I've known I've had a problem now for awhile, but this is the first time I've ever went online or even seen people talking about the same things I'm going threw, I've always felt so alone with this..I'm in tears right now..deep breathe.. I've been battling my addiction from Norco's (and other occasional pain killer) for about 10 years now, ever since my mother first gave me one when I was 12 when I said I had a headache. Right when I took it I felt like I was on top of the world, finally I had found an excape from the f*cked up reality I called childhood..lets just say I had a lot more headaches after that. soon after I got sent to my dads, and my solution was harder to get, they use to get handed to me like candy and then all of a sudden I could only get a few when I would go and see her. The days, sometimes weeks in between I would have horrible migraines, I felt sick all the the time and never knew what was wrong with me. When I turned 17 my dad found a new girlfriend, sold the house and moved on and I was left homeless. So I started dancing to support myself (and my mother who I soon had to take care of once again) and it opened a whole new door for me, I could always find a hook up on norcos and started experimenting with cocaine and other pain killers. After about two years I stopped doing cocaine and xanax..went on a alcohol binge for a few months, and then quite cold turkey... that is except for norco, they felt normal to me "like aspirin" for the daily Life-ache I would get when I wasn't taking them..To make this long story short I've hid my problem from loved ones until recently (I use to call them my 'happy pills' I could always keep a smile, it was easy to hide). It's to the point (for awhile now) that the only thing they do is make me feel "Normal" I don't want..can not, live like this anymore, I'm so depressed. I quite cold turkey about two months ago, went threw really horrible withdraws, (felt like I was dying) went two or three weeks sober and then started taking them again, I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, I'm just so use to taking them it was hard to deal with my sober thoughts i guess. I need help! I need to find a healthy way to beat this or my addiction, or the depression it brings will be the end for me. Thanks for letting me share, I've never really said all that to anyone before...