This is taking too long, still suffering.

[Lilly1955]

I have been off methadone since 9-2-14 and off OxyContin and Valium since 9/26. I am still struggling with anxiety, no sleep and no appetite. I was told by an addiction counselor that it takes 3 - 6 months before I would feel better and at least one year to feel like myself and may have days that will be bad up to 10 years. She said it will not get worse than it is now. She said that every week I will feel some improvement with the good time increasing with time. The intensity of the anxiety will lower and my sleep should return around the 3 month spot. Omg I can't go that long with no sleep. Last night I went to ER after talking to my sponsor. I had not slept in 5 nights and was starting to flip out. I told the Dr I was in recovery he gave me two 1 mg Ativan said take one at night for the next 2 nights. My sponser said it didn't affect my clean time as it was prescribed and a necessity. I had also called my addiction counselor and asked her to call ER and explain the situation. She also reassured me it wouldn't affect my clean time. Last night I took one. I slept for about 5 hours (getting up once an hour to bathroom but able to fall back asleep). This morning I have some anxiet and feel a bit tired but know that my body and mind finally got some rest. Monday I see a psychiatrist about the sleep issue. I think the anxiet is from the valium withdrawal and I just have to suck it up and wait it out. I am learning to roll with it and turn it over to God.  I pray today that God grant me and all of you a peaceful mind and safe day.

[Heather8448]

Lilly,
All I can do is give you MY experience. I was on methadone when I was 21 or 22 and I quit June 25 2013 at age 29. At first I was a ball of anxiety and the world scared me so I surrounded myself with NA people in NA meetings and fellowship. I was scared to even hang with Normal non addicts. I have realized when I take the dope away, I am still here and there is a reason I started using. That’s when the work begins. I live step one two and three DAILY! I have to admit I am powerless over everything (not having a car, not being able to go shopping without help, laundry etc. I am powerless over how people treat me etc…I have to believe I can return to sanity step 3 give it to my HP) the same goes with not being able to sleep and having anxiety. The good news is we WERE powerless over our addiction. Once we admit, we have power to change things. With that being said, you can seek help psychiatry (which you’re doing) breathing techniques etc. I can’t meditate my head still spins 15 months later. I have noticed when I walk, or I look at the moon, I am calmer. I still have issues, but every time I deal with it, CLEAN the next attack or sleepless night will be easier to deal with. I will tell you it gets easier there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I sleep more…my appetite is getting better, I smile and its real, and the anxiety is less and attacks are further between. I still don’t like going out with “normal people” but that’s ok. My therapist says he wants me clean 2 years without psych meds because methadone suppresses serotonin and my brain is trying to kick start making it. I agree as long as I can cope use the tools given and I don’t want to harm myself or others. I write at night and I was going 5-9 days no sleep. Now maybe once or twice a week I only sleep 2-5 hours. It gets better we do recover…just keep your head up, hold on it’s a wild ride! The cool part is we can learn how to be human again.
Just remember one thing "we didnt become addicted in one day so easy does it" it took me 16 years to screw up my life it will take time to re build. when my head screams I share and I call other addicts. You can PM me if you want I am always here

[atthebeach]

Lily try not to think to far ahead. Just take each day  as it comes.
You are healing. Each day you are one more day removed from the
Meds. You are doing great.
Keep moving forward.
Don't fear. Keep the faith.
Stay nourished, keep going to meetings, keep yourself busy.
Take vitamins.
You can try Valerian root drops in  sleepy time tea for anxiety, relaxation and to help with sleep.
You can also retry melatonin,  alteril, sleep by nature made.
Prayers for continued healing and peace,
Debbie

[gnarly_1]

Hi  well the above posters hit it on the head....it took me a good 90 days to even begin to see the light   try not to get discouraged you do get better slowly   methadone is a Hindus drug to detox off of just keep your faith in God and you will get threw this get up to a health store and pick up a bottle of ''lemon balm'' it really helps with the anxiety and will relax you just mix a dropper ful in a cup of camomile tea  keep posting for support.......Gnarly..........................

