IAM FAILING

[KTCHCLARK]

I WENT TO A RETREAT TO GET OFF METHADONE I WAS ON FOR 4 YRS,  4 DAYS OF SUBOXIN IN THERE, GET HOME SUFFERING FOR THREE DAYS, FOUND SOME PILLS AND TAKING 5 TO 10 MGS THE LAST 3 DAYS.   IFMY FAMILY KNEW I THINK MY HUSBAND WOULD END IT.  IM WEAK, DISAPOINTED, EMPTY

[VICourageous]

Hi I think we should talk in the PM...You were there for how many days???And you used the Subs for only 4 days..That is what I did off the 12yr Methadone and 2 other meds c/t at a treatment..OMG you poor thing..You will be alright it will just take time..But the done is not good But I kinda knows what up..You can PM me if you want too...
vickie

[atthebeach]

your husband thinks you stopped taking the pills right?
do you think you can stick with a taper plan?
a taper would lessen your withdrawal symptoms. you will have them cant get around that. you can do the things I mentioned above to help you through your detox. if you move around it is way better for you than laying around. nourish your body, drink fluids, get to counseling, talk with a pastor,
do chores in small increments, be positive.
no one knows for sure how long your symptoms will last, many factors play into the equation. each day will get better and better though, but yes typically it can really takes months for your body, mind, body and soul to adjust.

[KTCHCLARK]

methadone pills i have 20 or so left just bit half of a ten  and did the same yesterday  they gave me norontin effexer and something else for restless leg symptoms but i stil feel horrible,,,   if i could know how long it would las   like two weeks months maybe i could focus more.   I dont know

[atthebeach]

Your family has to understand your pain and now your detoxing. I think it's you about hyperalgesia. The pain can actually get worse with opiates.
While you are detoxing there is rebound pain so it will get worse before it gets better. You will need to be off the meds for a few months before you can re-evaluate the pain. How many pills do you have left? Do you have any of the items Ientilned above to help with your detox?

[KTCHCLARK]

THANK YOU

[KTCHCLARK]

I STARTED ON PERCOCET FOR FIBROMYALGIA AND HERNIATED DISKS,, AFTER A YEAR THEY SWITCHED TO MORPHINE,, HAD BACK SURGERY FOR THE DISKS AND THEY TOLD ME THE ARTHRITIS IN MY BACK AND THE DEGENERATION THAT WAS HAPPENING I WOULD HAVE DISK FUSIONS EVERY 5 TO TEN YRS UNTIL MY BACK WOULD BE COMPLETLY FUSED... THE MORPHINE WAS NOT ENOUGH SOTHEY PT ME ON METHADONE AND UPED IT UNTIL IWAS ON120 MGMS A DAY.... MY HUSBAND HATED THE PILLS AND THEN THE KIDS,, SO I VOLUNTEERED TOGET A NEW DR AND COME OFF OF THEM,,, THREE WEEKSAGO.  NOW REGRETING IT   BUT KNOW  ITS THE BEST, BUT CANT TAKE THEPAIN SOIM TORN

[hope6hope]

You can't change the past Hun but you can the future. Use your children to push through the pain and get clean. You will be amazed you the depression lifts and you can actually enjoy life again. As for your husband have you explained to him how hard this is? Maybe ask him if he can help out and cut you some slack for atleast a month. Tell him you will do what you can but you need his support. Even ask your kids for support and encouragement. You can do this!!! A mother can do anything for her children. Mine are what keeps me tapering and focused on my goal. Don't beat yourself up over the past look forward to the future :) Good Luck

[atthebeach]

There is healing for you and your family. My story is long. My husband was a recovering addict when we married. He was clean for 12 years and then relapsed for 14 long years. We have four children. The first years he was off and on with using. He made the mistake of going on methadone and was on it for 10 years. During this time my oldest son was 14 and he started getting in trouble, didn't do well on school, started smoking pot. My husband was a very functional addict for many years I didn't even know he was on meth.

My son got worse, my husband got worse started drinking and taking xanax. My daughter who was 15 then started doing cocaine. I was a wreck severe panic attacks, migraines. My two youngest sons were 7 & 9.
Our home became a battleground. Constant fighting, yelling, lies and deceit, stealing. We were very sick.
There is always hope. My son is now 27 he has been clean for 4 years, my husband has been clean for 3 years, my daughter  21 has been in a Christian rehab for 7 months. My two youngest sons are 13 & 15.
We are healing. It is a process. Keep the faith Hun.

Do you have a pastor you can speak to? We are involved in our church, my sons go to youth group, we are supporte through prayer and fellowship with friends from church.
Please do things differently. Please remind me why you starting taking the pills in the first place.
Prayers and hugs,
Debbie

[KTCHCLARK]

3 GIRLS BRITTANY  21 AND TWINS ARE 15 ERIN AND SHAY,,, SHAY LIVES WITH ME BRITTANY IS ON HER OWN AND ERIN LIVES WITH HER REAL DAD...I HAVE CAUSED SO MUCH PAIN AND SADDNESS

[atthebeach]

No they will not be better off without you. Stop those thoughts now. please think positive. there is a way out of this. time will be your healer. They need to understand what you are going through. Take it slow. Do what you can. How old are your children?

[KTCHCLARK]

I HAD A SCRIPT 120 MGS   I TRIED TO DO IT AT HOME DOWN TO 30 MGS AND I WAS SO SICK.     MY HUSBAND WANTS THE HOUSE DONE PAPERWORK FOR HIS BUISNESS ABD ON THE 4TH DAY HOME SAID,,,, YOU NEED TO COME INTO IT AND GET STUFF DONE....   SO I TOOK A PILL.  I DONT KNOW YOU ALL   BUT SOMETIMES I REALLY FEEL LIKE HE WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT ME,,, MY KIDS HATE ME AND SAY I MAKE THE HOUSE DEPRESSING,,,IM OUT OF HOPE

[atthebeach]

Hun yes after 4 years  of methadone and only 4 days of detox you are going to hurt. You have to be patient. Taking more pills is only going to make things worse. Get rid of the pills, cut off all your access to pills.
Put goods things in your body to help heal you not to continue feeding your addiction.
Vitamins, ensure, boost, protein drinks, get to meetings, take hot baths with Epsom salts, go to counseling, get yourself up and moving.
What dose of methadone did you stop at?
You can do this. Many others have gone before you and forged the way.
Keep the faith, we are here to encourage you and support you,
Debbie