old that I was an angel sent from heaven to save this family.  Not making excuses, but she will be the one person that will never know.  I have been semi-clean since the last post, and again I can't tell you how helpful this is...such an enormous relief.  I just felt that I had to elaborate on the whole " I can't let them know!" thing.  That's actually not like me, and I really have no shame about it for anyone but her.  My sister, well everyone in my family (small family) has been on something, so it's not like anything new.  But right now, as I try to quit, I still have to be there for my grandmother.  She would give up.  She's is heartbroken.  There's no way to describe her patience and goodness with our family.  Letting her know would be like telling her God didn't exist, or something close to that devastating.  So, please don't see my answers as excuse making.  I used the phrase I "can't stop."  I didn't mean ultimately or I wouldn't be on here and wouldn't be trying.  Again, I feel so blessed to find this sight.  I will keep reading.  I hope to start school on Sept 27.  I'm still weening off this so I won't be sick when that happens.  Pray for me as I pray for all of you.  And I certainly take each and every response to heart.

[pillfree21]

I think you just got some the most honest and thorough advice that anyone can get from some people that really know what they are talking about...it really does not get any clearer than that.  This advice comes from experience and a desire of these people to really see you break through and get clean.  The best thing I did was come clean to my wife, who has been incredible, even now as I struggle to stay clean.  If I had to hide from her, I would not have made it, no doubt.

I hope you the best and even more I hope you take the previous comments to heart.

[dominosarah]

You have a ton on your plate with many many issues buried way deep within you.  You have to start facing them head on or this addiction will spiral even more out of control.  As addicts we really cant do this alone.  Its time to take care of you.  Being honest with your loved ones will help a ton too as our secrets keep us sick.....Keep talking with us as we are here to support you......sara

[gnarly_1]

HI and welcome to the forum....well the answer to your question is complex...it has a lot to do with how we accept our situation for what it is...your cant be an addict with certain conditions
your ether all in with the recovery process or it wont work...secrets keep us sick..it a well know fact...like it our not your an addict...and this will be on of the hardest things you do in life to get to recovery I agree a lot with GTMI in that you have to quit making excuses and except the fact that your an addict plan and simple that truly is the first step then your going to have to swallow some pride and be willing to do whatever it takes to get well...meeting may seam uncomfortable or inconvenient same with consoling but it is all part of true recovery and is not something you can opt out on and have any success doing this
if all we had to do was simple quit taking the pills there would be few addicts but this deseise is a lot deeper rooted then that and the willingness to change and make changes is what is going to get you better....aftercare is where you will learn the skills and tools to live a clean and sober lifestyle ...you can do this but not with unrealistic terms and conditions please dont let this discourage you..im only trying to give you a fighting chance of making it ...stick around and read the post...you will see your situation is not uncommon we all want to see you make a healthy recovery and we know what it takes....there are yrs of experience on this forum draw from it..keep posting for support we will walk you threw this but please keep an open mind we know what works...
good luck and God bless.....Gnarly        

[GoingToMakeIt]

Strong cravings take a while to go away. I can't help but say this. As I read your story, I felt you made excuses for using. "sooo prone, up against it, etc. Now I am not trying to make you feel bad or am I accusing you of anything. We all have been there and if I am wrong, I am sorry.
   The first step to quitting is to admit you have a problem. Quitting is hard, but staying clean is even harder. You say you can't let your family know. I say you may be setting yourself up for failure if you don't let them know. For me, being honest about the problem, helped me get and stay clean. I never felt bad that I got addicted to an addictive substance. I did feel bad about the using and what it did to me and those around me. I just never let the fact that I got addicted as being totally my fault. (think it not strange that you can get addicted to opiates)

[vicki595]

Hi~   Okay...some tough questions for sure.  

First,once you're addicted,you're always prone to addiction and cross addiction. You've already experienced that with alcohol.

It takes about a week to detox. Mentally it takes a while depending on how hard you work at it. And you must work and push through. It's not easy but it's doable. Staying clean requires levels of support. Medical,spiritual,personal...You need recovery care on an ongoing basis be it a therapist,councelor,AA/NA...you need that support.

The anxiety you describe goes away with time as you employ healthier habits.

I wish you well~