I need some direction

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

I have been taking Vicodin ES for about 7 years. I want to taper down and then quit but am very afraid of withdrawal. I was taking it as presribed for an injury for the first few years but then went to 10 a day and have been taking 20-25 a day for the past few months. Does anyone know a schedule I can use to taper down & then quit entirely?  I can't go to a doctor because my husband is a dr in town & it would be horribly embarrassing.  Also I'm not working but staying at home with my 1 & 3 year old children.  Will I be able to care for them while I do this?  I've only taken 3 pills today and don't feel so bad but I know it's only the 1st day of trying to cut back. When do withdrawal symptoms start and how long do they continue?

[road2recovery]

Yes that makes so much sense, and we all can relate.....The answer is YES, i am clean almost 7 months,,, and i was on 15 or more 10mgs, never really counted at the end unless i was running out....
Is there anyway you could be honest with your husband?  I thought my husband would never understand , but he was my best friend and he did..Although i never told him the exact amount i was taking, not even close.....
You can do this, and we are here to help in any way we can...
It is tough but honestly you have to really want it...And at the amount you are taking , your health is really at risk, and i am sure you know that already..
i am rooting for u
r2r

[toxictome]

DAY TO DAY LIFE IS BETTER AFTER GETTING CLEAN!!!!

After being clean for awhile..the warm fuzzy feelings will come naturally... from living life on lifes terms.

Getting clean is the easy part...STAYING clean is the HARD part(mental part-recovery).
It is important to make some type of a plan for aftercare. Some suggestions are some type of support group like AA/NA meetings,, counseling( we need to get to the core issues of WHY we use drugs to "feel better".) If you don't figure this out...chances of relapse are high at some point. You also need to learn to liv elife on lifes terms...and going to mtgs. or something similar,will help you develop tools to help you deal with life.

"NOTHING CHANGES, IF NOTHING CHANGES"

If you stop using drugs , but don't make any other changes...you WILL eventually be right back where you started.

You will eventually "feel comfortable in your own skin".

Good luck.......and....... KEEP POSTING!!!

We're here for you.....

[avisg]

Life really is better clean , you enjoy things that you had totally forgotten about because of the foggy fuzzy feeling ...there is such a freedom to the will will never experience while you are taking the pills. how many have you taken today ?

[teacher569]

i wish you luck. I get its easy to throw back 6 and deal with the kids. I too have been tapering. Some days good some not. But always with the goal of not counting the pills,on the floor. Sometimes the warm fuzzies are tempting but really how do they last. TEACH

[flmagi]

It absolutley make sense. And yes life without the pills is better. Even though you think you feel all warm and fuzzy, you're missing out on so much of the better feeling. One thing is when you get off them, you will find yourself laughing again. You may think you laugh now, but you've forgotten a real laugh. You've forgotten alot of feelings that you had before the pills. You've been dimmed. Love will be stronger, sadness too. The air will smell different...so many things that you don't realize have been dimmed. I promise you, all things will be better. Can you beleive you will love your kids more?  You will, you're actually going to be overwhelmed with feelings you haven't felt in years. It can be alittle hard to handle at first, but embrace it. Good luck to you and hang in there. I'm really happy you're doing this.

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

I have a question. If anyone can answer I would be incredibly appreciative!!  If you are living clean after being hooked on painkillers- is life clean just really hard?  I know we all don't want to be addicted, want control of our lives back and don't want to end up dead.  But, is day to day life clean BETTER than being high (with warm fuzzy feelings all day)????  OR do you simply want to stay clean because the alternative is the stress of counting pills, being terrified of running out & illegal embarrassing activities to get the pills????
I wish I never experienced the euphoria & elevated mood I get from vicodin.  Then I wouldn't know what I was missing!! Does this make any sense????

[worried878]

You are doing so well...really...And I think you just hit the point where it is virtually impossible to keep getting as many as you need..then it isnt even fun anymore cos no matter how many u take it is hard to get that feeling anymore.....I mean like would we eventually get to 100 pills a day?  NOT FUNNY  and the part about being unable to get pain relief..happened to my last July after surgery...they gave me 30 pills for a week..that is nothing for me...I could get little pain relief at home...my doc kinda knew as well after the procedure as it took so much to knock me out...he is a friend and I lied..I have since found out my doc for that surgery is a recovered addict...he picked up on it quickly......I also just found out my pain mgt doc is a recovered addict...now I know why he is so funny about prescribing any narcs...I am like WOW...does this kinda **** happen to everyone?  I know it does not but it is amazing how many that it does happen to...stay focused and stick to your plan

[cathy5841]

it will take a very long time for you to return to your predrug state of mind.  but it is so worth the wait.  it will progressively get better.  good luck to you.
cathy

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

does long term excessive use of vicodin PERMANENTLY change my brain?  Will I be messed up for a while because of it?  Will I always have tolerance?