[BanMethadone]

Everything your counselor said sounds as if it's spot on. Luckily I never went 5 full nights without sleep, but I weaned off and jumped around 5mg. I've got about 6 months clean and it feels great, but it took at least 160 days before all of the badness went away. Digestion was the last thing to clear up. I still have trouble sleeping if I overstimulate with coffee or anything like that. Other than that, it's all good. I think your case of being awake for five days is very extreme. In studies, most people cite insomnia as the number one reason they quit a taper or relapse. It's very hard, and no one can take that away from you. I had an avg of 3 hours of sleep a night from 13 mg down and two weeks post withdrawal. It began to gradually get better after that and some days I would feel I went back to withdrawal again but usually it was if I did something to poke my brain like sugar or caffeine. I became extremely sensitive to the effects of these things in post w/d where I could drink 3 pots of coffee a day fully leaded. It was like crack basically... it kept me up all night. So don't do any of that. Try to take good care of yourself somehow. Just try not to passively wait for your recovery to come. No matter if you feel like hell, think positive about how good you will feel when it's all over. Also as soon as you can, even if you think you can't, just try to do something... exercise or walking. You might surprise yourself at how much you can do. I found that doing those things alone was much better with just me and my music. I wanted to tune the world out basically, and it's what I needed to do for a time. I hope you stick with it and continue to get that rest. Just wean off of the meds asap when you get through the worst of w/d

[Lilly1955]

Thank you so much for your post. Ok we are going through the same thing. I started the taper of methadone sometime around last year and haven't used any in 64 days. But it's only been 30 something days I stopped the OxyContin and Valium. No sleeping MEDS help. I tried everything. After a 5 or six day no sleep I can not handle the anxiety that the prolonged withdrawals produce. I still can't be around my family, focus on TV, eat, sleep even music is over stimulating. I walk my dog when the anxiety gets unbearable go o NA meetings and talk to people in recover all day and night sometimes. My chemical recovery therapist says by three months I should be feeling a bit better and 6 months alot better and 1 year almost normal. Most people who haven't used the drugs we have feel better alot sooner. Hang in there I am going through it too my friend

[msdelight]

Hi lily, you are battling two tough demons there, benzo and methadone. Give yourself a bit more time, just don't give up. Work it through to it's conclusion. You're making progress.

[NeverAgain127]

OMG< I HEAR you!!!!!

Today is day 42 and I'm not a happy camper.  Some of the symptoms just WON"T GO AWAY.

I took oxycodone for 8 year, and I guess I REALLY altered my brain because it is taking time for things to return to normal.  

*I still cannot sleep.   If I take a Unisom, I will get MAYBE 3 hours.  That's it.  Otherwise, I can easily go 4, 5, 6 days with no sleep.  None, nada, zip, zilch.   Melatonin doesn't work.  Valerian, nope.  

*The cough.  Dear Sweet Lord, please take this cough away from me.!  On around 2 weeks clean I developed a dry hacking cough.   Yes I makes sense, since opiates suppress the cough reflex, which I located in the brain stem.  The lower down in the brain, the longer it take to recover.   I've had a chest xray...normal.   Lungs sound fine, no crackles, no wheezing.  But I am SCARED to death about this.  

I keep worrying I've got emphysema, or COPD, or blood clots, or who knows.

*Stomach.   I beginning to think it will NEVER be normal again. Yesterday I went to lunch at a nice restaurant and for the first time in six months, I had a glass of wine with my meal.  ONE GLASS.  5 ounces.  That was at noon yesterday.   Exactly 12 hours later, I developed insane diarrhea that had me living in the bathroom last night.  It was God-Awful...I ended up so dehydrated that my husband stayed home from work today.  

So I guess I'm not "well enough" yet to even be able to have one glass of wine, and it was with a full, healthy meal.   Geez!

*Energy:  None.  I simply have none. I don't want to work, eat, shop, cook, nothing.  I feel totally defeated.  

What in the world have I done to myself?   I guess I'm going to have to wait 3-6 months...what other choice do I have?

Sorry for hijacking your post, Lilly...but I wanted you to know you are NOT alone.  

I wish I had never taken a pain pill---EVER.    This just sux.  Plain and simple.  I'm a very unhappy person right now.  

[vicki595]

Lily- This does seem to be taking a long time. Can you refresh memories? How long did you take pain meds? I think the methadone was from Feb to Sept and prescribed by an ER doctor. What was that dose?

In the scheme of things, do you consider yourself a drug addict or drug dependent? I've wondered myself-

I'm sorry you're still suffering...