[beddow]

I was taking vicodin everyday for a year. I did the taper thing and maybe its me, but it took me quite awhile. Once I got past the cold chills/sweats I then started having the sore muscles, that lasted a few weeks then finally went away. I am still dealing with anxiety now. It can cause that. Sometimes feels like a weight is on my chest. I would say the taper thing took me a good month. Good luck! see if you can get something for the anxiety.

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

Before I started to taper I would look at people & think there is NO WAY I could get through life without vicodin.  I did it before but now I can't imagine doing it again.  I'm going to HAVE TO learn to do it again.  can anyone relate to this?

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

also it may encourage you to taper a lot because if you have a c section (& I did) you will want the pain relief they give you to work.   I didn't cut down enough & when the anesthesia wore off i was in BIG TIME pain because I still had such high tolerance.  I don't mean to scare you- they will give you more pain meds when they see it's not working but they will know you are not drug naive and I felt like a scumbag.  The dr thought I was a drug seeker & drug tested the babies!  They showed a tiny amount of opiates.  I was crushed.  They had to give me demerol to cover my pain & then a morphine pump.  They wouldn't let me breat feed till I was off that & when I did breast feed with just the percs in me my supply was way too low.  I don't know if this is bc I was taking the pills or that I started late.  Does anyone know that?

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

About when I was pregnant- runt316 asked.  At that point I was honest with my dr and wasn't taking the amount I am now so it was easier to taper down to the presribed dose. He switched me from vicoprofen to regular vicodin.  When you are pregnant you can't take ibuprofen.  So, I took the vicodin.  Then I was on STRICT bedrest and didn't leve the house except with someone else who drove me to my appointments & home.  Since o one knew, all I could do was take the prescribed amount.  No time for illegal activities to acquire the rest of my stash.  

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

thank you suppdawg.  I'm trying to wean myself starting today.  I pm'd someone with every last ------- pill I had & they gave me a tapering schedule I'm trying.  The first day was yesterday and it was just really hard to have time creep by so slowly. I wanted to throw 6 down at once to stop the craving but I didn't.  It wasn't samples.  I don't think they sample pills.  They do sample cough syrup with it in it though.

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

thank you suppdawg.  I'm trying to wean myself starting today.  I pm'd someone with every last ------- pill I had & they gave me a tapering schedule I'm trying.  The first day was yesterday and it was just really hard to have time creep by so slowly. I wanted to throw 6 down at once to stop the craving but I didn't.  It wasn't samples.  I don't think they sample pills.  They do sample cough syrup with it in it though.

[suppdawg]

I would go to your prescribing doc and just say that you want to get off of these meds. Don't talk about the excess amounts because even as prescribed you will have with drawals.  So what I would do is begin to taper over perhaps 2 weeks. You will fell like **** but should be able to function while still taking the meds. Once you are making progress ask your doc for help getting off the amount he prescribed to you. Tell him you read of anxiety , and insomnia .  He will gladly give you meds for these issues over more narcotics. If he asks you why just tell him that you hate being physically dependent on any medication.

[suppdawg]

Samples??

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

I don't dr shop in my town.  I'm really not proud of how I got the vast amounts of pills I would count & count again.  Constantly terrified of running out. I really don't want to say how I did it.  It was dangerous and I had terrible guilt.  That's part of why I have to stop.

[todd247]

How do you get enough of the drug to do 20-25 per day? Cant Dr. shop in your town because you say your husband is a doctor. Just curious.
good luck

todd

[newmanagment]

I dont know nething about pills , but i wanted to say congrads on decideing to live a free life!! the people on here are soo wonderfull, and supportive. best of luck to ya, and many prayers

[runt316]

Hi! I noticed that you've been taking them for 7 yrs, but your children are 1 & 3. Did you stop completely when pregnant w/ them? Or did you taper? I am currently pregnant & have been tapering off norcos, but some days just aren't as good as others. I can use any advice I can find. You can PM me if you'd like.  Thank you.

[scared2Bwithout_my_Vees]

You guys are unbelievable!  I didn't think I could taper down for even a few hours.  It's 7pm and I haven't changed my mind to taper down.  I know this is not much of a victory but I haven't had the willpower to even TRY to cut back.  I know that if I felt alone (no one who knows me even knows I have a problem) and didn't have you wonderful people to encourage me that I wouldn't have attempted this.  THANK YOU!  I think the worst of the wd symptoms haven't even started but this is the longest I've gone in 7 years without popping 3-6 vicodin es's every 3 hours!

[cathy5841]

just go to the top of the page and go to inbox.  yes it was awful.. not only did i think i was going to die but i wanted to...2-4 were the worst of the worst still bad on 6-7 but then i turned the corner and its been down hill since then.  i am doing great...i mean i still have days when i think of using, but i wont cuz i think about w/ds an say he11 no.  this forum got me through alot.  i mostly read i wasnt even able to type...but if you get avisg to give you a taper plan you will be great.  just hang out here with us.  this forum is great for support and advice when youneed it.
cathy

[NautyOne]

she is having tests done today.  hang tight.......she will be out later.  for sure.

Nauty...........